Do you give holiday gifts to tutors

ruby slippers

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 6:18 am

Part of me feels like we pay so much already the other part is feeling it is a nice gesture....and unfortunately people remember you gave them something extra and may in the future I you need something from them will go the extra mile..like going out of their way to write recommendation letters for college or something to that idea- thoughts?

amazingmommy

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 6:21 am

I think giving something is nice. It doesn't have to cost money at all. You can give a nice card with something home made.
Or you can give a box of chocolates, or anything else thoughtful and small.
You will just be showing your appreciation that way.

33055

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 6:44 am

eema1 wrote:

I never tip tutors because I pay so much. A Rebbe may make the same or less per hour, but he has a much harder job. I give the same nice MM Purim I give everyone else.

They will write to the nice recommendation letter anyway because they rely on their reputation and happy clients.

seeker

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 8:43 am

Yes.

Money or no money, they are helping your child. Money is payment, not appreciation, and not relationship. Don't spend a lot on a gift, but definitely do make some friendly gesture. Box of chocolates is about right, doesn't need to be large or from the most expensive brand, it's really the thought that counts if you're also paying good money.

amother

Smokey

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 8:52 am

As a rule, no. It's a nice gesture and I have done it for certain therapists/ tutors in the past who charged comparatively (to going rate) little yet achieved a lot with my child and had a great rapport. But for the typical tutor that charges an arm and a leg and does her job efficiently but nothing above and beyond, no. Seems like for what I pay I should be the one getting Chanukah gifts from them.

ruby slippers

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 8:56 am

amother wrote:

Loved your last line.

Thanks everyone- think the small token gift like chocolates or some specialty tea is the way to go...

seeker

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 10:44 am

I actually think a home-grown cucumber is nice! The point is that it builds your rapport and relationship. When it comes to personal services like tutoring, you're not just buying a product, you're in a relationship. Everyone benefits when there is some warm camaraderie.

Bosses often give something to employees, too. They are also just doing their job but everyone is better off with some warm feelings in the air.

I never heard of a tutor giving an employer a gift, but I have seen very often tutors give their students something. It's a gesture of friendliness. The student does better with the tutor who fosters a warm relationship, and the tutor is likely to do better with the family that fosters a warm relationship.

Obviously one hopes no one holds it against you if you don't give anything, and if this were a thread for tutors about whether parents should be giving them anything my answer would be "no, don't expect it." But because this is parents asking if this is recommended, then yes I recommend it.

agreer

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 12:03 pm

I'm a tutor. I have never received a tip for chanuka, and I would never expect to.

I don't tip people I pay well.

Tips are for waiters, service people, grocery delivery boys, etc.

lora

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 2:03 pm

if your giving in the end its the though that counts most, your right about it being remembered, that human nature and it cant hurt to show appreciation, a box of good chocolate or a $20 piece of jewelry should do the job

amother

Cobalt

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 3:12 pm

I gave a school therapist a large chocolate that says #1 therapist and wrote a nice card.
A chavrusa who goes out of his way for my son and speaks to me with updates etc I gave $100. He's a rebbi during the day and can use the extra money so even though I Pay a lot each week I felt that he deserved it.
I myself am a therapist and know that anything I've ever received I've appreciated and see that the parents acknowledged that I am putting effort into their child. It doesn't matter if it's a large gift card or a book, a salad bowl or a soap package it's the thought that goes along and of course, the note.