Feeling pressure from a kindergarten teacher

amother

Olive

Thu, Oct 27 2016, 4:25 pm

My child is in kindergarten and I feel the stress already (like many moms, I'm sure!). Some days, she gives out homework, and he's been doing it nicely. However, sometimes he tells me something is too difficult for him and he gets frustrated, so I don't push him and just slowly teach him the next day. He's not very social and english isn't his first language (he speaks two other languages at home). He started having some extra help at school, but the teacher told me that's not enough and I should go over a picture book with him. She said he doesn't know how to say in english some of the pictures she shows him (like a "bell"). I do read to him some english books, show some tv shows in english and I try my best to show him picture books. Of course he doesn't know all of the words in english yet because he's also learning two other languages! I just feel a bit pressure from this kindergarten teacher and I'm not sure what to do. I did read that bilingual kids have a bit of a delay. I just don't like to feel this pressure... I believe my son is learning things every day, maybe he doesn't speak or know english as much as the others (especially since he's quiet at school and doesn't speak much), but he speaks two other languages at home and I don't think it's fair to pressure the parent & child because kindergarten has these "guidelines" ... This is definitely not the way I was taught in kindergarten... too much in my opinion.

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Oct 27 2016, 5:20 pm

What guidelines do they have in kindergarten.

There are many studies that show that children that know more than one language, may have a delay in speaking, but have higher IQ, maybe up to 15 points higher for each language. That's huge.

Let the school classify him as an ESOL student.

What exactly is the teacher pushing you to do?
Also, why is the homework so hard?

When my kids were in kindergarten they occasionally got an Aleph Bet sheet (3x a week) and when they were ready a small first reader story book that they were only allowed to get a new one once a week. Giving them enough time to go through the story a few times. We called them Mac and Tab books.

seeker

Thu, Oct 27 2016, 5:47 pm

Sounds like you're doing everything right and the teacher's expectations may be too high, or the way she expects them may be too stressy. Perhaps you and your son would do better in a different placement, if possible. Is there bilingual school available that has the same language as you? A lower-stress English school/class should also be fine.

amother

Olive

Thu, Oct 27 2016, 6:10 pm

seeker wrote:

The surprising thing is that this is a yeshiva that has quite a few israeli kids so I'm sure he's not the only bilingual child. The problem is that he's not as social, he's very quiet so I guess it's taking him "longer" to speak english because of that. The teacher asked me if I only speak to him in hebrew and the way she asked me, it sounded like it's a bad thing and I should speak to him in english too so he won't be behind at school. I do read books for him in english. My husband is now also going to take more time with him and show him picture books. He's actually doing pretty well, my younger child is even weaker with english so I guess I have to start now! I'm just a bit surprised that this teacher, who has been a teacher for many years at the school, doesn't seem to be very understanding about a multilingual child who needs a bit more time with the english language.

amother

Olive

Thu, Oct 27 2016, 6:15 pm

amother wrote:

The homework isn't hard. The teacher gives out only math sheets (writing numbers) about once or twice a week. My son is actually doing well with math and writing the numbers. It's english that he has a problem with. Since he's very quiet at school, I guess the teacher doesn't really hear him speak english. He's not quiet because of the language, he's just a quiet boy in general at school (happened at pre-K as well). I don't mind that the teacher is at least trying to help my son. But I can't really help as much besides as showing him picture books and reading more english books. There's no way I'd suddenly speak to him in english..hebrew is his first language. I'm not sure if the school has a classification as an "ESOL" student. When I moved from Israel to the US, I went to a public school and over there I was in an ESL class and then I moved up to a regular english class. Those classes at public schools really helped me out because they have so many multilingual kids at public schools. I'm not sure about this yeshiva... but they do have some israeli kids.

cbg

Thu, Oct 27 2016, 8:20 pm

Don't feel pressured into not speaking Hebrew to him.
If he's in yeshiva, he will need it when they start learning Chumash.
And then he'll be ahead of the game.
He will pick up English sure enough.
Perhaps he can get speech therapy at school.
I don't know if they provide this for ESOL students.
Maybe get him evaluated and if he qualifies he'll get services.

seeker

Thu, Oct 27 2016, 11:38 pm

Research shows that regardless of delays, in the long run kids develop better language skills across all languages when their primary caregivers talk to them in their own (the caregiver's) native language. Or something like that. In other words modeling natural, skilled expression is more valuable to the child than introducing a different language.

Other research suggests that multilingual kids do better when each person speaks one language and doesn't mix them up.

Putting both together, it's better for the kids if dad speaks French and mom speaks Spanish than if dad speaks French and mom speaks broken French with some Spanish mixed in for enrichment.

At the same time it is also possible for a language disability to interfere with all that multilingual awesomeness. therefore it would be nice, just in case, to have his language and learning development objectively evaluated IN HIS PRIMARY LANGUAGE, preferably by someone who specializes in multilingual children if possible. A lot more helpful than our theoretical guesses here.

Marion

Fri, Oct 28 2016, 12:22 am

My Hebrew is pretty darn good, if I may say so myself, and even so, I told the gannenot that we speak English at home because I didn't want them to get bad input and learn incorrectly. (That stopped with my truly language delayed child - we spoke Hebrew with him because he was going to HAVE TO acquire that one...) Of course, I listen to many of the other moms speak (and see how they spell) and wonder if I should have used my own Hebrew; it's grammatically much more correct than theirs!

amother

Maroon

Fri, Oct 28 2016, 4:59 am

My preschooler is bilingual the other way - we speak English at home and she gets Hebrew in gan (we're in Israel). My daughter's Hebrew was not catching up as much as the ganenet would have liked, but we really wanted to do only English (speaking, playing, books, etc) at home to make sure her English stays good later, and so last year we paid an teenager (who knew only Hebrew and not English) to babysit on a regular basis and play with her and read to her only in Hebrew (and we're not around, so that time is one-on-one Hebrew only). The one-on-one attention and time in Hebrew improved her Hebrew tremendously - in just a few weeks, we already started seeing a significant improvement. I strongly recommend this - that way, you can speak your languages at home with your child, but your child gets one-on-one time in the same language as at preschool, and it's great for a shy child. My daughter actually told me last week that she prefers to speak in Hebrew; though, because we only do English at home, she speaks English with us, and I am so glad we didn't switch to Hebrew with her because I don't think her English would have stayed strong enough otherwise.

Another suggestion, I've noticed that certain television shows are great for improving vocabulary and some don't make much of a difference. We show our daughter TV shows in English to help keep up her English, now that her Hebrew has surpassed it. In particular, Mr. Rogers is fantastic, as is Reading Rainbow - both these shows have a host who speaks slowly, clearly, and directly to the child (the camera really), instead of dialogue which is harder to follow. The format of the shows also has them learning about how things work or discussing topics, which is much more conducive to building language skills than watching a fun storyline. I think that these shows are actually better than Sesame Street or cartoons in terms of language building (in our experience).