Should we take the chance for a better life?

amother

Thu, May 23 2019, 12:58 pm

Wwyd: We live in a small apartment with a few kids. We are looking to move to a house/bigger apartment but in a different city. The problem is dh has a good job (great benefits)but its a dead end job. And we dont know what his next job will be.
The question is would you move with no job, no insurance but have a house/bigger apartment or stay where you're at with a smoke filled small apartment (complained to landlord. He doesnt care) but have a source of income and health insurance. And be able to save money?
I don't think we would be able to get on government programs and would really not like to use if dont need it. And Dh has been applying to jobs and might have to take a significant pay cut. We obviously would love if he got a job before we move. Our lease is about to end and so we need to figure this out. And we do have a small savings we can be ok for a few months.

amother

Brown

Thu, May 23 2019, 12:59 pm

Is it possible to move and DH should stay with his job? How far will the move be?
Any new job he will take he probably will be starting with a lower salary. He has to prove himself before they raise his salary.
If the pros outweigh the cons, you should go for it.

octopus

Thu, May 23 2019, 1:01 pm

It doesn't sound like you have a healthy place to live currently. What good is health insurance if you or your kids develop health problems from your current place. Its a very scary thing to move without a job in place but it sounds like you are between a rock and a hard place. I would say to take the plunge.

amother

Thu, May 23 2019, 1:07 pm

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

Somthing we are considering but the move would be very far. We are also considering that dh stays where he is currently and the kids and I move and set up the new place. And then find a new job during that time and not be so rushed. Just it feels silly because we would pay 2 rents or 1 rent and 1 mortgage.

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, May 23 2019, 1:12 pm

Can you move to a bigger or better apartment where you are now?

How long will you be able to live without income if it takes a while for your DH to find work? Will you be able to afford to pay COBRA, tuition, first/last/security deposit on a rental (or down payment on a purchase -- which I would not advise in any case, until you're familiar with the area). What if the job search takes 6 months, which is not unusual outside of retail.

Would you be able to afford all of these things with the significant pay cut you mention.

What are the benefits worth? (Eg, a NYC DOE job comes with very nice -- depending on your tier -- retirement benefits. You don't need as much in savings if you're getting a $40,000 a year pension on retirement.)

(What about your job?)

mha3484

Thu, May 23 2019, 1:19 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My friend did this almost a year ago and her husband is still commuting. They thought it would be temporary and he would allowed to tele commute but his employer wont go for it and jobs in his field are hard to find where they moved to. Be careful and dont assume that its a short term solution.

Rubber Ducky

Thu, May 23 2019, 1:25 pm

We did this 20 years ago. We were living in Los Angeles, and DH made a pilot trip to Baltimore. Although he didn't find a job at that time, he did find it easy to get temp work. After he came back, we packed up the kids and headed east in our car. Somewhere around Indiana, DH got a call from a headhunter for what turned out to be his first job in Baltimore.

Sometimes you just have to plunge into the water. I wish you much hatzlacha whatever you decide.

amother

Thu, May 23 2019, 1:26 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

Its hard to find a bigger place and it would be super expensive. We could afford to live a few months. Dh has a white collar job. I am currently a stay at home mom but have experience being a secretary.
I honestly think we should just move. But dh is more nervous then me.

cuffs

Thu, May 23 2019, 1:48 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I dont think it's safe to move if dh doesn't have a proper job set up in the new place your moving. Debt is serious and can cause lots of shalom bayis issues and other stresses. Can you renew your lease for 6 months? And dh has that time to look for a new job. Once you know your moving it will make the last few months in your apartment easier. It just sounds really not good to me to move without a new income. And your dh traveling, I've heard too many stories about that difficulty. Good luck making these decisions.

amother

Tan

Thu, May 23 2019, 4:13 pm

I work in a dead end job. It's not fun, but I stay for the flexibility. I'm the breadwinner. Plus it's a decent salary and benefits. It's not fun, but the tradeoffs are worth it.

I think in your case, the tradeoffs are worth it too. I would try to find another job in the new community, but I really wouldn't leave until I got one. Don't give up a good job with good benefits until you find one that you are satisfied with. There is no guarantee that you will get another one right away.
I would get out of the apartment to get away from the smoke. Even if it's to another small apartment

yo'ma

Fri, May 24 2019, 8:28 am

I really don't know what to say, but I do know that staying where you are, you for sure won't get anywhere. It's hard when you have a family, but sometimes you have to take the plunge. It's all in hashems hand. Hatzlacha with whatever you decide to do and you should be matzliach.

amother

Mistyrose

Fri, May 24 2019, 8:35 am

As a child, my father had to work out of town and came home every second shabbos. After that half a year they decided it was unhealthy and we moved. Til today (15 years later) my mother tells anyone thinking about it that it's the worst thing for your marriage and children.

OOTforlife

Fri, May 24 2019, 8:41 am

It's typically much harder to get a job when unemployed, especially for professionals. Some hiring managers will screen out such resumes from the get go. And even if he gets the job, the employer may feel they have all the leverage and be more likely to lowball your husband on compensation.

I don't think your husband should quit his job until he gets another one, barring extreme circumstances.