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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Bar Mitzvah ideas



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Sep 12 2022, 2:12 am
My son is 11, heading towards 12. He's had some mild-to-significant special needs his whole life, but he's a smart kid, but he's had speech issues and a diagnosis of ADHD.

B"H he's come SOOO far and I think his medication is under control

Here's the dilemma
1)I think if he practices/studies enough he could lein but my husband only wants to teach him if he wants to learn and he doesn't want to pay someone to do it--he's a baal koreh.

2)If he doesn't--it's ok, but I don't want my husband giving up on him. I just want him to feel good about his choices.

3)What else can he do? He's only just starting to learn gemara (that's the way his school does it)I know that this should be on my husband, but I need to get the two of them on the same page.
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amother
Eggplant


 

Post Mon, Sep 12 2022, 2:32 am
Is your son interested in leining? Can you teach it to him as a skill to have in his back pocket, as opposed to a Bar Mitzvah performance? Once he knows the trop and the rules, he can choose to practice his sedra or not.

DH is also a Baal Korei, he tends to teach our sons younger, so there's no Bar Mitzvah pressure. One son enjoys leining very much, the other mostly uses it for Haavaras Hasedra.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 12 2022, 5:51 am
There are plenty of kids who don't lein the entire parsha. Maybe DH could start by teaching him maftir?
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amother
Alyssum


 

Post Mon, Sep 12 2022, 6:23 am
Maftir and haftora?
Haftora is less pressure..
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Mon, Sep 12 2022, 7:07 am
In general how do DH & DS get along? Does DH have patience with him? I know you said he’s a bal korei but has he taught other boys how to Lein?

I think you need to be sure that this won’t ruin their relationship
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