Have you ever wondered why Hashem does certain things

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amother

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 11:24 pm

When something good happens to me, I wonder if Hashem made it happen that way because I could not handle the alternative.
When something goes wrong, I wonder if it happened because of something I did wrong, or because I made an ayin harah.
I'm pretty sure the second is true, but sometimes I wonder about the first.

Bzgirl

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 11:29 pm

I once heard someone say: If you ask questions from Hashem, he will say Oh you wanna know, come I'll show you.....Pretty spooky

louche

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 9:02 am

I credit my good fortune to my mother. She would feel really bad if I had a hard time in life. G-d treats me well for her sake.

chocolate moose

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 9:52 am

louche wrote:

I credit my good fortune to my mother. She would feel really bad if I had a hard time in life. G-d treats me well for her sake.

I have an older, preg friend who is afraid to give birth to a special needs child. Shall I tell her that? I feel like I should tell her somethign.

amother

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 10:21 am

How Hashem"treats" you is all in your perspective. You can't tell s/o who is pg that her baby will be fine, nomatter what age, b/c you don't know that for sure.

chocolate moose

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 11:07 am

I DEF can't tell her THAT.

Mevater

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 11:22 am

chocolate moose wrote:

I DEF can't tell her THAT.

Two facts are always true about worry!
1- Most of the things we worry about don't turn out (as bad) as expected.

2- Worry gets you nowhere.

chen

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 12:46 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

I have an older, preg friend who is afraid to give birth to a special needs child. Shall I tell her that? I feel like I should tell her somethign.

Why, has she asked you to tell her anything? Has she been told there is something wrong?

Anything you could say would be a cliche she could easily turn aside. "G-d doesn't give you a test you can't pass". Oh, yeah? what about all the people who commit suicide or go crazy as a result of traumatic experiences? "Everything G-d does is for the best." Exactly how is having a multiply-handicapped child with a life expectancy of 15 "for the best"? "Everything will be fine." So now you're a novi? " Plenty of women over (whatever age she is) have perfectly healthy babies all the time." Right--and plenty of women over (whatever age she is) don't.

About the only thing anyone could say that would be of real value--if sincere--is "I'm davening for you." Besides, of course, for "the amnio/ultrasound/whatever the latest diagnostic test is is 100% normal.

HealthCoach

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 12:50 pm

In our yearly alumni newsletter, one of my teachers wrote that if you worry about something it can cause it to come true. That was really fascinating to me since I'd noticed it on my own before the newsletter came out and wondered if that could be. Now that is how I control my worrying. I feel that if I worry, I cause it to happen.

chen

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 1:04 pm

Little Engine wrote:

That would be the LAST thing I'd say to a worried expectant mother. CH"V anything goes wrong, now in addition to her grief she has to deal with guilt. Wonderful.

chocolate moose

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 1:29 pm

like an ayin horah?

zeldy

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 5:04 pm

Quote:

I feel that if I worry, I cause it to happen.

Nope. Worrying makes me feel like I can handle it if it happens, so I love worrying and most of the time, nothing happens! And if it does, I'm somewhat ready.

chen

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 5:44 pm

zeldy wrote:

Quote:

I feel that if I worry, I cause it to happen.

Nope. Worrying makes me feel like I can handle it if it happens, so I love worrying and most of the time, nothing happens! And if it does, I'm somewhat ready.

that doesn't sound like "worry" to me--that sounds like "concern" and "preplanning", both healthy concepts. As my doctor used to say "are you worried about __________?" and I'd say "not worried, concerned."

Motek

Fri, Aug 24 2007, 12:28 pm

chen - some of what you denigrate as "cliches" are maamarei Chazal

doesn't mean it's the proper thing to quote to someone who is not receptive to hearing it, but true nonetheless

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