Always begging for goodies

amother

Pewter

Fri, Jan 20 2017, 8:00 am

So my 3.5 yo is ALWAYS begging for goodies.
I've never seen a kid like that.

Usually daytime I'm often able to calmly say no and and change the subject.

If my father visits the first thing before hello is "chdarf a gitta zach" same if we visit my mil or sister or anyone.

The reall problem though is, she wakes up in middle of the night and wakes me up in hopes of getting a "gita zach" 2 am, 4 am, 6 am (today). She comes into my room in hopes of getting a goody.

Now, some mornings when she wakes up when dh leaves for work, he'll give her a cupcake or a cookie or some wafers. I know I have to stop this. My by husband claims that she's really hungry (she cries she's hungry but usually wont take a banana or bread) and she's just a little baby. And she's hungry.
This morning I told him no more goodies for her in the morning.

She was up around 4 am this night and then again at 6. She begged and refused to go back to bed till 7:30 when dh left. The sje cried for 10 minutes until she calmed down.
She's in her bed now.

Now I don't mind if she has a cookie. But she can't be coming into my room at all hours of the night for one.

She has plenty of nosh on shabbos and in school. Cookies probably every other day or more.
I think she's not deprived.

But maybe I am to stingy with the goodys? She goes nuts for taffies and candy bars and chocolate.

Dh grew up with tons of nosh. If a cold cried, the response was "why are you crying, here tale a lollypop/cake/other sweets.... "

To this day dh struggles with it. He is way overwrought but can't so eating massive amounts of cake and stuff.
I done want this relapsing with food for her, but maybe I'm creating some other food monster by withholding?

But one thing is for sure, the midnight wakings has GOT to end.

Thanks for reading my ramble till the end Smile

Lady Bug

Fri, Jan 20 2017, 9:08 am

Check her for pinworms. Sometimes kids crave sugar when they have pinworms.

Otherwise, it's time to sit down with her and have a talk. At 3.5 she can understand. Tell her nosh tastes good but is bad for the teeth and tummy if you eat too much. So she can have 1 nosh at a set time and the rest of the time you will tell her no. She might cry, but that doesn't mean you don't love her, that means you love her and want to keep her healthy.

Then when she cries, just stay calm and continue saying no and validating that she is upset because she can't have nosh. The crying will pass. After tops a week of you sticking to your guns, she will no longer ask for it. Definitely don't give nosh in middle of the night! That's insane. She shouldn't be waking up that often, so again, maybe pinworms.

In general, when I'm faced with a situation where I'm afraid I might be "damaging" my child, it's important for me to check in with my intention. If my intention is to care for my child, then the child won't be damaged by my discipline/action/reaction.

Some other ideas:
Read some kids books on healthy eating together
Take her to the dentist and let the dentist talk about keeping our teeth healthy

gp2.0

Fri, Jan 20 2017, 9:26 am

My 3.5 yo asks for nosh every time she's hungry. Seems like your DD is doing the same thing. Start offering her a bigger variety of food and slightly bigger portions. There are so many options besides bananas and bread for breakfast. What does she typically eat throughout the day? Every time she asks for nosh, offer her a healthy snack or meal. And give her a healthy snack right before bedtime if she's waking up hungry in middle of the night.

My pediatrician told me a long time ago that children naturally regulate their hunger. They usually don't nosh like adults do, they eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full.

mummiedearest

Fri, Jan 20 2017, 9:31 am

what percentage of the food she eats over the course of the day is nosh? if she can't sleep through the night (and it's not pinworms, as suggested above), she may be filling up on food that gives her a temporary full feeling. does she eat a nice amount of protein and produce? if she doesn't eat enough nutritious food, she may not be able to stay asleep that long. if she wakes up hungry, consider offering a cup of plain milk as the only option.

