Advice on child not sleeping enough

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Feb 28 2017, 8:16 pm

Ds is 8. He doesn't want to go to sleep. I have tried discipline. I have tried bribes and nothing works. He decided that reading would help him but proof is it's making stay up.

Bottom line he's doing whatever it takes to stay up even though he's terribly tired. If I take away books he plays with something in his room. I can't just empty his room it's not even possible.

I am going to speak to the doctor about melatonin. But in the meantime I don't know what to do with him. He's so tired the next day.

Also he's already on other meds for other health conditions and I know it doesn't create insomnia. When he falls asleep he stays asleep. So doesn't have insomnia he just doesn't want to sleep.

Anyone has anything that worked?

amother

Mauve

Tue, Feb 28 2017, 8:46 pm

First off, I want to say I hear your frustration. Hugs.

Next I want to ever so tenderly ask if you might recall being 8.

As an 8 yr old, being punished, bribed, or other attempts by an adult to fix or change a biological function of a child will generally fail.

This is what I would do: "tatele tiehreh, I have been driving you crazy about your sleep because I wanted to help you be well rested the following day. However, I've thought about it, and realized that maybe you do not like it that I'm pressuring you about the sleep issue. So I've decided that I would let go of trying to change you, and allow you to decide when and how much you sleep. You'll be the boss over your own body. "

Children so easily pick up on the anxiety of the parents. If you can possibly chill and really let it go, hand it over to him (your son), he may over time cone to trust it and relax enough to be able to fall asleep sooner.

ckk

Tue, Feb 28 2017, 8:49 pm

This is what I would do: "tatele tiehreh, I have been driving you crazy about your sleep because I wanted to help you be well rested the following day. However, I've thought about it, and realized that maybe you do not like it that I'm pressuring you about the sleep issue. So I've decided that I would let go of trying to change you, and allow you to decide when and how much you sleep. You'll be the boss over your own body. "

Children so easily pick up on the anxiety of the parents. If you can possibly chill and really let it go, hand it over to him (your son), he may over time cone to trust it and relax enough to be able to fall asleep sooner.[/quote]

My 8 years old literally goes to bed at midnight when left up to him...

amother

Pearl

Wed, Mar 01 2017, 10:43 am

I have a teen who has been having some sleep issues, and it's not about staying asleep once you are asleep - it's about falling asleep in the first place. So you saying he doesn't have insomnia because once he falls asleep he stays that way - is inaccurate. It sounds like his issue is falling asleep. That's the tough part.

Talk to your doctor about melatonin, perhaps with benadryl in the beginning to help him fall asleep.

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Mar 01 2017, 11:14 am

ok im not going to bribe him to go to sleep. he has a time when he needs to be in bed. thats fair?

if I dont make any bedtime he will not get in before 10-11. possibly. I hear you on the taking too much control. I might give that a try. because I found that that works with him in different areas. not sure though what to think about this area yet.

yes he is a sensory child. he has sensory issues that were never taken care of. I think they are getting worse. he always had some sensory but its gotten more pronounced. when he gets a hug from me at night. he always gives me back the hardest hugs that it literally hurts me. he holds on so so tight.

what can I do? hes seeing a therapist for the adhd. is taking 4 medications for other health issues. what can I do about his sensory to help him calm down at night?

I would love to hear from an OT therapist. he also avoids many foods because of texture. he avoids many foods altogether.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR REPLYING

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Mar 01 2017, 11:17 am

my pediatrician did tell me to use melatonin. he did say he doesnt recommend it to everyone. he only recommends in cases like this. where the child has other issues and in order to help the child its a good tool.

I will be speaking to him about what is negative about melatonin. there are people out there saying it causes cancer. I will see what he says. I do trust him.

so to the poster saying that its a biological want of the child. not to want to sleep. I agree with that totally. so how does meltonin help if the child doesnt want to sleep and finds a million ways to get out of sleeping?

amother

Blue

Wed, Mar 01 2017, 4:53 pm

A few things.

You say your kid is taking a lot of medication - is it possible one of the meds is interfering with his sleep? When I was little and took ritalin for my ADHD, I could not fall asleep. When they cut out the 3rd dose of the day, I was able to fall asleep better. But lots of other types of medications interfere with sleep too - some people with ADHD have opposite side effects from medications which cause sleepiness, in other ords, medications that cause sleepiness in the average person will actually interfere with sleep in some people with ADHD. The firs thing I would do is talk to your son's doctor about whether any of his meds or combinations of meds could be affecting his sleep.

Kids with ADHD and sensory issues often have trouble falling asleep regardless. I had to learn how to fall asleep, and I only learned how as an adult. I recommend finding a psychologist who can teach your son some relaxation techniques, mindfulness techniques, meditation, or other similar things to help calm his body and his mind. I could never fall asleep because the inside of my head wouldn't shut up (thanks ADHD).

You can also try the book 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' by Dr. Weissbluth. Has good sleep solutions for every age. It could be helpful. But, if your son has ADD, sensory issues, and is on other medication, it may only be helpful if your kid learns techniques to calm his body and mind enough to actually fall asleep.

I personally wouldn't start melatonin, except as a very last resort. The reason is because once you start it, many people are basically stuck on it forever. If it's really necessary, so be it. But I would try behavioral methods first, and only if those didn't work, would I try melatonin.

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Mar 01 2017, 5:00 pm

thank you so much for your post. yes he is sensory. I dont know how to help him with that. I am working with a therapist now. he just started going. I will need to meet with her again and see how she works with my son. and see if she is good. if she is I will see if she can help him with any sleep techniques.

he has so many issues. I dont even know what to work on first. actually dh very strongly doesnt want to give him melatonin. so I will go along with that. I will if he actually has no choice.

the thing is he is tired the next day then his head hurts then he cant even hear what his rebbe is saying. its like a vicious cycle.

I dont know how the sensory and the adhd make it so hard for him to fall asleep. like you say your brain doesnt want to stop. I do know that the medications are not causing it. he has this issue even before he took meds.

oh well. I guess I will try to work with the therapist. thank you all.