Rear facing car seat

amother

Goldenrod

Mon, Aug 15 2016, 9:52 pm

My 11 month old hates being in her rear facing car seat and cries the entire ride. When I tried the forward facing she didn't cry and behaved beautifully.
I know the law is until 12 months and 20 lbs. but the recommendation is until 2 years.
Obviously, her safety comes first so I'll need to deal with the crying.

My questions are

Do you really keep your 1+ child rear facing?
Do they not mind the reclining position?
and any ideas what I can do to make her happier?

Posting anon because I keep discussing this with my sister.

amother

Cerise

Mon, Aug 15 2016, 9:54 pm

Yes I keep my children rear facing till 2.
With my oldest before the 2 year recommendation was out he stayed there till he was almost two when he weighed 20lbs
As they say safety first!

amother

Salmon

Mon, Aug 15 2016, 9:58 pm

My 4 year old and 1 1/2 yr old are both rear facing. I'll keep rear facing them until they have outgrown it.

Rutabaga

Mon, Aug 15 2016, 11:12 pm

I keep my kids rear facing until the pediatrician says it's okay to switch.

I have a mirror like this https://m.buybuybaby.com/m/pro.....ached to the seat back so the baby can see her reflection and I can peek at her. I have these https://m.buybuybaby.com/m/pro.....20507 to attach a couple of toys to the car seat so she can't lose them.

What works best for keeping my 18 mo happy is having company in the backseat. If it's just us then music CDs helps keep her calm. If all else fails I sing to her.

Ema of 5

Mon, Aug 15 2016, 11:18 pm

I kept my now 4 year old RF until he was about 3.5. We took his car seat out of the car for something and it was reinstalled FF and he didn't want to switch back.

You can get toys, books, snacks, a good mirror....
Also play fun music when you guys are in the car.

seeker

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 1:48 am

Absolutely. Google to learn more about how vastly better it is in case of a crash. If your child is uncomfortable maybe it has to do with the seat you're using. I turned my kids to ff when they were approaching the height limit for rear facing in their specific seat. One about 3 1/2 years old the other iirc closer to 4. They seemed pretty comfortable. They like the view but did not like having to get used to their feet dangling in front of them.

LittleDucky

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 2:25 am

Keep them there until they no longer fit. I keep mine as long as possible and kept one in until 2 years or so and only switched when the legs were pretty crunched (which is a hip issue, especially in an accident. There could be 2 broken hips or other bones...).

seeker

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 9:21 am

I have never heard of any broken hips due to rear facing car seats, do you have any actual info on that? In any case the rationale is that broken legs (which afaik is still only a theoretical concern as it isn't generally known to happen) is about 100 times better than broken backs or necks.

Ema of 5

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 12:39 pm

seeker wrote:

I was going to say the same thing. Most kids don't keep their feet sticking out in front of them when they RF. They cross, hang them over the sides, whatever.

HonesttoGod

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 12:41 pm

The law is actually in the process of changing in many states to be rear facing until 2.

And yes I kept my older kids until 2 and my younger son now was in until 2.4. The only reason I changed him ff was for space reasons (selfishly) but ideally I would keep him until at least 3 or 4.

It is definitely safer to be rf.
If she really doesn't like it, find a toy, mirror, etc something to keep her happy rear facing. Until at least the age of 2.

amother

Violet

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 12:54 pm

My 3.5 year old is still rear-facing. I also noticed that she is happier in some carseats than others. In particular, she hates my MIL's carseat rear-facing, but when it's rear-facing she says it's not as bad. She loves my parent's carseat rear-facing. I think it has to do with how the straps/buckles rest on her, which can be affected by the recline (and the recline is affected by forward facing or rear-facing). It's possible a different carseat would work better, but that obviously may not be a feasible solution (although, if you could switch with relatives with a less picky child. . .)

Here's why your kid should stay rear-facing:

1) First of all, breaking legs or hips when rear-facing in the event of crash is not a problem - a common myth. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it is extremely unlikely, and there are no studies to back it up. Studies have even shown that the rate of injuries to the lower extremities in a car crash is greater forward facing than rear facing (for more info, see the following links: http://www.rearfacingtoddlers.com/faq.html , http://cpsafetycom.azurewebsit......aspx , http://www.parenting.com/artic.....lines , https://saferide4kids.com/keep.....ible/ )

2) Furthermore, in Europe, they keep kids in rear-facing car seats until age 4. The main reason why is because at age 4, the vertebrae in the neck/spine of children becomes much more stable because there becomes more bone vs. cartilage and this makes it strong enough to withstand certain types of impact that a younger child's neck/spine cannot withstand (and by cannot withstand, I mean incur serious injury like paralysis or even death). Sweden, where children are in rear-facing car seats until age 4, has the world’s lowest highway fatality rate for children under 6 in the world, with almost no fatalities in any given year. In the USA, car accidents are the NUMBER ONE cause of death of children. I strongly recommend keeping your child rear-facing until age 4 if you can - it is significantly safer.

On a practical note, my daughter also gets carsick - in any vehicle, in any carseat, facing any direction. It involves a lot of crying. She does better if someone sits with her in the back to distract her, if she has a toy to hold but nothing that requires concentration, and if she can eat a tea biscuit during the ride (don't give foods that won't dissolve in the mouth, because they could be a choking hazard). The mirror that some people suggested is also a good idea - position it so it is opposite your rear-view mirror and then you can see each other.

Good luck!

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 4:06 pm

OP, did you try your baby RF in a convertible, or just in the infant seat? If she is still in an infant seat, try a RF convertible, there is a lot more space and the angle is better (if she is in a convertible, check the angle, as she gets older, the angle can be more upright).

My almost 3 yo is still RF and I have no plans of switching him any time soon. He is in a Diono Radian with TONS of room in one vehicle, and in another in a smaller car seat, the Safety 1st Guide 65 which is more cramped, but some of that is due to the seat he is in. He can fold his legs or drape them on the sides (I've posted a picture of another one of my kids doing that in years ago)...much more comfortable than FF when all the pressure is on the bottom. The daughter above him was car sick prone at every carpool, so my husband switched her FF (she was 2.5) and it did not help.

The law for minimum age before FF in NJ is 2 years old, BTW.

amother

Aqua

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 5:52 pm

If your child drapes legs over the side, how do you keep them from kicking the kids sitting next to the car seat (and yes, there have to be kids sitting next to it.) Some kids are very tall at age 2. I find that legs do not stay folded in front- they stray over the side to siblings.

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 6:06 pm

OP here.

Thank you everyone!!

I will keep her rear facing beezras hashem.

I have the mirror and it doesn't help. She still cries. I think it's because its reclined. It's not an infant seat -it's the convertible one.

Is there a rear facing car seat that doesn't recline?

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 11:08 pm

The way my kids are puzzled in my tighter fit vehicle, I have a car seat next to my RF kid, so it doesn't touch te child next to him. In the other one, there is more space and he is in a Radian so very little hangs out on the side.

With the Radian, you can use an angle adjuster to make it very upright, but they all recline, but at different angles. Look for one with little front to back space and high RF limits -- those are ones that allow for more upright angles at older ages.

amother

Rose

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 3:56 pm

About the hip issue, a relative who agrees with RF as long as possible told me the same thing- that my kid is at risk for broken hips. I switched at about 2 years. This relative is an experienced PT (decades of working with many types of patients including trauma/accidents ).

Ema of 5

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 5:41 pm

Can you ask that relative for a source for that please? Other than anecdotal? None of the research I have seen has supported that, so if there's something out there that does, id be very interested in reading it.

MrsDash

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 5:50 pm

amother wrote:

If an accident is so severe that the child has a hip injury, can you imagine how much worse it would have been for them had they been forward facing?

amother

Mint

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 5:51 pm

Mine just had her first birthday, though she's tall for her age. We recently switched her from the infant bucket seat to a convertible, rear-facing. We don't actually have a car yet- the carseat is for the several times a year we need to rent one for some trip or another- but she seemed to be less carsick in the new seat- in the old one she threw up pretty much every car trip from age 6 months, but she didn't the 2 or 3 times she was in the new carseat.
Major differences were- she was behind the driver's seat instead of in the middle, so she was able to see out the window better, and the convertible has her less reclined than the bucket.