Farrockaway\inwood or lakewood- help me decide

amother

Salmon

Tue, Aug 22 2017, 11:06 pm

We are deciding between the two areas and I am so torn. We are in our low thirties. Dh has a kodesh job. I am from oot and would describe our family as oot as yeshivish. Dh wears black n white, I dont wear jean skirts but I really dont go for all the rules and stuff of in town yeshivish culture. I like when all types live together and are friendly with each other.
I am more familiar with lakewood and I really really dont like the school system there - how the more yeshivish schools are the more elite better name schools. I find that people are extremely into their kids clothing. On a whole though lakewoood is not a wealthy city and my kids wont feel that they are the only ones not going to florida.
Far rockaway or more likely inwood is a friendlier place that does have a very nice mix of types living together. I am nervous though that we will be the most right wing. Sending kids to the area schools does scare me on a materialiatic level because I am a very simple laid back person.
I am confused and can type this post forever but I will stop now. Any words of wisdom is appreciated.

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Aug 22 2017, 11:15 pm

Are you looking to buy or rent? I'm general, far rockaway is way more expensive than Lakewood and inwood. Unless of course you're willing to go to the parts of far rockaway that are not really frum yet.

amother

Babypink

Tue, Aug 22 2017, 11:20 pm

I don't know the inwood community so well per say but I live in the 5 towns/far Rockaway community. My favorite thing about it is that all types of people are in this community from the most rw to opposite and everyone shops in same stores goes to same parks coexists in a nonjudgmental way. As far as being most yeshivish- far Rockaway has many very very frum/yeshivish people so I dnt think you'll stick out. Many people are very simple not everyone is materialistic. However that being said it's undeniable that everything here costs more than in lkwd. Tuition groceries property taxes houses etc. EVERYTHING.
The schools are great imo. Based on your description of yourself you sound like your kids would fit in in bnos bais yaakov and Darchai Torah. Both schools have good reputation.
Maybe you should come for a shabbos and meet some people get a feeling for the community and then you'll be able to make a more informed decision.

Ema of 5

Tue, Aug 22 2017, 11:20 pm

I'm not sure what available here to rent, but Bayswater sounds like exactly what you are looking for. We have a mix of people, and for the most part we all get along. It's close enough to all the local schools and shopping. And I think it's a little bit less expensive than far rockaway proper.

amother

Salmon

Tue, Aug 22 2017, 11:28 pm

amother wrote:

We would buy. I am mainly looking at inwood not far rockaway proper. I wrote them both in the title because the general area is known as far rockaway area....

amother

Blonde

Tue, Aug 22 2017, 11:29 pm

amother wrote:

Based on your description of yourself you sound like your kids would fit in in bnos bais yaakov and Darchai Torah.

TAG would most definitely also be a great option for girls schooling. Nice toradik parent body some very yeshivish klei kodesh type families, some less yeshivish, some just plain frum (which is not really so plain iykwim 😄). There are six classes for every grade which allows the school to create classes where people are comfortable hashkafically.

amother

Babypink

Tue, Aug 22 2017, 11:36 pm

amother wrote:

Oh definitely lol I'm a tag parent myself 😉 And it's a very big mix but based on op description I thought she'd prefer bby but I love tag.

amother

Blonde

Tue, Aug 22 2017, 11:42 pm

amother wrote:

Oh definitely lol I'm a tag parent myself 😉 And it's a very big mix but based on op description I thought she'd prefer bby but I love tag.

I thought TAG from her op because she mentioned not appreciating some parts of the Lakewood school system. TAG is such a breath of fresh air from all that and it's a school with solid hashkafos plus she will find a few classes on each grade level with more yeshivish families where she will be comfortable.

amother

Seashell

Tue, Aug 22 2017, 11:49 pm

I vote for inwood. I live in FR and I happen to love the Inwood crowd. Very nice, down to earth people who are right wing but not "ultra yeshivish" in that they throw it in your face. Theres a lot of live and let live here, and I love it.

