Upsherin help! | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

Upsherin help!

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amother

Black

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 12:09 am

My son is turning 3 soon and I want to plan a small upsherin for family. He’s not in school yet so no “friends” to invite (I’m a sahm)
So I’m just wondering.... cuz he is my first.... what exactly is supposed to happen at a upsherin other than cut his hair and put on yarmulka and tzizis
Are their minhagim people have?
Is it common to pay a barber to come to the house?
Who snips off his hair before? Is if just the father and grandfathers or is it everyone like the mother, grandmother, aunts, uncles?
Does it have to be exactly on their birthday or can you push it off a week or two to a convenient Sunday?
What do people serve?
Any cute ideas?

Sorry for all the questions but I am so clueless...help!

boat

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 1:02 am

Yes you can push it off to your convenience although I've always managed to do mine the day of the actual birthday.

You can keep it simple and only give out pekelach and a bit of "tzitzis" cake or go to the opposite extreme with a theme and a hot buffet. Whatever suits you.
Many people will take the child to cheder the next morning where the rebbe will teach the child aleph bais and offer a lick of honey. Make sure to schedule that beforehand.

Good luck, and have fun!

amother

Black

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 7:41 am

Thanks, any other suggestion laddies?

allthingsblue

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 7:53 am

Ask a rav about pushing it off. Once you're doing the minhag, it's worth it to do it properly!
I was due around the time of my son's Upsherin. We asked about doing it another time, and we were told to do it a few days before or after so we did it the Sunday before his birthday.
We had a barber come to the house. It was expensive but worth it! No overwhelmed crying little bit; no need to shlep to the barber on a busy day...
I did not let relatives snip his hair. The thought grosses me out. But they were all there, and watched his haircut and were very proud and happy.

We served pizza, salad and cake. Mini pizzas for the kids.

We did a train theme; my boy is obsessed with trains.

There's no entertainment needed! We did have entertainment but it was for the kids, and you said there won't really be so many kids...

You can do just a color scheme, or alef beis theme, or your son's favorite character or item....

amother

Black

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 10:07 am

Who usually snips the hair before the barber gives the real haircut?

mommy3b2c

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 10:28 am

amother wrote:

Who usually snips the hair before the barber gives the real haircut?

None of this is Halacha. You do whatever you want to do. I believe that by both my older boys, we had my father, mother, husband, myself, my grandfathers, my brothers, and my uncles, cut the hair. By my next sons upsherin I think I will also have my sisters and grandmother cut.

thunderstorm

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 11:04 am

An upsherin is a minhag. Some people do over the top events and others will just cut the kids hair, take them to the rebbe the next day to say the Alef-Beis and give out pekalach. It's up to your budget and your minhag of who does the cutting, when? Night or morning? Etc., some hold child can not see anything tamei until saying the aleph Beis so the child is wrapped in a Tallis over his head so he doesn't see non Jews etc. while going to the cheder.
Some just go to the barber, go chop chop and put tzitzis and a yarmulke on and zehu.

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