Traveling (2hrs) to work every day

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amother

Dodgerblue

Sun, May 22 2016, 10:31 pm

Does anyone travel to work?
I'm being offered a dream job, but that means traveling every day 2 hours to work. I'm wondering if anyone does it successfully without hurting their family and life. If yes, how did you make it work!

Would love to hear!

amother

White

Sun, May 22 2016, 10:39 pm

Do you mean 2 hours each way or round trip?

I travel about an hour each way to work by car. I used to have a different job that I traveled an hour or more each way by subway. The difference between my old and new job was that in my old job I worked very late hours and I'd come home every night between 8-9 p.m. It was not the travel but the fact that I was working so late that was killing my family life. Now I work 9-5 so I'm out of the house by 8 every morning (same time as my kids) and get home at 6. The drive can be boring especially now that it's sefira I can't listen to music. I try to listen to shiurim/lectures depending on what I can download on my phone on any given day. I also discovered librivox which is a free audio book app, mostly old classics. I also haVe to make sure to be in bed on time because driving while tired is not an option (on the subway it was easier to doze off if necessary).

If I could find a job closer to home I would take it, but I just started here and want to give it at least a couple of years before moving on. other than the commute I like everything about this job.

amother

Aubergine

Sun, May 22 2016, 10:40 pm

DH often does that. It's supposed to be 90 minutes, but with traffic it can run to 2 hrs each way. It's crazy and he's pulling his hair out. It really stresses our relationship when he comes home in a bad mood because he spent 4hrs(!) on the bus that day. I don't know how long we can keep it up, but he had a hard time finding a job, and we live in NJ where everyone has a bad commute.

If you have other options - closer job, moving, don't do it.

amother

Powderblue

Sun, May 22 2016, 10:54 pm

It is hard!! I don't know how others do it!! Obviously everyone is different but the few people in my circle" of friends ended up "giving up" and moved closer to their jobs or had to give it up because they could not do the commute.
I travel around 2 hrs. each way to/from work and it def. takes away from every part of my life since not only am I getting up really early and getting home later, but I am exhausted by the time I get to work just from the schlepping--but that is me!!
I really wonder if there are others who have commuted around 2 hrs EACH WAY to work and stayed long term!! I have been doing this a few years and stay because I AM DESPARATE BECAUSE I HAVE NO OTHER WAY TO PAY MY BILLS!! IT IS VERY VERY HARD!! I think you must think about the pros and cons and how it might affect your life!! Are there people who don't mind commuting that long? ?

good luck--

amother

Tangerine

Sun, May 22 2016, 11:18 pm

If you're talking 2 hours each way, to a full time job, there is no way to do it without hurting family life.

amother

Ecru

Mon, May 23 2016, 9:24 am

My husbands job is 2 2 1/2 hours away by car without traffic. He stays for the week. It's hard, but I'd rather that than him being so exhausted from traveling constantly.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, May 23 2016, 9:53 am

My Dh has been traveling 1 1/2 hours to work every day for about 12 years.
He doesn't mind it - there is rarely traffic so it is an fairly easy drive (accept when there is heavy rain or snow - the trip can sometimes take 5 hours).
He does come home exhausted and worn out, but it is probably the long day and manual labor involved at work.

However, I don't see how a mother with children can do it, unless the father is available to be home those hours...

Mon, May 23 2016, 10:12 am

Over an hour each way is too much for me for a daily routine, but everyone has different levels of tolerance.

tovasara

Mon, May 23 2016, 11:42 am

If it is really a dream job for you, the time may be worth it.

Are you in a position to negotiate any or combination of the following?

1. Modified work hours - meaning longer, but fewer days (to maximize the commute time)

2. Working remotely 1 or 2 days a week

Iymnok

Mon, May 23 2016, 11:50 am

My father found that because of the traffic he could get there in an equal or shorter amount of time by biking. It takes him 55 minutes to go about 14miles. His work gives incentives to those who don't use a private car too.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, May 23 2016, 9:38 pm

Thanks everyone!

This is so tricky! But, I know deep down that it won't work. I think it's time to negotiate or give up the offer.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, May 23 2016, 9:39 pm

Iymnok wrote:

That's impressive! Good for him!

tichellady

Mon, May 23 2016, 9:47 pm

tovasara wrote:

THIS. Good luck!

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