Overcoming the Need for Revenge

amother

Cyan

Tue, Dec 18 2018, 9:22 pm

I have a similar issue with my 7 year old daughter. She sees everything as black and white. She can't say I'm sorry or even accept an apology from anyone. She does not understand that accidents happen. If a sibling bumped into her it must be because he wanted to hurt her. If someone does something by accident, bumps into her, breaks or throws away something she made etc., she will hit without warning . She is always demanding that I punish her siblings and can't understand that rules apply to all the children equally. (I should punish sis for hitting her, but she is exempt from punishment for the same actions.)
We are working on her black and white thinking with speech and aba therapy. One thing I do is that when she comes to me crying with complaints about another kid, I try to focus on how we can make her feel better. (Will a kiss or hug make you feel better? What about a treat? Let's get you an ice pack...) This way, I hope I'm training her to take care of herself and not to need the other child punished to make her feel better.

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Dec 18 2018, 9:27 pm

With my two boys I see the weaker one older one used to not fight back, to his younger stronger aggressive bro. Now I see he fights back. I hate when they fight, either one but at least he's starting to stick up for himself, instead of letting himself be beaten up constantly like a poor sheep.