3yr old is it sensory/anxiety/or what???

amother

Tan

Sat, Feb 04 2017, 8:56 pm

Please someone guide me- maybe someone has dealt with a child and has had success. My child is 3, I'm seeing recently more sensory issues. Child won't wear certain clothing/ if it has a zipper by neck / if it is a sweatshirt/ if it's short sleeve or short pants/ won't wear his shoes only his boots. He always hated dirt, bath time he stands majority of the time and shrieks to come out if there's a speck of dirt. He has never slept through the night and wakes up at least 3 times a night. Often screams/ last two months has fears of animals in bed..... I feel like it all goes together just don't know how to help him before it gets much worse. It wasn't this bad 6 months ago.
He's approved for OT but I haven't been able to find and OT that's good. Any recommendations please would be so appreciated. I live in Brooklyn area.

gp2.0

Sun, Feb 05 2017, 9:34 am

Did anything significant change a few months ago that could cause anxiety? A new baby in the family, a move, something that shook his security?

My DD had night terrors every night after I had a baby. They lasted almost a year.

The sensory issues sound normal and mild. (I won't wear a zipper at my neck either.)

Irrational fears are also normal at this age as their imaginations grow.

For the bath I'd suggest new and exciting bath toys so that he's enjoying himself and distracted and not thinking about dirt. Reframe his thinking - baths aren't about being dirty - they're about playing with exciting bath toys that he can only play with in the bath. Don't make an issue if he's standing up or sitting down. But do get some toys that are easier to play with sitting down. If he's ok with it you can fill the bath with bubbles so he can't see the water. (That one can go either way, he might hate it or he might love it.)

If he finds a speck of dirt, have fun chasing it around and catching it with a bucket.

Maybe have him stand in the empty bath first and rinse him off with some buckets of warm water to wash off any lint or dirt that's on him before filling up the bath.

amother

Azure

Sun, Feb 05 2017, 9:35 am

How do you know he hasn't been through any trauma? Has he been by your side since he was born? You do not know what happens with babysitters and school, even if you think you would. Have you never left him with your relatives or cousins by himself? 3 year olds aren't exactly wonderful communicators. Night terrors and screaming in the night and nightmares and waking up three times in the night are NOT normal behavior when getting out of the habit of nursing. When did you wean him anyway? Most people don't nurse past 2 and usually kicking the wake up habit lasts at most a few weeks. It is very rare of a 3 year old to be diagnosed with anxiety, but unfortunately, it is much more common for a 3 year old to be abused, molested, or emotionally abused (as slight as a super strict or authoritative teacher can do it). It could even be that one of the teachers or children your child was playing with had anxiety themselves and that affected your child. (I had one of my kids come home at age 4 talking about WW2 and a bad man that would kill you if you didn't eat your lunch etc...I took him out of the playgroup. It turned out that one of the kids in his very small playgroup had anxiety along with his mother that was the teacher). I don't think you need to go to a psychiatrist because it is unlikely your child has anxiety that needs to be medicated at such a small age. But it is extreamly important to be evaluated for trauma by a psychologist because if it has gone on, the sooner it is treated, the better the recovery. Trauma that goes unnoticed, especially if it is current instead of past, causes major attachment issues between child and parent, because the child believes you cannot or will not protect him.

I am speaking from experience here. My child was abused from age 2-3.5 and woke up every night many times screaming with nightmares. He was also very very sensory. Well guess what? After we started treating him for the abuse, the nightmares disappeared and so did all sensory issues and so did his general anxiety during the day. No, not everything is because of trauma, but if it is, I promise you want to get to it as fast as possible.

gp2.0

Sun, Feb 05 2017, 9:59 am

amother wrote:

Anything is possible but your experience is affecting your response (as it should.) I'm sorry for what you went through, it sounds awful. 😕

However you are wrong about anxiety. Anxiety and/or a big new change are often the cause for night terrors. It could be helpful for OP to rule out trauma but it's important to note that trauma isn't the only reason that night terrors happen.

greenfire

Sun, Feb 05 2017, 10:03 am

some of these things are learned traits by lack of consistency like not sleeping through the night his fear of animals could be something he read or just manipulating bedtime

you need to assure him - read nice animal stories ... look under the beds & in the closet showing him there are no animals ...

same with the bath, do a cleaning ritual with him and then take the bath assuring there is no dirt ... some kids have a fear of drains as they cannot connect where the water drains and think they too might disappear down the drain

when someone doesn't like the seams or types of clothing or textures of food this is sensory

amother

White

Sun, Feb 05 2017, 10:13 am

amother wrote:

Why would a hold psychiatrist be needed for the night? He used to wake for nursing now he wakes for sometimes a drink and often just crying and I take him next to me he calms down. He did go though period of night terrors and now he gets them sporadically, but he hasn't been through any trauma

who diagnosed the night terror? why is he waking up crying? Why does he think there are animals in his bed?

I was not in anyway suggesting a connection to abuse.

You asked for guidance. If this was my child, I'd meet with a psychiatrist to get some reassurances that all I'm dealing with is mild situational anxiety and sensory issues - and then figure out how deal with those.

amother

Cerise

Sun, Feb 05 2017, 1:46 pm

Has he had strep or a virus recently? Those can be triggers for anxiety behavior.

I hate to say this, but DD was molested when she was 2.5, and she acted just like your DS. Once I figured out what was going on and got her away from the situation, everything settled down literally overnight. I told her that the boy would never touch her again, and she immediately calmed down.

B'H, I think she has no memory of it, but I was hysterical for months afterward. I had to hide my feelings really well and fake being happy, so I wouldn't traumatize her further.

Keep in mind, if someone is molesting your child (CVS) it might not be an adult. It could just as easily be another kid from the neighborhood. DD's molester was 9 years old. shock

Ask your DS if anyone has been mean to him, or told him scary stories.

amother

Sienna

Sun, Feb 05 2017, 3:39 pm

To me, it sounds like the issues may not be all connected. They actually sound distinct to me.

Sensory issues with clothes and bath: The sensory issues sound significant and should be dealt with ASAP. Try to help in the meantime by buying simple, cotton clothes with no zippers or unusual seams or cuts (neckline, pants length, sleeve length, etc). Try to keep baths short, bribe if you need to, and don't pour water over him at all - use your hand to gently remove the soap. Aversion to dirt is also not uncommon at this age. My daughter went through a phase where she hated being dirty, which came on quickly and disappeared almost as quickly a few months later. OT is really important for sensory issues. I don't live in your area, so I'm sorry I don't have an OT recommendation.

Night waking: If he's waking at night, it's probably because he never learned to sleep through the night, and he will need to be taught. Many of 3 year olds don't know how to sleep through the night, if they never learned how to self soothe and fall asleep themselves. It may not be abnormal. There are many ways to sleep train a 3 year old. Since yours sounds like he's very sensitive in general, a gentle approach should be taken. Doesn't sound like it's related at all to sensory things.

Anxiety: Again, I'm not sure this is out of the range of normal for this age. You need to talk to him about it during the day, see if you can reduce his fears. It also may partially be a stalling tactic because he doesn't want to go to sleep. It is not related to sensory issues as far as your description goes.

Night terrors: Several posters mentioned night terrors, but it wasn't clear to me if this was happening from your original post. As for the night terrors, I'm not sure if they are beyond the norm for this age. Night terrors are certainly not abnormal. My daughter is almost 4 and still has nightmares, usually not more than once a week though, and it is normal. Is this happening?

amother

Tan

Sun, Feb 05 2017, 3:55 pm

Thank you so much for all your replies. I really appreciate it. Nightmares and night terrors are two different things and the night terrors have subsided he just gets them sporadically . Nightmares is maybe twice a week, other times just wakes up and crys till I put him back to sleep. The last poster sounded on target that maybe he has never learned how to sooth himself- any ideas how to sleep train a 3 year old.
In terms of the sensory im going to call an OT and get him the help he needs. Thank you everyone. If there's any more information that anyone can share with me I would appreciate it .

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Feb 05 2017, 6:15 pm

Hi OP,
I am an OT and would be willing to talk your situation out with you. A lot of times a whole family approach works better in the situation you are describing.
Therapy for you (anxiety at this age can be a learned behaviour)
A sensory gym for you child (I can give you recommendations)
Education for you, on how to respond to the meltdowns.
I do not want to give personal info here, but I don't mind setting up a special email just to get in touch with you.

Good luck