5 year old doesn't want to go to school

proudmomma ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2019, 5:33 am

My 5 year old pre1A daughter keeps complaining that she doesn't like school. She says some girls are mean to her, embarrass, and hurt her.
I already called the Morah who said she would keep an eye out. It's a pretty big class & I'm sure these girls are smart enough to wait until the Morah is otherwise occupied.
I also feel that my daughter is super sensitive. She will tell me about every little bump / scratch that happens to her- sometimes 30 times in a day!!
What can I do to help her? It breaks my heart to see her sad & at this age she should be loving school.
Thanks!

amother

Sienna

Wed, Oct 23 2019, 5:49 am

Build her self esteem
Are there girls “karate” or something similar by you
These types of sports teach self esteem respect and when all else fails self defense both verbal and non verbal

southernbubby ↓

Wed, Oct 23 2019, 6:00 am

Have her evaluated and maybe get her some therapy for anxiety. The kids are picking up on it and picking on her for it. There are also books on how to play act social scenarios that kids encounter so that they feel more prepared to handle them.

↑ proudmomma

Wed, Oct 23 2019, 6:19 am

southernbubby wrote:

I've been thinking of having her evaluated. Should I call the principal or take her somewhere outside of school?
Thanks for taking the time to answer.

↑ southernbubby

Wed, Oct 23 2019, 6:40 am

proudmomma wrote:

I've been thinking of having her evaluated. Should I call the principal or take her somewhere outside of school?
Thanks for taking the time to answer.

Depends on your location. In some places it is covered by medical insurance and the pediatrician needs to refer you and in other places the school district evaluates and treats and the school district could tell you how to go about it. I am not sure how helpful the principal is in your school or if the principal is the right person to talk to in any school.
Obviously if you are able to pay out of pocket then you can go wherever you want.

amother

Seashell

Wed, Oct 23 2019, 10:45 am

It never hurts to role play conflict strategies and work on self esteem or to get needed therapy.

But it's also important to figure out what is actually happening. If multiple other girls are deliberately and actively picking on your daughter (verbally making fun of her, taking her things, telling other kids not to play with her, imitating her and laughing, etc.), it's simply not realistic to expect a 5 year old to function happily and healthily in such an environment, even if she's a completely well-adjusted even-tempered child.

If your daughter can give you some specifics and the teacher is willing to be helpful, then you can try to get to the bottom of what is happening. If it's not a bullying situation, but more that other girls don't enjoy playing with her, there may be a development/maturity gap and maybe she would do better socially in the grade below. But if they're going out of their way to deliberately mistreat her and the school is indifferent, I don't think you'll be able to resolve it by "fixing" her.