Opposite gender sharing bedroom

SRB

Wed, Jul 26 2017, 1:31 am

I have a 3.5 year old boy and 4 month old girl. My DS has his own room and dd sleeps in my room where I plan to keep her for a while longer. When I move her from my room, she will share with my DS. I have a few questions...

1) when should I move her from my room? I had in mind to keep her in my room for at least a year to two. But curious what others do.
2) What are your thoughts on a 4.5 -5 year old boy sharing a room with his 1-2 year old sister? Honestly I don't like it but the only other available room we have is on the first floor across the house - it's too far away. And the other bedroom is occupied by my stepdaughters 19 &18 yrs old (now) - I don't think they want a baby in their room nor do I.
3) If my DS and dd share a room - until what age is developmentally appropriate?

Amarante

Wed, Jul 26 2017, 4:42 am

I would think an infant or toddler is perfectly fine and it would seem that this is a problem that would resolve itself because by the time the infant girl is old enough for it to be an issue, there might be other ways to deal with the situation.

For example, at that point perhaps the two older female children could be moved to the room further away

Or perhaps the boy at that point would then be emotionally able to handle the distance. I assume there is not an actual danger in a child being in the distant bedroom but just the emotional one of having a young child distant from the parents. It would depend on the child and the layout and if the boy is a smidge too young to be on his own in that bedroom at the point where the se*xes should be separated, perhaps you can do a work around with a walkie talkie - would make it exciting for the boy to have "commando" equipment as well as assuring him and the parents of quick communication. Of course, that depends on the comfort level of the boy being moved to that bedroom. Many modern homes are built with a master on the first floor and children's bedrooms upstairs or in a ranch style home, the master is in one side deliberately with children's bedrooms on the other side of the house. This is viewed as desirable because it gives the parents privacy. Of course, in those situations, all children are together but still there would be a time when the first born is there alone or for whatever reason, very young children are distant from their parents. The parents use workarounds and the children don't seem to be afraid, feel emotionally estranged from parents or otherwise suffer from not being in the next bedroom.

SRB

Wed, Jul 26 2017, 7:04 am

Thank you for your ideas. The bedroom downstairs is small, it has a full bath but no closet - it's more like an office space or recreational room. I don't see either stepdaughter moving down there - also for more complicated blended family issues, I don't see one of the older girls moving from their current room (my older stepson, who doesn't live with us any more, moved to the downstairs smaller room when my DS was born so that my DS could use his room and he still blames me for "displacing" him eventhough he offered himself). But perhaps the older girls will be married and out of the house, BH!! Also it's possibly my DS could go downstairs at the point it's an issue, I just don't see that now- he's a very attached child who still runs to my bed every night and I'm not sure about the layout but I'd have to evaluate it then as I don't know what will be.

At about what age would it no longer be appropriate for the opposite gender to share a bedroom (that has a bathroom if that makes any difference)?

little_mage

Wed, Jul 26 2017, 8:45 am

I have a 6 year old son and a 3.5 year old daughter who share a room. They've been sharing since my daughter was about six months, which would have been around my son's third birthday. We are planning to split them up once we move in the next year or so, but we don't have a problem with them sharing.

SRB

Wed, Jul 26 2017, 3:01 pm

Op here. Thank you for all your input! Sounds like it's not a problem to worry about. Yes my stepdaughter live with us fulltime (their mother is nifter) and G-D willing by the time my little ones need to be separated, they should be married and out of the house.

Just as an FYI as to why I'm asking this question is because my cousin adopted a brother and sister, and only had one room for them - the social worker said they would need to have seporate bedrooms at 3 yrs old but I don't know more than that... So it got me wondering about my situation.

Iymnok

Thu, Jul 27 2017, 5:27 am

I think your cousin was given odd advice.
Sometimes social workers have the idea that each child needs their own room, but many children prefer to share for both the comfort and companionship.
This age together should be fine for a good few years. Younger children are often happy with even more in one room. Mine are separated into two rooms only because I have the convenient space and they wouldn't go to sleep if they were all together.