Is this funny or inappropriate?

amother

Mauve

Fri, Dec 11 2020, 2:18 pm

zaq wrote:

Not funny if your dh is older than six.

Right. It's immature and childish. I wouldn't say so inappropriate because it's in the house in front of his kids, but it's definitely immature.

amother

Chartreuse

Fri, Dec 11 2020, 3:17 pm

would he think it funny if the kids start doing it too?

pants falling down and exposing underwear is far different and more suggestive than someone walking around in shorts and a T

sorry op I think you know this and don't want to rub it in

sorry I just find this truly bizarre and not ok all the more so with teenagers

good luck

Cookin4days

Fri, Dec 11 2020, 3:29 pm

It doesn’t matter what we think, if the kids find it funny then it’s funny if it makes them uncomfortable then you should discuss with Dh on stopping. I don’t see anything here inappropriate it’s just his shtick he does to make them giggle.

Tzippy323

Fri, Dec 11 2020, 3:37 pm

Totally inappropriate! I grew up in a house wear my father walked around without any pants, just boxers. And there was no flap! It was horrible and my mother could never get him to stop. It bothered me and my sister terribly, especially as we grew older. He never did anything intentionally, this was just him wanting to be comfortable in his own house. But regardless of age 9f kids, gender 9f kids, or age of DH, it is never, never appropriate, and who knows how his own children will behave down the road.

amother

Burlywood

Fri, Dec 11 2020, 4:45 pm

If my DH was doing that on a regular basis, I’d feel concerned enough to check the computers browser history. Especially if that’s the only “funny” thing he’ll try to do. If he’s a practical joker in other ways too, then I wouldn’t be as concerned.

FranticFrummie

Sat, Dec 12 2020, 10:56 am

Like every other joke, it's funny the first time. After the 100th time, it's beyond tiresome and annoying.

Even if your kids never say anything, and force a chuckle, I'm pretty sure that they find it awkward. I'd err on the side of caution, and spare your kids feeling like that about their father.

My dad has an excellent sense of humor, and he can be very goofy at times. Still, I have never so much as seen him in pajamas and a bath robe. He never leaves the bedroom without being fully dressed. (Granted, he didn't have to walk past my room to get to the bathroom, so maybe he did come out in his pajamas. I just never saw it.)

I've only seen my mom in floor length nightgowns with long sleeves, and that's only if she had to get up in the middle of the night. She was also very funny, and made great puns (clean humor only.)

My parents are not frum, they just came from a generation that had a sense of decency and dignity about them. If they wanted my sister and me to grow up with a feeling for modesty, they had to set an example - and I have deep respect for that.

People don't need to be nearly naked to be funny. We laughed until we couldn't even breathe more times that I can count. It's called using your intelligence to create humor.

amother

Sapphire

Sat, Dec 12 2020, 3:43 pm

This is super triggering to the sx abuse I went through as a child. This is literally how he got me and other kids to feel comfortable around his body and that area. By doing shitck like this and making it seem normal.

ora_43

Sat, Dec 12 2020, 5:01 pm

Being in boxers around his own kids is not inappropriate.

Turning "hur dur I'm in boxers" into a stupid gag that he keeps pulling because he finds it funny, regardless of how unfunny I'm sure it is to everyone else, is deeply inappropriate.

... How are the kids reacting to this? If they feel like they have to force a laugh so he won't act hurt, or if he keeps doing it even though they ask him not to, for me that would be in red-flag territory. Like, sit the wildly immature DH down and have a Serious Talk about how he needs to stop this nonsense yesterday territory. And even - I hate to say it, but better safe than sorry - keep an eye out for any other way he might be crossing their boundaries, not necessarily abuse-level, but just... boundary-ignorance.

OTOH, if they find it funny ( Surprised

) or if they just roll their eyes and ignore him, I'd be less concerned (except, maybe, about their senses of humor).