I personally send to TAG and am thrilled. I am in a great class with parents like-minded to me and there is a frummer class, more to the left, etc. The hanhala is great and very nice and understanding of different types of people. BBY is also a great school that is supposed to be more right-wing, but really all types go to both schools.

I personally would not be able to deal with the lakewood drama of schools. But some people dont mind and love it there too.

amother

Babypink

Tue, Aug 22 2017, 11:52 pm

amother wrote:

Very true. Good point.

amother

Salmon

Tue, Aug 22 2017, 11:53 pm

Thanks for your replies. Lkwd ppl where are you? I want to hear from both sides. Honestly I am leaning more to inwood. I am much more familiar with lkwd so I know their problems more. I am not saying inwood has any less problems I just dont know them as well. Its easier to jump to the unknown than to known problems. Would you say that the kids clothing scene is more competitive in lkwd than far rockaway areaor not?

amother

Blonde

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 12:03 am

amother wrote:

I've never lived in Lakewood so I don't know what the kids clothing scene is like there. I personally don't feel pressure to dress my kids according to a certain standard. There really is a live and let live attitude here. There are also people who are into name brands, certain looks or styles but interestingly I don't find it to be a culture of that. Like some people are because they are drawn to those things but others don't necessarily feel that pressure. But maybe that's just me.

amother

Babypink

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 7:13 am

I agree with a mother blonde. It depends on your crowd. Majority of my group of friends dress their kids in h&m old navy gap zara etc. other people spend more on clothing and get high end stuff but I dnt feel pressured. Everyone does what they want to do.

But this doesn't really help you as I dnt live in inwood. You should check out the neighborhood and see what you find there. If you move there that's probably where you'd make friends, your kids would be in the same class as the other kids in neighborhood that's who they'll play with on shabbos etc so any pressure would come from there.

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 8:35 am

I lived in far Rockaway and moved to Lakewood.
I vote inwood. Here's why:

You think you're avoiding gashmius competition by coming to Lakewood? Think again. (Some) People here think their toddlers absolutely must have $80 shabbos shoes and $100 shabbos outfits. In far Rockaway, it's more common for people to do their own thing. Here, if you do your own thing you might be looked at as nerdy. (I do my own thing, and I think my neighbor's thing I'm strange.)
There's definitely competition. Ok, so they don't go to Florida during winter break, but there is certainly competition.

But in far Rockaway, the atmosphere was more friendly, inclusive. My Children met people of all stripes, Jews and non Jews, and related to them all as people worthy of respect.
It's near a lot of parks, attractions, the city...
Boys schools there are more open minded. If a boy can't sit and learn or doesn't want to sit and learn after high school but prefers to go to college, they don't write you off. Instead, they work with the kids to show them how to live with Torah Im Derech Eretz. There's a place for every type. Whereas in Lakewood, if your son doesn't fit the box, he would probably have to go out of town.
If you're confident in your hashkafos, I would say inwood is a great option.

amother

Orange

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 8:57 am

I don't know you or Far Rockaway well enough to give advice but as someone who was very burned by the Lakewood school system, if schools are your main concern don't move to Lakewood. Unless you know they will be accepted by a good school that will also be a good fit for your child. And if you move to a development make sure that you are a good fit.

If I could leave Lakewood I would because of the school issue
.
Please be advised that this is coming from someone who was very burnt by the school system. Not everyone feels like me.

I'm Yeshivish. (Husband learned in Brisk for three years and over ten in kollel)

frosting

Wed, Aug 23 2017, 10:11 am

I live in Toms River right outside Lakewood.
It's more affordable here and it has a nice warm oot community feel.
No one here cares what anyone else's kids wear honestly.
We are happy to be able to afford our homes, get along with our non jewish neighbors and have all the conveniences of Lakewood.
We didn't move here to "run away" from the Lakewood system. We are very much apart of it!
I think a lot of what people complain about Lakewood is very self inflicted pressure.
We are very happy here.
Feel free to pm me if you'd like to be in touch.