Not enjoying parenting as much as I'd hoped.

ora_43

Fri, Aug 05 2016, 6:43 am

Can you get a mother's helper for a few hours a week? IE an older child/young teen who can play with the kids for an hour or so while you're at home? That's usually a lot cheaper than cleaning help IME.

Also, what about trading off kid time with someone in the community? Like, you have her kids over one afternoon a week, she has yours over once a week?

It's also more than OK to expect them to entertain themselves for a while, while you get things done or just sit and enjoy some quiet. Or to stick them in front of the TV for a couple hours from time to time.

Like previous posters said it sounds to me like you need more time to yourself. Even the ideal job wouldn't be very enjoyable as the second shift in an 18-hour workday.

amother

Pumpkin

Fri, Aug 05 2016, 9:40 am

Pleeeease make sure to do things fur yourself so you dont feel sooo drained when you're with the kids. When I took a nap in the afternoon I was so much more energetic and enjoyed the kids suppertime and bed time. Go out with your husband friends malls etc

amother

Papaya

Fri, Aug 05 2016, 11:29 am

amother wrote:

Thanks, don't have time to nap. I am kind of burned out. Sometimes I do tv for them. Thank you for all of your advice ladies. It's amazing how just 3-5 hours with my kid can completely drain me and wear me out. I run half-marathons! 😳

studying_torah

Fri, Aug 05 2016, 12:02 pm

Can you post the appx age of your kids, so we can come up with more things they can do to keep busy on their own?
Little simple crafts , even a new coloring book and new crayons can keep little kids busy for a while. Even better are the ones with easy activities (dot to dot, find the difference). Bubbles and bubble guns, chalk to color or hopscotch are great for the porch or yard . Hula hoops, jump rope also are things they can master alone, get out their energy while you watch. (I use that as a time to chat with a neighbor which helps to recharge)
Visit a local library, even if your kids can't read yet there are books on cd. Even my almost 2 year old loves to listen to the story.
The long shabbos days are very hard, but getting together with a neighbor or nearby friend can break up the day. Plus other family's toys are always better Wink

New library books save our sanity, plus easy boardgames like chutes & ladders, candyland, bingo, memory games, dressup, using fake food to set up a shabbos table etc.
Don't feel bad if your kids play while you observe and only make the occasional comment. You don't need to interact or entertain them constantly.

amother

Aqua

Fri, Aug 05 2016, 1:02 pm

Thank you OP, for opening this can of worms and allowing me (and apparently many other frum mothers as well) to be honest with myself and recognize that some of us just may not be as suited to this Mommying as others. It's especially hard because in our society it's seen as the ultimate, if not only, job worth doing, and then to find oneself failing or disliking this job almost seems like there is something deeply wrong about oneself. I know I feel that way. I have 4, and while I love my kids very much, I'd much rather spend time alone, and really don't enjoy much of the day-to-day. I don't like being touched with greasy hands, don't like baking with the kids, don't enjoy the endless chatter. I try to be the best mother I can be, try my hardest to push myself to do things with them. I know I"m not the mother I once set out to be, and therefore I appreciate your posting, so that at least I know I'm not alone.