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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
Jetblack
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Fri, Jun 24 2016, 6:51 am
I really wished I I liked spending time with my 5 and 7 year old, but lately I don't. The whining, mess, noise and clinginess is too much for me and the younger one is sucking the life out me. I'm trying to foster more independence but it's slow going. This makes me sad - I loved being with them as babies.
Anyone else feel this way? I feel like a failure parent.
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amother
Aubergine
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Fri, Jun 24 2016, 7:00 am
I am sorry you are feeling like this. We all do at some point. For me the change came after my son was kidnapped and had PTSD. I did a re-vamp on my parenting and dedicated myself to him. I think that if you can get yourself into the place of thinking you are the only one that can do the mothering for your child, and this is your specific special role in the world, it can change how you feel emotionally. Another tip--sometimes I ask myself "if I could escape and do anything else in the world right now, what would it be?" Often, the answer is so dumb it is enough to pay attention to the kids. Do it, it is SO integral to your kids emotional health in the long run.
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amother
Seagreen
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Fri, Jun 24 2016, 7:06 am
amother wrote: | I am sorry you are feeling like this. We all do at some point. For me the change came after my son was kidnapped and had PTSD. I did a re-vamp on my parenting and dedicated myself to him. I think that if you can get yourself into the place of thinking you are the only one that can do the mothering for your child, and this is your specific special role in the world, it can change how you feel emotionally. Another tip--sometimes I ask myself "if I could escape and do anything else in the world right now, what would it be?" Often, the answer is so dumb it is enough to pay attention to the kids. Do it, it is SO integral to your kids emotional health in the long run. |
I dunno...when in frustrated, all I want to do is curl up on the couch and read. Not more rewarding or important but it is what it is. Validate your feelings.
I do agree though that you should throw yourself in fully. Often they pick up on your reluctance/distraction and cling even more.
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MiracleMama
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Fri, Jun 24 2016, 7:25 am
My kids can drive me to drink. It's hard in the summer when school is out and we are together all day long. They will be in camp later, but we have several weeks on our own first. I find that the more I can keep them out of the house the happier we all are. Outings need not be costly. Come up with a list of things you can do and keep everyone very busy.
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busymom
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Fri, Jun 24 2016, 7:34 am
Two things: self care and parenting books/course. Hugs
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amother
Puce
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Fri, Jun 24 2016, 7:51 am
1. Keep in mind they feel your anxiety and may be acting out against it.
2. Unless you can work out your issues, please don't have more. My mother wanted to ship her ten to the moon and every single one of us have our issues now.
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amother
Jetblack
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Fri, Jun 24 2016, 8:06 am
amother wrote: | 1. Keep in mind they feel your anxiety and may be acting out against it.
2. Unless you can work out your issues, please don't have more. My mother wanted to ship her ten to the moon and every single one of us have our issues now. |
I can't afford more than 2 kids anyway, so I'm not having any more children.
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