Sadness and your neshama

amother

Mon, Jan 20 2020, 2:23 pm

I remember some Rav saying, somewhere, that sadness is a sign that your neshama isn't doing what it's supposed to be doing. I'm not smart like most of the women here, so I can't dig up a gemara source or what have you, but it always made sense. I don't think he meant real depression - that's different. I think he means a lingering sadness.

And here I am, turning 40, and I'm not going to have any more children, and there's something so sad about that to me. Is that my neshama being sad? Am I supposed to keep trying and risk having a mentally disabled child? Or is it all just part of life? I don't know what I'm supposed to do with these feelings of sadness.

Also, my children keep asking me for another, and a part of me wonders if there's something more to it or is it wishful thinking.

amother

Linen

Mon, Jan 20 2020, 3:26 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don’t think he meant sad in the way you’re interpreting it (being sad about a life event that’s sad is a good reason to be sad). I believe he meant more that it feels like an emptiness. I heard a rabbi speak about that, specifically if you feel empty and unfulfilled it means you’re not using your G-d given talents and abilities to fulfill your mission.

Zehava

Mon, Jan 20 2020, 3:59 pm

You need to grieve
You need to mourn the fact that your birthing years are over. You need to just be sad for a little while, without pushing those feelings away. It’s okay to be sad when a chapter in life closes. Whether or not you risk another pregnancy you will have to go through this stage at some point.