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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
amother
Plum
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Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:26 pm
Works 40 hours a week
watches youngest at home, older kids only when off from school or home sick
Washes dishes, changes linen, kids laundry, etc.
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Surrendered
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Wed, Dec 05 2018, 7:50 pm
An inexpensive gift with a few nice words from the heart goes a long way. You're paying her, no need to tip.
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amother
Blue
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Wed, Dec 05 2018, 7:55 pm
Surrendered wrote: | An inexpensive gift with a few nice words from the heart goes a long way. You're paying her, no need to tip. |
I disagree. Full time employees often get a holiday bonus this time of year. In terms of how much? Can't say.
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pesek zman
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Wed, Dec 05 2018, 8:03 pm
amother wrote: | I disagree. Full time employees often get a holiday bonus this time of year. In terms of how much? Can't say. |
I’ve heard people give a week’s salary
Yes, that’s a a lot.
This is why I can’t afford help and why daycare is cheaper for me
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hello 1
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Wed, Dec 05 2018, 8:41 pm
I did 1/2 week last year. She was very happy.
I plan on doing the same this year.
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amother
Turquoise
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Wed, Dec 05 2018, 11:17 pm
Surrendered wrote: | An inexpensive gift with a few nice words from the heart goes a long way. You're paying her, no need to tip. |
They definitely expect money, I give it along with some chocolate. Half a weeks pay is a good ballpark if u can afford it but any robs number is nice (25/50/100/150 etc)
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amother
Ginger
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 4:28 am
I have gave half a week's salary along with a nice thank you note.
She was very appreciative.
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amother
Violet
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 4:59 am
A weeks salary is what is customary - or if a person works for you for a day each week or every other week, customary is to give them that amount as a gift.
I really don't have sympathy for those who say it's too expensive because the cost of gifts is really just a part of the actual cost of hiring someone to clean your house or perform other personal functions. This is just as standard as tipping the person who cuts your hair 15% or 20% of the bill. If you can't afford the service plus the expected gratuity or gift then don't use the service.
For those who say their help appears grateful, what would you expect them to say or do except thank you. Certainly they are not going to tell you that you are a cheap person. :-)., If you are in a position where people are giving you gifts, do you actually tell them they are cheap if their gifts are not what is appropriately expected?
With other types of people like teachers, it's not considered to be standard so a small token of gratitude is all that is necessary or considered to be normal. My mother was a teacher and had no expectation of gifts from her students and certainly not money so the equivalent of a Starbucks gift card or nice soap would be beyond her expectations.
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simcha2
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 5:18 am
Surrendered wrote: | An inexpensive gift with a few nice words from the heart goes a long way. You're paying her, no need to tip. |
Please don't do this.
One to two weeks salary is the norm.
It's a lot, but you are showing your hakaras hatov and less has the potential to perpetuate stereotypes. (Jews are tight with money).
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flowerpower
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 5:57 am
Until Imamother I never heard of giving a full weeks salary as a bonus. Who made up this “rule”?
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amother
Lemon
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 6:08 am
One week salary for a valued employee who has been with you at least several months. A newer employee, or someone I wasn’t so keen on keeping, I’d give only half.
Curious, why do I see people keep calling it a tip. It isn’t. It’s a holiday gift.
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amother
Amethyst
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 6:14 am
delete
Last edited by amother on Sat, Jan 02 2021, 8:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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dancingqueen
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 6:26 am
Yes a weeks wages is standard.
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amother
Plum
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 6:35 am
Thanks for all the replies! Last year I gave $200 and was told by several that I was way too generous so I wanted to see what others think.
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amother
Taupe
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 6:40 am
The members of my family all work in different types of jobs. Some get holiday bonuses some don’t. Those who do get a bonus have never gotten a weeks salary and not even half a week. Where do people come up with these “rules”. (50-150 was the usual)
Give her what you think is best and what you can afford.
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amother
Blonde
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 8:13 am
I definitely don't get a week's salary bonus from work holiday time.
I give what I can which is usually about 40% of her salary. And sometimes I am able to add a gift to that.
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nchr
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 8:19 am
amother wrote: | I definitely don't get a week's salary bonus from work holiday time.
I give what I can which is usually about 40% of her salary. And sometimes I am able to add a gift to that. |
40% of her salary? There must be a typo here. That's over 20 weeks pays.
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amother
Blonde
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 8:21 am
nchr wrote: | 40% of her salary? There must be a typo here. That's over 20 weeks pays. |
40% of her weekly pay.
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simcha2
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 9:28 am
flowerpower wrote: | Until Imamother I never heard of giving a full weeks salary as a bonus. Who made up this “rule”? |
It's made up, in the same sense that tipping 15-20% at a restaurant is a made up rule. It is not written down, but it is the general expectation in American society and not adhering to that expectation makes you seem cheap.
You should also be giving holiday gifts to the school bus driver, garbage man and mailman.
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nchr
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Thu, Dec 06 2018, 10:20 am
simcha2 wrote: | It's made up, in the same sense that tipping 15-20% at a restaurant is a made up rule. It is not written down, but it is the general expectation in American society and not adhering to that expectation makes you seem cheap.
You should also be giving holiday gifts to the school bus driver, garbage man and mailman. |
Gardiner, janitor, ups, fedex, Etc. So federal employees (mailmen) are not supposed to accept more than $20, but I give my mailman $100 and he goes out of his way for me throughout the year and $50 for the other mailman (not regular). Garbage guys get $50 each plus tips ($10-20) throughout the year if I have a lot of garbage. Kids bus driver gets $100. Everyone else gets $25 and I have a card and small gift that goes with it or without money for other ppl like grocery clerk, gas station attendant, etc.
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