Public school- should we send?
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Post  Wed, Oct 11 2017, 4:50 am
I think it depends a lot on the child's personality.

Someone who is easily pressured to fit in with the crowd and who has a shaky foundation in his Jewish identity/yiddishkeit would not be an excellent candidate for this plan.
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Post  Wed, Oct 11 2017, 5:47 am
To add to something brought up earlier: it's not necessarily going to be easy for a frum kid to make friends in public school, even if her classmates are all pretty good kids, which is not a given.

Even though I grew up secular, my parents did not think that TV was a good thing for children, and they limited it quite strictly (I watched the occasional documentary). And while I don't think they're wrong, it was very socially isolating, because the latest show, or the latest boy band, was often the main topic of conversation in elementary school.
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Post  Sun, Oct 22 2017, 9:36 pm
OP, it's hard for me to tell you what's better because I've been going back and forth about this topic so many times in my mind. Right now, I'm sending my kids to a yeshiva and by next year we'll have to pay for another child! My solution would be to move to Israel, but my husband doesn't want that, so somehow we'll have to continue paying tuition. It's hard for me to explain, I guess for me sending them to yeshiva is sort of like a jewish identity, not just religious. Growing up in Israel, I never had to think about all of this because I was among jewish friends at school. But now that I live out of E"Y, I feel more "secure" sending them to a jewish school. Yes, I think public schools have really great teachers and the level of science and math is higher. I don't oppose public schools. When my parents moved here, they decided to put me and my brother in a public school because they still didn't have any jobs. I was terrified at first, but then got to know other israeli and jewish friends in that public school. I guess I was always the good girl, so I was never influenced badly.

I know you said you'd try for 1-3 years in public and then send to yeshiva. I'm actually thinking the opposite. Right now I want to continue sending my kids to yeshiva because they're so young and if I put them in public, they'd be so confused and little kids like to copy each other, so I can just imagine them sharing non kosher foods with each other. I feel like once they get older, they'll already understand the religious laws and hopefully will not be influenced badly if they go to public school later on. I'm an example. So I did go to a religious school in Israel and once I move to the US, I was in a public high school and never had any issues with holidays, shabbat, kosher etc... because I was already older and understood the laws. I'm hoping we can afford tuition until hopefully high school, I hear high school yeshiva tuition is higher, so maybe by then I'd send my kids to public, unless we become rich!

Good luck with your choice!
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Post  Sun, Oct 22 2017, 10:07 pm
The school that you are teaching in is clearly not the kind of school you would want your dd to attend when she is older.

Sending her to public school would be many steps lower than where she is in now. You would sacrifice your child to have a little money.
In the olden days parents would do whatever they could to ensure that their children receive a PROPER Jewish education.

What kind of person do you think you daughter would marry if she does not attend a jewish school? What kind of home would she build?

You should be willing to sacrifice what you could to ensure that you raise a bas yisrael. Move to a community where tuition is cheaper? Ask for a scholarship?

Find the school that has the education your heart truly wants and then see if they can help you work something out.
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Post  Mon, Oct 23 2017, 8:04 am
How would the school you teach in feel about you as an employee of you take your child out and put them in public school? You wouldn't be sending a great message to the parent body...
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Post  Wed, Nov 01 2017, 3:18 pm
amother wrote:
If you make aliyah, you can send to public (or very low cost private) school and get a quality Jewish education. What would you be willing to sacrifice for that?

Good point, but making aliyah doesn't necessarily solve the chinuch problem. In fact it could exacerbate it, depending upon your location. Many of the public religious schools, such as some of the Beis Yaakov schools we considered, are apprehensive to accept students from chutz l'aretz. Technically the local Beis Yaakov/Talmud Torah assigned to your area must accept you, but sometimes they get around this by saying they're full or asking you to jump through arbitrarily set hoops (designed to keep you out as someone from cl'a). Several of my friends from cl'a ran into the same issue.

Private schools in Israel, outside of RBS, can be extremely difficult to get into. People commonly get rejected 2-3 times before they finally gain admission.

This situation can really put a strain on trying to adjust to a new country/culture/language, especially if your kids are older and they understand that they are being rejected.
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