naming baby after someone who died early

amother

Thu, May 17 2007, 5:01 pm

I know I should ask a Rav but I wanted to throw it out here as well. We are planning on naming our baby after a family member who died early in life. I heard once that when you do that you are sopposed to add another name to the original name. I soppose so it wont be an ayin harah...has anyone else herad that?

Raisin

Thu, May 17 2007, 5:05 pm

Yes, my father is named Something Chaim after his father who passed away before he was born.

But I have another relative who named their child after a relative who was killed very young and they did not add a name.

cdawnr

Thu, May 17 2007, 5:10 pm

Some people add a name or some people change it.

I met my husband while I was in availus for my father, so I guess he died about 2 years before my son was born, at age 54 from cancer (may he rest in peace). We asked the rav and he said under 60 was considered premature in death and that we shoudl change the name...
His name was Avraham Ephraim Beryl so we first thought Avraham Ephraim Chaim to add the life thing, but umm...well, you read that out loud...I just oculdn't go with the rhyme. So instead we named our son Avraham Ephraim Barak, since Barak has a sense of strength and vitality to it.

Secbeb

Thu, May 17 2007, 6:25 pm

We named my older daughter Chana after my husband's sister who passed away in childhood and added the name Bubbe. We chose this name to add on because my husband had a great aunt named Chana Bubbe and she was named this because her parents had babies before her who were either stillborn or passed soon after birth so they were told by their Rav to add the name Bubbe so that she'd live to be a Bubbe. B"H, she did.

LubavitchLeah

Thu, May 17 2007, 6:34 pm

We had a tragedy in our community. A beautiful young Shaliach left this world in an accident.

I was pregnant and wanted to name my son his name which was after a great Rebbe/Tzaddick.
I was slightly uncomfortable for same reason as you. We named our kid another name following on advice from a Rav.

PIP

Fri, May 18 2007, 10:46 am

Its very important to add a second name in these situations. As a matter of fact, when were naming our daughter Rachel, I was told to add a second name since Rachel Imenu had a very hard life and we dont want our children to have hard lives now do we? so shes our little Rachel Leah Smile

rainbow baby

Fri, May 18 2007, 10:55 am

Of course you should ask your Rav but I also guess it also depends on HOW young the person was when they died and under what circumstances they did died.

ChavieK

Fri, May 18 2007, 4:40 pm

Some peolple hold that if you name after s/o who died young al kidush HAshem you don't need to add a name. I still was uncomfortable & added a name of s/o who lived a long life.

Ruchel

Sat, May 19 2007, 5:42 pm

My grandmother was named after an aunt who died very early (little child). B'h she is now a great grandmother (by the way dd is named after her, since she is Sephardic, the two other people she is named after died around 80 so no concern there).

I am named after my grandmother who died young and b'h I don't have the problems she had. Same for my mother, named after her grandmother who died in the Shoah.

I think I would be more disturbed about naming for someone who had a horrible life than "Just" a young death, but I think I would do it anyway.

I think it helps to see naming as a chain more than just naming after 1 person. Ok maybe your grandma Beila (made up example) had a horrible life and a horrible death, or she was a hardcore atheist, but she is named for her own grandma Beila who lived to 92 and was a very frum woman. See what I mean? The name Beila isn't "soiled", the "problematic" Beila is the exception and not the norm.

su7kids

Sat, May 19 2007, 11:13 pm

with my daughter, we added Chaya at the beginning since she'd named for my husband's mother z"l who passed away at the age of 46.

I did hear that you only have to add a name if you're naming for someone who died as a child, but we added the name and didn't think to ask.

downsyndrome

Sat, May 19 2007, 11:35 pm

I've known all my life that if you name a baby after somone who died young, then you add a name of someone who lived to a ripe old age, sort-of to counteract. My oldest daughter is named after my darling first cousin who died at the age of 32 from breast cancer, leaving behind a husband and six children. We added the name of an ancestor who lived to an old age.

My mother a'h was 71 when she was niftar of cancer, five years ago. We were paskened that a person who has lived for 70 years (and beyond), is already considered having lived a long and full life and therefore we do not have to add any names to that. Hence, my 4-year-old Chani. Smile

(bittersweet)

amother

Sun, Oct 14 2007, 9:15 pm

My grandfather had a twin brother named Joseph who died when he was a year and a half. I had a brother named Joseph after him, and sadly my brother died as an infant. To me, I will never name a child that even if I attach Chaim to it because I believe it's just bad mazal for my family. This was an instance of two people dying very young within a family so that's why I won't touch the name.

shalhevet

Mon, Oct 15 2007, 3:42 am

Please check with a rav who understands these things. Different rabbonim advise different things and some will say not to name at all after someone who died young, even by adding a name, unless it was a parent ch"v. You are affecting your child's future.

I think I once mentioned this but I once saw a supplement in commemoration of Operation Peace for Galillee, printed by a popular Israeli secular newspaper. They brought there the stories of about 10 soldiers who had been killed there and it was a double tragedy for the family, because they had been named in memory of an uncle, cousin etc killed in a previous war. Some were even the same age when killed. Hy"d. Of course, the newspaper didn't make the connection.

yOungM0mmy

Mon, Oct 15 2007, 4:39 am

I was named after my great-grandmother, who died relatively young, while giving birth. However, my parents were told that since she had already had children, she had an everlasting life in those children and their offspring, so they could name me just after her, which they did.

shlumzmum

Mon, Oct 15 2007, 8:41 am

I was named after a grandmother who died early so my parents added rifka to my name. happens to be that my mother had a great grandmother rifka so that means I was named after two grandmothers

chocolate moose

Mon, Oct 15 2007, 12:08 pm

If you don't/can't name after people. you can donate siddurim & chumashim in their name, and give other tzedekeh in their zchus.

a name is not the only want to remember someone.