Single mom - really depressed

amother

Sun, Jul 19 2020, 8:48 pm

I’m going through a divorce and have had my children 100% of the time since pandemic hit, which I’m really grateful for, but I’m also beyond depressed and burned out. Ex has not been providing child support so I’ve been going nuts trying to earn extra in order to cover everything (this is being addressed in court - it’s just really hard since ex also is struggling financially). I am being denied my get, which is affecting my self esteem because obviously men don’t want to date me. Hopefully this is coming soon, but it’s been over a year. I don’t really have friends I can reach out to to vent, and can’t afford my normal therapist. My kids are in pain over the separation from their dad and I don’t know how to help them. One is in therapy, BH. I just feel stressed and lost and without any support, and I can’t go see my family in another state because it’s not safe to do that right now. I want to feel better but am just kind of isolated and sad. Please don’t tell me to daven because that doesn’t help me. Not sure what the point of this post is. I just don’t know who to turn to.

amother

Azure

Sun, Jul 19 2020, 8:51 pm

Hugs OP! That must be so hard for you! hopefully you'll get your get soon and you'll be able to visit your family members.
are you eligible for unemployment benefits? maybe that can help you financially. have you gotten some food boxes? maybe that can also help with grocery bills, etc.
Hope you try to take some time for yourself to relax exercise or do things you like... Hatzlacha with everything! I really feel for you!!!

amother

Slategray

Sun, Jul 19 2020, 8:53 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So sorry. I’m also still waiting for civil divorce (7 years) got a get after 5 years and kids with me since pandemic started. I’m just grateful for that. Do you belong to sister to sister?

amother

Pink

Sun, Jul 19 2020, 9:02 pm

I'm sorry you are going through this OP and I hope it gets better. You are allowed to be upset, sad or depressed, its a difficult time. You don't have to change it if you can't right now. Accept that Hashem is giving you a trial right now and do your best to get through it. It always comes in waves and you have to get through the bad times to get to the good times. You don't have to do anything but get through what comes your way right now. Just do what you can to get through- posting to vent is a perfectly acceptable way to relieve stress- it will get better eventually.

amother

Sun, Jul 19 2020, 9:06 pm

I don’t think I’m eligible for unemployment since I do make a meager salary. I do get food boxes.

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

amother

Sun, Jul 19 2020, 9:49 pm

I just went on sister to sister. They want a lot of very specific personal info - I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that. :-/ thank you anyway for the recommendation!

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you.
How do you pull yourself out of a funk? I exercise, I read....but at the end of the day It’s me alone with my own thoughts.

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Jul 20 2020, 7:12 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Hi op!
Wow you are really going through a rough time.
There is an organization that can help you cover therapy costs.
As a single mom, I can say that therapy is sssoooo important. Your kids as well will benefit. By helping yourself you are helping them.
Also Sister to sister can really be of assistance to you in sssoooooo many ways. all the info you give is totally confidential.
You deserve to thrive. You are a strong and capable person. Take care of yourself!

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Jul 20 2020, 7:21 am

I know 2 different divorced women who gained tremendously from Sister to Sister. There were weekend getaways, gifts for children, advice etc.
It’s a legitimate organization run by frum women as a support for frum women going through divorce.
I think you would gain if you could be a part.

amother

Brunette

Mon, Jul 20 2020, 7:47 am

So sorry Op.
Cannot even imagine.

sister to sister is great but not for everyone

you have to see what works best for you

hopefully you can see your family either they can come to you or you can go to them and gain more support and respite soon

I would try hard to find places for more support. Are there well facilitated jewish frum divorced women support groups on zoom? can you reach out to jfcs or other organizations to see if they could organize if haven't already? other ways to get much needed support?

Are your kids able to be back in camp? sometimes seemingly little things can help and take the edge off, even good acappela upbeat music...

Can you ask your therapist if she can give you a reduced price at this time? Or recommend anything?

Hope things get better fast!

hugs and hatzlocha

amother

Mon, Jul 20 2020, 8:51 am

Thank you for all the advice and support!

amother [ Brunette ] wrote: