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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
tf
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Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:52 pm
amother wrote: | When they start blaming me I usually start adding on chores. Ex. I get blamed because no more clean shirts? Perfect, now you'll start doing your own laundry.
But of course it depends on the context. Sometimes I'll fix them with a shocked face and say, Are you really blaming *me* for this?? |
I start with the alarm clock when they try to nudge about going to school on time because they did not wake up early enough
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amother
Purple
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Wed, Dec 05 2018, 10:11 pm
Thank you so much for this thread. I always thought DD 10 had an attitude problem, and it is so reassuring to see that this is universal. What is the reason behind it and how can (should we even? Or is it just normal stuff they outgrow) we help our kids have better middos in this area?
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FranticFrummie
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 4:17 am
amother wrote: | Thank you so much for this thread. I always thought DD 10 had an attitude problem, and it is so reassuring to see that this is universal. What is the reason behind it and how can (should we even? Or is it just normal stuff they outgrow) we help our kids have better middos in this area? |
Many years ago, psychiatrists used to diagnose this as Schitzoaffective Antisocial Personality Disorder.
Neurologists now understand that certain parts of the brain mature at faster rates than others, and it creates a disconnect in their perception of the world. Teens are, by definition, mentally unbalanced, and they will grow out of it.
This is why psychiatrists are so reluctant to give a mental health diagnosis to a teenager. They may mature and level out, or they may not. There's no way to tell. Puberty seems to be it's own particular form of psychosis.
Love, patience, compassion, more patience, and lots and lots of davening! That's really all we can do. (Of course, if you think that there is a serious problem, please have your child evaluated, take parenting classes, and figure out how best to handle things.)
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amother
Ivory
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Wed, Dec 12 2018, 11:36 am
He was saying it in a joking type of way, but I got blamed for him not being able to get up this morning .
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amother
Khaki
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Wed, Dec 12 2018, 11:51 am
This morning my DS ranted all the way to school that it's my fault they're always late for school (this is the third lateness this school year, and every single one was the morning after arriving home after midnight from the airport). Today it was especially my fault because I didn't tell him what time it was, and why should he have to look at his watch?
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bbhem5
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Wed, Dec 12 2018, 12:06 pm
It's my fault that the lovely gel pens someone else bought for DD pop up a bit in their package.
I was silly enough to try to help/ offer suggestions.
My ears are still ringing from the tantrum.
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amother
Ivory
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 12:39 pm
My 8ds blamed me for him choking on the cheese from the pizza I made because I put too much on.
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amother
Ivory
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Thu, Mar 28 2019, 8:56 am
My ds14 couldn't find his yarmulke. Of course it's my fault. (I was somewhat quiet about it and he eventually found it )
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amother
Vermilion
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Thu, Mar 28 2019, 9:04 am
amother wrote: | My ds14 couldn't find his yarmulke. Of course it's 6my fault. (I was somewhat quiet about it and he eventually found it ) |
I got blamed for the cold weather and the lack of Spring temps this morning.
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simba
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Thu, Mar 28 2019, 9:09 am
DS8 was upset that I did not buy him pants that have more belt loops. He had to put his keys, screwdrivers, flashlights,whistle and other paraphernalia that has key rings on his pants and couldn’t have a dedicated belt loop for each. Bad mommy.
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amother
Ivory
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Wed, Nov 20 2019, 6:53 am
There was more to the story, but it’s my fault if my ds forgets something according to him.
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amother
Brown
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Wed, Nov 20 2019, 6:56 am
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amother
Ivory
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 7:01 am
We went to a please touch museum and since I was trying to explain the things to my 9 year old, it’s my fault he had a lousy time. Mind you, he was smiling almost the whole time and I got injured twice. After we went to buy him something and it was my fault he couldn’t decide.
My 12 year old couldn’t find his watch that he took off for shabbos and guess what? It was my fault! It also happened to have been my fault that I found it . It was on the shelf where it made sense for him to have left it.
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amother
Orchid
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 8:51 am
this thread is making me feel better. My dh claims that the reason I get blamed is because I don't parent orrectly and don't stop it. basically I get blamed for getting blamed!
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amother
Salmon
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 11:19 am
I don't have any teenagers, but I have a 3 year old, and that counts.
He came into our room this morning crying that I woke him up.
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bbhem5
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Tue, Mar 17 2020, 11:57 pm
It's my fault that the library closed due to social distancing regs and DCs can't replenish their reading supply especially when they are home from school anyway because of Corona! It's also my fault that my younger dd won't have made a Haggadah in school this year.
It's my fault that older DD ate too much carbs for supper, because I was so evil as to cook spaghetti. The fact that I also prepared meatballs, salad, and roasted veggies (and am, I admit, really proud of myself for making such a good meal!) is immaterial.
It's my fault that the seltzer is too fizzy. Even though I bought my family's preferred brand. Younger DD explained in a very irritated voice that she does NOT want another brand. She wants this brand to be less fizzy. And she wants to be the first to open the new bottle.
It's my fault that the phone rang for older DD just when younger DD was deciding to make a call.
Apparently I'm very powerful!
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