Friend bought sheital & asked my opinion

amother

Thu, May 11 2023, 2:29 pm

My friend bought a sheital and asked me to come over to see it. I did not like it - the color, style, but did not say that. I said it’s nice and said I wasn’t used to it. I asked what her husband thought and he said it needs bangs. She usually wears bangs. I felt badly . I did not know how to respond. She was wearing it so she had already bought it . It’s not like she asked me while trying them on. What should I do in the future? How should I respond if I dot like it and she wants me tobe honest with Something expensive that you already bought?

sushilover

Thu, May 11 2023, 2:46 pm

I believe that halachically you are not allowed to make someone regret a purchase after it was paid for. I think you are even allowed to lie if you are backed into a corner. So your answer was good.
I generally try to be vague and compliment something specific. Like " it brings out the color of your eyes!"

amother

Maple

Thu, May 11 2023, 3:04 pm

There's usually something you can find to say that you like. The color might be really nice, even if it doesn't suit her as well. Or it's styled nicely. And is it just a difference in taste? I have friends (and siblings) that I would never wear what they wear, but I can still admire how it suits them and looks good on them.
She can't give this wig back, so it's making the best of what she has. And if she feels confident wearing it, then she will look good in it.

ra_mom

Thu, May 11 2023, 3:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you agree that bangs would look good on the wig, since she brought it up you can say bangs sound like a great idea.

zaq

Thu, May 11 2023, 3:16 pm

If the person hasn't yet bought the item or can return it without difficulty, be honest. If they can't return it, lie through your teeth.

NechaMom

Thu, May 11 2023, 3:19 pm

Why is she calling you over for an opinion after you purchased it? Are you sure it’s too late?
If it is then there’s no point in telling her how bad it is. Unless there are ways to fix it. Dye it, cut it, style it differently, etc.

amother

Peru

Thu, May 11 2023, 3:25 pm

The bangless flat from look is in and I don’t remember a popular style that looked terrible on so many people. The very flat lace tops look bad on lots of people and are very expensive. The person who asked me was someone I care about and I told her I didn’t like the look on her even though she already paid for the wig. I wanted to let you know they can add bangs and if it’s done well the sheitel will look great. If her husband already told her she’d look better with bangs, you can tell her you agree.

NechaMom

Thu, May 11 2023, 3:27 pm

amother Peru wrote:

Before she adds bangs she should wear it for a week or two and see if she still needs it.
Sometimes it takes getting used to and then you don’t even want to switch back.
If she wore bangs till now she might need some time to adjust.

cuffs

Thu, May 11 2023, 3:34 pm

You usually have 6 months to a year to bring a wig back for repairs/cuts.. so if it’s something that can be changed maybe you can say something

Cheiny

Thu, May 11 2023, 3:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

Maybe she could return it or have work done to it to make it look better… I think if someone asks for an honest opinion, they usually want one. It can be given with diplomacy.

greenteaorange

Thu, May 11 2023, 5:10 pm

Maybe just takes time to get used to her without bangs since it’s a different look.
I would not say anything to her if she decided in a few months to add bangs I’m sure they could

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, May 11 2023, 5:13 pm

If she already bought it then I’d say”how exciting s new sheitel! Tischadshi! “ if she still asks what do I think about it…then I’d tell the truth “you always look beautiful this is a new look and takes time to adjust
Don’t rush to cut bangs or layers because it isn’t good for these Sheitels tho a good sheitel macher can layer in front a teensy bit to frame the face

amother

Mulberry

Thu, May 11 2023, 5:31 pm

amother Saddlebrown wrote:

Why is it not good for the sheitels?

amother

Stonewash

Thu, May 11 2023, 5:45 pm

Is she asking because she wants to know your opinion or because she wants you to validate her purchase? I wouldn’t lie unless that’s what she really wants from you. What are friends for?