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-> Inquiries & Offers
-> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
amother
OP
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 9:16 am
Are there any boys yeshivas in Lakewood that speak to the boys about shmiras eynayim and about touching themselves?
What yeshivas? And what grade do they talk about this?
My husband went to a great yeshiva (not in Lakewood) and says it should’ve been talked about it in upper elementary school or even high school but no Rebbi ever mentioned it. I’m hoping things changed since he was a kid. My son is in first grade (Lakewood) and wondering what his yeshiva does.
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amother
Crimson
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 9:24 am
I don’t live in Lakewood so I can’t answer you . Isn’t it better for fathers to talk to their sons ? Sometimes messages from school are twisted and I would rather my kids get such lessons from me and DH.
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amother
Coral
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 9:29 am
Personally I much prefer they don't talk about it and leave it up to us the parents to talk to our children about.
Dh went to a more extreme yeshiva and the indoctrination and fear instilled around this topic especially touching yourself is not something I want my kids to internalize.
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amother
Banana
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 9:52 am
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keym
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 10:05 am
I send to a fairly yeshivish school in Lakewood (not saying which one).
At orientation of 7th grade, the Rebbi said that throughout the year, he makes small comments about Lo Sasuru and says anyone who doesn't understand come see me after class and he gives a private brief synopsis
His point was that we should all make sure that our sons have been properly educated as we would like them to be because otherwise our sons will be educated in the basics by him.
I see that in the Yeshivish Mesivtas, the Rebbeim will make comments about Shmiras Ainayim and avoiding pritzus, but it's not with fire and brimstone and it's mostly left to the parents to educate as they wish.
Though in tge back to school pamphlet, it did say "we will be learning Maseches Kiddushim, it would be prudent if the father makes sure that his son is knowledgeable in the basic technical aspects and terms to avoid embarrassment and discomfort". But that's with "the birds and the bees" and not Shmiras Ainayim
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 11:03 am
amother Crimson wrote: | I don’t live in Lakewood so I can’t answer you . Isn’t it better for fathers to talk to their sons ? Sometimes messages from school are twisted and I would rather my kids get such lessons from me and DH. |
Yes I agree fathers should talk about it but I’m wondering if schools do too. I would like for the chills to discuss these things as well and obviously not in a twisted way
I send to a reg type of yeshiva, not super yeshivish and wondering what they do
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 11:03 am
keym wrote: | I send to a fairly yeshivish school in Lakewood (not saying which one).
At orientation of 7th grade, the Rebbi said that throughout the year, he makes small comments about Lo Sasuru and says anyone who doesn't understand come see me after class and he gives a private brief synopsis
His point was that we should all make sure that our sons have been properly educated as we would like them to be because otherwise our sons will be educated in the basics by him.
I see that in the Yeshivish Mesivtas, the Rebbeim will make comments about Shmiras Ainayim and avoiding pritzus, but it's not with fire and brimstone and it's mostly left to the parents to educate as they wish.
Though in tge back to school pamphlet, it did say "we will be learning Maseches Kiddushim, it would be prudent if the father makes sure that his son is knowledgeable in the basic technical aspects and terms to avoid embarrassment and discomfort". But that's with "the birds and the bees" and not Shmiras Ainayim |
Interesting, thank you!
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Omamy
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 12:23 pm
There is a great new book out by a Rabbi Yehoshua Berman, Bet Shemesh, called "Help. My Son is growing up. What should I say?" It explains how to speak to children about These Subjects at a young age.
It blew our minds.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 4:00 pm
Omamy wrote: | There is a great new book out by a Rabbi Yehoshua Berman, Bet Shemesh, called "Help. My Son is growing up. What should I say?" It explains how to speak to children about These Subjects at a young age.
It blew our minds. |
Thanks! Il check it out
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amother
Jade
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 4:04 pm
I think it's a more 'chassidish' topic to focus on. Does your son go to a heimish cheder?
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amother
Beige
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 4:10 pm
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 4:13 pm
amother Jade wrote: | I think it's a more 'chassidish' topic to focus on. Does your son go to a heimish cheder? |
No I send to Shagas Aryeh
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amother
Periwinkle
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 4:30 pm
Omamy wrote: | There is a great new book out by a Rabbi Yehoshua Berman, Bet Shemesh, called "Help. My Son is growing up. What should I say?" It explains how to speak to children about These Subjects at a young age.
It blew our minds. |
There’s also bigtalks.org which is recommended by rabbanim. I plan on subscribing to them for my husband to have the talk with my son soon
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tryinghard
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 4:52 pm
There’s another new book called From Boys to Men by a psychologist in conjunction with mechanchim which is excellent and some schools have been distributing it to all parents.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jul 04 2023, 6:18 pm
Thanks for all this info!
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