honestly, since your dh struggles and gives in to the junk requests, I'd get rid of all junk for a couple of weeks. switch the shabbos junk for something healthy but delicious. once she's eating a healthy balance of things, you can allow the junk on shabbos again, in moderation, of course.

amother

Jade

Sat, Jan 21 2017, 3:24 pm

My parents did something clever with me when I was little, but a little older than your daughter (I think around 4). They gave me 3 'dessert coupons' every day. I could redeem them any time throughout the day for any sort of candy / ice cream / cake / treat / nosh / etc. But only 3. Once I was out of coupons, I was out of luck. But I felt like I had so much control over it! And on shabbos, as a treat, I got 4 coupons every shabbos, so I could have an extra nosh to make shabbos special. This worked fantastically for me as a kid, and I am really not a nosher at all as an adult.

Your daughter is probably old enough to do this - in fact, my 3.5 year old has started begging for nosh all day, and we were just thinking about instituting this with her.

Teomima

Sat, Jan 21 2017, 3:49 pm

I'd say just cut it out. We don't keep any junk in the house. There's plenty of snacks my kids have free access to, like nuts, seeds, non-sugary cereals, brown rice crackers, fruit, etc. For treats they get dates or I make healthy snacks, like homemade popcorn, kale chips, or oat & nut butter balls. I've never understood why people keep junk in their homes. The kids will get enough of it at school, birthday parties, or Shabbat dessert. This is especially true if your kid had no control. You're not denying her anything if it's not even in the house.

(We're not some crazy health food family, either. My number one reason for no junk is so it doesn't tempt ME. Dh and I are both overweight and I live in fear of my kids developing the same unhealthy relationship with food that I have. Somehow, though, by giving then unlimited access to "good" snacks, they've better grasped the concept of "sometimes foods" vs "anytime foods")

33055

Sat, Jan 21 2017, 6:57 pm

Teomima wrote:

This is great. I had a no junk food policy when the kids were younger, and they never developed a taste for it. I couldn't control school, DH, and other people's homes, but without constant home access they learned portion control.

DH is a junk food eater, and he keeps sugary things in his car. He buys junk when he food shops which I always placed up high. Now that the kids can reach, they never take.

I can also leave cakes and cookies out for guests without my kids over-indulging.

FranticFrummie

Sat, Jan 21 2017, 7:00 pm

DD never had nosh until she started kindergarten. She ate really well, and was quite well behaved. Then school started, and they gave out candy every single day! I hated it, and begged the school to stop, but they didn't listen to me.

Then Simchas Torah came around, and we ended up going home with a HUGE bag of candy. I kept it on top of the fridge, and only gave a few pieces as Shabbos treats.

DD woke me up one morning, begging for candy. I must have said "no" a million times, but she worked herself into hysterics, and would not leave me alone! I was exhausted, and at my wit's end. I got up, gave her the whole bag of candy, and went back to bed for an hour.

Later on that day she asked me what was for lunch, and I said "candy". You woke me up for it, you begged for it, so that's what you're eating.

When dinner rolled around, it was the same thing. "Candy."

Breakfast the next day, she said what are we eating, and I said "You're having candy, and I am eating eggs."

By lunchtime, she was BEGGING me "Mama, I need HEALTHY FOOOOOOOD!!!" She ate a nice plate of steamed vegetables, brown rice, and poached chicken breast.

She was so sick of candy, that from that day on, she has naturally regulated her sugar intake. It completely cured her out of control sweet tooth. She was even bringing candy home from school, and asking me to put it away for Shabbos!

thanks

Sat, Jan 21 2017, 8:19 pm

When you give in sometimes, and say no other times, the response is an incredible desire for the pleasure that was taken away. It's known as "intermittent reinforcement."

The best thing you can do is be consistent. Say no when it's not time for nosh. You may chose to get rid of it all together, or have a specific time when a nosh is allowed or a specific amount of nosh that is allowed per day (like the poster with the tickets). Put some routine in place instead of randomly giving in to her requests.