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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
Aqua
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 9:55 am
About something they replyed to your post or on your thread and never cared to explain themselves why even if you asked for an expkaination?
I am a very easy going person. I had an ima responding kind of rude to me. I asked why but she didn't address my question.
It might be she has a personal issue with the subject discussed but how on earth would I know?
What bothers me is that since then I don't enjoy reading seeing her posts. I'm sort of nervous that she'll put someone down agian and I donr want to read it.
Anyone had such an experience?
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amother
Denim
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 10:07 am
There are two or three amothers that I avoid to talking to because I think they are obnoxious people but there is no one that I have a personal grudge on.
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amother
Lilac
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 10:16 am
amother wrote: | About something they replyed to your post or on your thread and never cared to explain themselves why even if you asked for an expkaination?
I am a very easy going person. I had an ima responding kind of rude to me. I asked why but she didn't address my question.
It might be she has a personal issue with the subject discussed but how on earth would I know?
What bothers me is that since then I don't enjoy reading seeing her posts. I'm sort of nervous that she'll put someone down agian and I donr want to read it.
Anyone had such an experience? |
past experiences will color future ones - that's how our brains work. Luckily you likley don't interact with this poster IRL, so there is no consequence to her of holding a grudge.... and since its not good for you either... I suggest 'let it go' and ignore that poster's comments.
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FranticFrummie
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 10:36 am
There are a few posters here who I don't agree with 95% of the time. I still read them, because sometimes that 5% is exactly what I needed to hear at that moment.
I never completely write anyone off, because you don't know where they're coming from, or when they will surprise you by saying or doing something really wonderful.
There's also always that chance that they misunderstood you, you misunderstood them, or both. (Most likely, BOTH!)
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amother
Aqua
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 10:41 am
FranticFrummie wrote: | There's also always that chance that they misunderstood you, you misunderstood them, or both. (Most likely, BOTH!) |
That's why I asked. And then, Suddenly, She stopped replying.
Was it because I asked? Was I not allowed to ask? No idea.
We are taking about a long time ima here.
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zaq
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 10:45 am
There's an "ignore" feature that allows one to block posters so that one doesn't see their posts unless quoted by someone else. If this poster distressed you that much, block her. Perhaps she has blocked you. If she is not seeing your posts, she cannot respond to them. It is not worth your head space. Let it go and move on.
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amother
Wine
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 10:46 am
amother wrote: | That's why I asked. And then, Suddenly, She stopped replying.
Was it because I asked? Was I not allowed to ask? No idea.
We are taking about a long time ima here. |
What if she stopped following the thread and never saw future questions?
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FranticFrummie
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 11:25 am
amother wrote: | That's why I asked. And then, Suddenly, She stopped replying.
Was it because I asked? Was I not allowed to ask? No idea.
We are taking about a long time ima here. |
Some imas come and go randomly, disappearing for weeks or months at a time. A lot of it has to do with their work or family obligations, and has nothing to do with the threads on the board.
I always get excited when a favorite ima shows up again, but I'm polite enough not to ask where they've been. If they want me to know, they'll say so.
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amother
Aqua
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 11:45 am
FranticFrummie wrote: | Some imas come and go randomly, disappearing for weeks or months at a time. |
She did not disappear. Posting away on each and every thread I read.
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amother
Denim
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 12:08 pm
zaq wrote: | There's an "ignore" feature that allows one to block posters so that one doesn't see their posts unless quoted by someone else. . |
How do you access the ignore feature?
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zaq
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 12:19 pm
amother wrote: | How do you access the ignore feature? |
Go to your profile. Scroll all the way down till you find "ignore list" . Click on that and then add the user name.
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amother
Aqua
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 12:28 pm
I am not intrested in blocking anyone out. She has some really practical advice lots of time. I just wanted to hear if anyone else feels this way.
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amother
Wine
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 12:33 pm
amother wrote: | About something they replyed to your post or on your thread and never cared to explain themselves why even if you asked for an expkaination?
I am a very easy going person. I had an ima responding kind of rude to me. I asked why but she didn't address my question.
It might be she has a personal issue with the subject discussed but how on earth would I know?
What bothers me is that since then I don't enjoy reading seeing her posts. I'm sort of nervous that she'll put someone down agian and I donr want to read it.
Anyone had such an experience? |
Is she usually a kind poster and this was out of character?
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amother
Aqua
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 12:36 pm
amother wrote: | Is she usually a kind poster and this was out of character? |
Yes. Or maybe I never put to much thought to deshiper the meaning in her posts. maybe she's sarcastic more often but I'm taking it at face value. I don't think so.
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amother
Wine
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 12:37 pm
amother wrote: | Yes. Or maybe I never put to much thought to deshiper the meaning in her posts. maybe she's sarcastic more often but I'm taking it at face value. I don't think so. |
Maybe you could pm her to clear the air? If she's generally kind I'm sure there was some misunderstanding.
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WhatFor
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 12:38 pm
Just for your own peace of mind, know that on an online forum, a lot of people don't realize how their posts are coming across. A poster may think she's making an important, truthful salient point without realizing that someone is taking offense by it. Unfortunately, she cannot see your reaction as she's talking, so she doesn't realize that she needs to reassess what she's saying or rephrase something.
Also, a lot of times a poster can believe she is saying something about an issue, and don't realize that someone is personalizing that issue so she's truly not intending to hurt you.
And of course there are people who wouldn't censor their thoughts anyway in real life either. Some people value what they believe is true over human emotions, so they may believe it's more important to push their truth than pander to someone's feelings. Different personalities.
If I hurt you or anyone on here, then I'm sorry. I'll admit, generally, if someone is amother against the rules (like for no logical reason) particularly if they are giving a highly controversial and possibly "trollish" opinion ("we're allowed to steal from g---im!"or "nashim are kalot"!) it's almost difficult to not do an eye rolling emoticon or call them out.
And I've certainly had long time posters get pretty intense with me, for disagreeing with my opinion as well. I try to tell myself that it isn't personal, they genuinely just disagree with my opinion, and I disagree with theirs, and I move on. (Sorry long time amothers- if it is personal you're going to have to be more explicit, because I'm just not getting it! )
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icebreaker
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 12:41 pm
Nah. I don't even remember who's who most of them time.
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amother
Navy
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 2:03 pm
Yes. Can't say I hold a grudge but someone once replied to me on a thread "LEARN TO SPELL". It was disgusting. I never interacted with her again. I also saw her write a few times nasty posts. Clearly she's just not a nice person.
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amother
Aqua
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 2:08 pm
What for I agree with your post.
I wasn't posting anything like the things you mentioned.
A person asked for help getting back after an ebarrasing blow and I suggested she call a person who helps people build resilience.
One particular poster made a few snarky or sarcastic or you name it comments about my suggestion but did not explain why. I have no idea why.
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amother
Lime
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Tue, Jul 04 2017, 2:28 pm
amother wrote: | I also saw her write a few times nasty posts. Clearly she's just not a nice person. |
Or she may be a basically nice person who like most of us has some bad personality days. Or really has a thing about spelling. From where I stand it looks like you do hold a grudge.
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