Eating Emotionally need more support

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 6:29 am

Ugh I did it again.
I ate because of emotions
I'm a newbie on grey sheet, day 45
Back on day 1
Looking for something in the food
Didn't find it.
Feeling worse
Can't even identify the feeling
Probably a hormonal thing.
Wasn't hungry, just ate more because it was there.
Need to pick myself back up and start again.
Very embarassed
Just need a place to say it.
Need to be honest and get back on track.

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 6:34 am

As an emotional eater myself I have loads of sympathy. I don't know if you want advice. If you do two things that helped me a lot. One is the book by Kathryn Hansen Brain Over Binge. The other is that since I started being aware if my feelings and letting them come and go I have had less of a need to emotionally eat. Especially when I could validate the emotion's need to be seen. Sorry for the slip up. That said I don't think I can go 45 days workout a piece of junk food.

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 8:40 am

imasinger wrote:

Sapphire, could you please describe more about the process of validating an emotion's need to be seen?

I will try to explain how it happens for me. I feel this overwhelming sensation in my body and my default coping is to either ruminate about whatever caused it (my husband, kid, something I regret doing etc. .) Or tell myself off for feeling that way (you shouldn't be angry now. It is unsafe. It will only make things worse etc...) or eat Smile

What I find helpful when I have that sensation is to stop and let myself feel it and than whatever emotion comes up and tries to be seen to have a gentle attitude toward it and welcome it inside. Acknowledge it. And than move on.

I got this from DBT.

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 9:49 am

I feel so disappointed in myself.
How could I do this.
I have tools, I just didn't use them.

It started off with selfishness, neediness and then loneliness, and end up with the food. But now I'm just feeling sorry for myself, and I know if I continue I will turn to the food.

B"H, it wasn't a full binge, only an extra piece of protein.
B"H, I put the tray away when I realized what I was doing.
B"H, I was honest enough to admit what I did wrong.

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 9:56 am

amother wrote:

I have to say that I do not like these kinds of diets. They only make you feel worse. Seriously. An extra piece of protein? ! Were you hungry maybe?

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 11:09 am

amother wrote:

I have to say that I do not like these kinds of diets. They only make you feel worse. Seriously. An extra piece of protein? ! Were you hungry maybe?

That's the thing
If I was hungry, then I may have eaten it guilt free.

I ate it purely for emotional comfort.

B"H, I had the good sense to wrap up the tray and put it away.
I could have easily eaten the leftover 3 pieces and gotten sick.
And then gone on to eat nosh and junk, possibly from the packed up shaloch manos, even if I was super stuffed
I am thankful Hashem gave me the good mind to put it away.

That's why only these types of program work for me.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 11:51 am

Op, you can beat yourself up for eating something extra but what good does that do and how does that help you grow as a person? Think about a child who is first learning how to walk, they will have a hard time getting up on their own and may hold onto something until they are ready to let go and walk on their own. And even when they are walking without holding onto something they still fall. Do they beat themselves up for it? Do they say, forget it, this walking thing is just too difficult, I'm not gonna do it again? No, they get up and start again.

Same with program. Yes its hard at first, you need to hold onto the group and/or your sponsor for support. And you may fall over and over again but that shouldnt stop you from getting up and trying again. And in this case, your main goal is to lose weight which is more difficult than learning how to walk so it will be harder.

What do you think will happen if you decide to give up because its too hard?

Here are some support groups that may come in handy if you feel like you need additional support-- https://iaedpny.com/tristate-t.....num=1

Good Luck!!

amother

Orchid

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 12:52 pm

I'm an emotional eater. I wasn't always this way. At approx age 25 I was finishing off a half gallon tub of ice cream and I realized the ice cream didn't make me feel better. The soft sweet thing in my mouth felt good only so long as it was in my mouth.

That was the last tub of half gallon ice cream for me. I got myself into therapy, where it was safe to let out my emotions. I maintained a healthy weight for many years.

A year ago I was involved in some overwhelming experiences and was able to afford one session a month by phone. I began to overeat, especially at night. I know it isn't true hunger yet I feel compelled to stuff myself .

I wish I could stop but it's an indescribable impulse. The one thing that helps is having a friend to chat with on the phone. Unfortunately, I don't have anyone who's available to speak on the phone at night with me.

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 9:49 pm

amother wrote:

This is where a fellowship is helpful. They encourage you to reach out as much as possible.