Musings about money

amother

Lime

Thu, Jun 09 2016, 7:01 am

So I've been thinking about this recently.

We are both self employed with a fluctuating combined income. Although generally middle class and financially stable, there are times when I feel more comfortable, and times when I'm tight and have to budget and be frugal. I have never been what I'd consider to be rich.

I realize that my resentment and stress level during those tighter times is how my life seems "reduced" to all about money. When income is abundant and sufficient, I can live my life meaningfully, purposely, and finances is a non-issue. It doesn't make me materialistic, the opposite.

Child needs therapy? Let's go to the best. Breaks his glasses? No problem, it happens, replace them. I'm exhausted this Friday? Shabbos from takeout, I'm taking a nap instead. My sister had a baby? I'm happy to buy her a nice gift.

And so on and so forth. When finances are tight though, I have to keep my head firmly on the pulse of my bank account instead, and life becomes somewhat dysfunctional until things turn around.

So I'm doubly stressed. Stressed to be so tight, and stressed about feeling like my living life successfully, generously, and responsibly is being compromised.

Any chizuk/insight/support would be so appreciated.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Jun 09 2016, 7:16 am

First, hugs. I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch. Of course money makes a difference in spiritual ways, as you pointed out. I think you should admit it and give yourself permission to feel sad. We're so conditioned to say that money doesn't bring happiness that we can't bring ourselves to say that it does bring ease and security. I think admitting reality helps. Hopefully when things look good again, you'll be able to focus on the non-material benefits of money.

Iymnok

Thu, Jun 09 2016, 7:28 am

Since you know that your income fluctuates, when it's higher, put some aside to ven off when it's lower. That does m an skimping a bit when the money IS in the bank. How much could tide you over on average in the down times? Try to keep that amount in a separate savings account. It's also worth having an emergency account for big unexpected repairs or other expenses.
In short, when you are doing well it's not quite as well as you thought since you need to see the big picture.
Your spending should be in gentle waves, not big spikes and crashes.
In general try to be more frugal. Make it fun. Make a contest with yourself hie my ch you could have leftover each month.
Decide a budget for gifts. You know what to expect. Simchas are generally not a surprise. If you have a 19 year old sister, she might get engaged soon, so budget your gifts in.
There are cheap and easy Shabbos foods that could be made quickly and still give you your nap.
Try to buy quality so you won't have to replace when the funding is low.