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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
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amother
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 Sun, Oct 18 2020, 7:07 pm
What's the best thing to help a child learn how to finish projects? When you notice that they didn't finish do you say come sweetie let's finish together? Or do you leave it alone and let them learn for next time.
14 year old dd spent time making baked goods that she wanted. They are laying out on a cookie sheet for 4 hours. Do I leave them alone and if they are hard tomorrow morning she'll learn, or do I remind her that she didn't finish?
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Cheshire cat
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Sun, Oct 18 2020, 7:12 pm
I would remind her, but let her take care of it on her own.
A forgetful kid has more than enough opportunities throughout the day to mess up. Please be kind and help out by providing gentle background structure when you can.
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hodeez
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Sun, Oct 18 2020, 7:19 pm
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Remind her and then if she still doesn't finish, it's on her.
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avrahamama
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Sun, Oct 18 2020, 7:33 pm
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I'd remind her but also guide her to making it happen. "You left the cookies out. When will you do the next step?" In a nice nonjudgmental way. But definitely reminding her that she needs a call to action.
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seeker
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Sun, Oct 18 2020, 7:54 pm
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What would you hope your family members would do for you if you accidentally left out something you'd worked on?
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amother
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Sun, Oct 18 2020, 8:00 pm
| seeker wrote: | | What would you hope your family members would do for you if you accidentally left out something you'd worked on? |
It's happened many times so I was wondering if I was doing something wrong and she should figure it out herself.
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seeker
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Sun, Oct 18 2020, 8:14 pm
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Ah, I see. What have you said/done in the past? Does this happen every time, or just often?
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amother
OP
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Sun, Oct 18 2020, 8:19 pm
| seeker wrote: | | Ah, I see. What have you said/done in the past? Does this happen every time, or just often? |
Every time. In the past I've said come sweetie let's put away the cupcakes so they don't get hard. Or I'd notice it after she was sleeping and put it away myself.
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seeker
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Mon, Oct 19 2020, 12:35 am
Yeah so a reminder followed by letting her experience the natural outcome of whatever she does next. Depending on her general level of impairment and independence I personally wouldn't even bother with the "come sweetie" part but it sounds like you're a nicer person 
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