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-> Household Management
Ruchel
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Mon, Aug 29 2016, 11:38 am
Nah. Nothing comes for free except maybe once a neighbour sending a kid to help because you're giving birth or something.
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ectomorph
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Mon, Aug 29 2016, 3:53 pm
I was a chesed girl and was offered it when I was in a difficult situation but didn't accept it... I needed more help than 3 hours a week.
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Notsobusy
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Mon, Aug 29 2016, 4:31 pm
I'm in Lakewood, I B"H never needed a chessed girl, but my dd's school offers it. I know some girls helped out in the Center, some did chessed for family friends or neighbors and some were set up by the school. My nieces in other schools also did chessed hours. We have a neighbor who needs help, so that's where my dd went. She also needed help before the high school girls got home, so we set up a rotation for the elementary girls to go first, and then the high school girls would do bath and bed time.
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amother
Cerulean
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Mon, Aug 29 2016, 5:45 pm
I'm in Passaic - my family was helped by a girl in 8th grade. She came every Monday for an hour to help with homework. It was invaluable!
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seeker
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Mon, Aug 29 2016, 7:10 pm
I'm pretty sure, I hope at least, that a handful of families in my neighborhood who had multiples or similar setup, were helped by a lovely, charming, and capable chessed girl about 15-20 years ago
I wouldn't worry about insufficiency - the chessed girls are not supposed to solve all your problems, it's to give you a break so you don't feel that crushing need to do EVERYTHING. seriously, at critical times, even an hour of that can save you from a total breakdown.
Probably other places are different but my community if someone really needed lots of help they would get a rotation of multiple helpers. Like the preemie triplets who needed form holding, feeding, watching, etc around clock, for a few months there was one of us there in two shifts every night. But that wasn't a chessed factory, mute like the neighborhood coming together to help out. The school chessed program hours were more like "give the mom a little break"
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cbsp
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Tue, Aug 30 2016, 10:33 am
amother wrote: | I'm in Passaic - my family was helped by a girl in 8th grade. She came every Monday for an hour to help with homework. It was invaluable! |
I'm also in Passaic and we've been helped tremendously by Chessed girls (from a variety of schools). I don't think I could have made it without their help.
Are there inherent flaws to a system that relies on young girls who do have other primary responsibilities and a limited way of getting places without relying on others for rides? Of course! It would also be so helpful if it weren't tied to the school calendar - summer time, mid winter vacation, etc.
But for the goals of teaching kids to think of others, to be givers, and to actually help families? I think the programs do accomplish what they've set out to do...
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amother
Beige
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Tue, Aug 30 2016, 12:30 pm
I have so many thoughts running through my head- people expecting HS girls to help for free, doing less than desirable jobs that will get them filthy etc.
My HS had chessed programs but we had rules- no cooking, cleaning (I'm not talking about a quick sweep...while it might not have been allowed we did it if we were comfortable), or childcare duties (bathing etc). We were there to help with homework, play games with the kids, read books etc. it was a big help to mom who could then cook dinner, do laundry or mop. I do know one girl who got permission to help out a family with a sick kid get the other kids out to school- I think she davened at home and was allowed to come late to school.
I don't have a chessed girl but I wouldn't give her a job I didn't like or felt uncomfortable doing for others. Changing clothes or bathing can bring so many issues. Or cooking- what if the high school girl got hurt?
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amother
Chartreuse
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Tue, Aug 30 2016, 3:53 pm
I come from an oot high school. The cheesed girls are amazing. They will help you tons, childcare, cooking, special needs children, setting up for a simcha
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tigerwife
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Tue, Aug 30 2016, 5:37 pm
Bais Yaakov HS in Boro Park had a great chesed program run by Reb. Hirschberg (a"h). I'm sure they still help out a lot of families today.
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