S/o can *I* be helped to dress better?

amother

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 5:29 pm

I look like a shlump. Beginning and end of the story.

Middle of the story:

I'm nursing. So can't wear dresses.
Never lost the baby weight from 3 kids ago so I am perpetually 3-5 months pregnant.
Not proportionally fat. I'm lumpy.
I have an aversion to dry cleaning.
All of my clothes need to be stretchy and comfortable and easy to put on and nurse in.
DH doesn't like short skirts or shirts that call excessive attention to the bust.
Tznius is not one of my main challenges so I don't want to make it one by getting borderline clothes.
I have bad feet so can't wear most cute shoes.
Not a high budget but DH feels it's important for me to have decent clothes so we would make it work.

Is there any hope for me?

amother

Trillium

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 5:40 pm

Not exactly the same, but definitely can relate.

I also wish I could dress better but feel like I just don’t look good in anything because of my weight gain and especially my big tummy.

Dressed don’t work because I have small shoulders - and get bigger as I go down. So I can’t imagine any size would for me.

Open to ideas but not hopeful.

amother

Apricot

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 5:57 pm

There are countless frum women with your body type!!
Go into a frum store and ask for help. For some ppl waisted works for others a-line...
For me I know to avoid soft materials because they define my folds more. I go with a stiffer/thicker material and fitted. When I wear loose/flared dresses I look 6 mos pregnant. Others find that loose dresses camouflage better.

Once you find the styles that suit you best half the work is done.

You might find dolman tops work well for weekday. You get plenty of space on top and then it gets more defined so you get a bit of everything....

amother

Gray

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 6:01 pm

Waisted usually does not look good on anyone but skinny people.

Go for long cardigans. Those look sharp with a pencil skirt. Or any straight skirt.

Cute sneakers or booties can definitely dress up any look.

amother

Burntblack

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 6:03 pm

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

What does one do when the styles that suit them best are the most uncomfortable?

amother

Natural

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 6:53 pm

Of course there's hope, if you're realistic and don't expect to look like a model, just the best YOU can be.

Consider going to a big dept. store and consulting a personal shopper. Tell her your priorities, budget, likes and dislikes and have her look for items that fit the bill and will best suit YOU. Choosing a flattering color alone makes a big difference, before you even address style and fit, but fit is also an important factor. Judicious alterations can make all the difference between looking like a shlump and looking sleek. Even something as "insignificant" as the width of a collar, sleeve or lapel can make you look pounds slimmer or dumpier.

Buy things that suit who you are NOW, not the you you wish you were and promise yourself you will be six months or thirty pounds from now.

amother

Natural

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 7:01 pm

amother [ Trillium ] wrote:

Dressed don’t work because I have small shoulders - and get bigger as I go down. So I can’t imagine any size would for me.

Open to ideas but not hopeful.

Professional alterations are the solution. I used to buy clothes at a place, sadly long out of business, that did extensive alterations. The things I bought there were pricey but fit like a dream, because they'd let out the waist, shorten the bodice, take in the shoulders, shorten the sleeves... things I didn't even know needed to be done.

Or you could find a dressmaker and have dresses made from scratch to your measurements.

SG18

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 7:02 pm

It seems like dresses would work best for your body type. I'm nursing and often wear dresses. Either nursing dresses, or wrap dresses with a cropped shell underneath.
Very forgiving on the postpartum body and comfortable.

my mama

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 7:17 pm

Hair, shoes, and bag should be your primary focus. If those look put together that is an automatic advantage. Long cardigans, blazers, and wrap dresses are your friend.

Cute booties and sneaker shoes are also a great trendy look.

Don't overaccessorize. Layering several smaller pieces is the way to go now.

Cute earrings and a made-up face, if that is your look. Either way make sure your eyebrows are neat, they frame your entire face.

And if you choose a spritz of perfume or a scented lotion to make you feel all prettied up.

Last edited by my mama on Mon, Mar 21 2022, 7:17 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Teal

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 7:17 pm

If you’re willing to spend, go to a frum store and ask for help from one of the salesgirls. Go at a quiet time , a weekday morning if you can.

amother

Natural

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 7:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have bad feet so can't wear most cute shoes.

G-d grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change. Long ago, I made my peace with the fact that I'm doomed to wear lace-up oxfords--and not any laceup oxfords, but one particular style from one particular manufacturer. I just don't look at my feet when I try on clothing.

amother

Trillium

Wed, Mar 23 2022, 4:50 pm

My mama,
I love your ideas:

Can you recommend a nice bag? Maybe some links?

Booties are only for fall/winter right? For now it would have be sneaker shoes?

I wish I had someone to “outfit” me

Thank you!

my mama

Wed, Mar 23 2022, 6:02 pm

amother [ Trillium ] wrote:

Sadly the boots/booties season is over and it's time for sneaker shoes. If you don't mind flats, knit shoes like everlane or rothy's are also trendy and comfortable.

What sort of bag are you looking for? Designer or just something pretty? What are you looking to spend?