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-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
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amother
OP
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 Wed, Jul 05 2023, 10:08 am
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This happens every now and again. My 10 year d s is having a huge meltdown.. I've actually left the room now as its not helping me being there. He wants to play a certain video game he played once which we don't want him to play, once we saw the game, as it's very violent. For some reason he thinks screaming and tantrums will make me change my mind. What am I supposed to do now ? He's always having these meltdowns. Am I doing something wrong? Please can I have some advice?
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amother
Snowdrop
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Wed, Jul 05 2023, 10:09 am
Video games are extremely addictive. I don't see anything you can do, other than continue to enforce the boundary. If you give in in any way, he will learn to manipulate you with tantrums.
You're doing good, keep it up.
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amother
DarkRed
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Wed, Jul 05 2023, 10:15 am
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Technology, especially video games, is so addictive. My kids have done similar. One child even lay on the floor kicking and screaming, crying hysterically, while clutching her chest and telling us she felt like she was having a heart attack. I don't think she was being a drama queen. I think it felt that way to her. This is addiction. I let my kids know that when they react to the taking away of electronics in this way, they are showing me their addiction and I have an obligation to help them by having them detox. This behavior leads to 1 week zero electronics. Period. They still get upset if I tell them phone/ipad/ video game time is over but they reign in their emotions accept it.
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amother
Zinnia
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Wed, Jul 05 2023, 10:18 am
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You ignore and they see the tantrum gets them no where
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the world's best mom
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Wed, Jul 05 2023, 10:19 am
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Good for you for creating healthy guidelines! You are totally right to not allow violent video games. I hope you have the strength to remain strong about it, even when you know it will mean he will tantrum. You are being a good parent, and he is being a child who wants an addictive video game. All is normal.
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#BestBubby
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Wed, Jul 05 2023, 10:31 am
You are doing the right thing.
Leave the room.
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amother
NeonOrange
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Wed, Jul 05 2023, 10:53 am
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I completely Ignore tantrums. I don't react or interact.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jul 05 2023, 10:58 am
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Thank you so much for the responses. I held strong and the tantrum ended.. Now just bracing myself for the next one
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mha3484
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Wed, Jul 05 2023, 11:04 am
I really recommend reading the explosive child. https://livesinthebalance.org/.....lies/
Based on own 12 year old, my experience is that the screen is just the cover for a deeper issue. For my son its loneliness. He doesn't have a great class situation and struggles to find his place socially so a screen fills the need he has to do something. When he got invited to a class bbq he was jumping to go and be with people. I really would play detective and ask myself if there are issues under the surface that the screens are compensating for. Then you can try and help him rely on it less.
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giftedmom
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Wed, Jul 05 2023, 11:06 am
| mha3484 wrote: | I really recommend reading the explosive child. https://livesinthebalance.org/.....lies/
Based on own 12 year old, my experience is that the screen is just the cover for a deeper issue. For my son its loneliness. He doesn't have a great class situation and struggles to find his place socially so a screen fills the need he has to do something. When he got invited to a class bbq he was jumping to go and be with people. I really would play detective and ask myself if there are issues under the surface that the screens are compensating for. Then you can try and help him rely on it less. |
I don’t find this to always be true. I actually started restricting video games when I realized how my kids would literally give anything up to stay home and play.
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mha3484
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Wed, Jul 05 2023, 11:08 am
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I think for some kids like mine, who are bored and lonely they turn to screens. Yours are different its really just my experience. But OP should look into what her son is getting out of the screen.
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amother
DarkRed
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Wed, Jul 05 2023, 11:09 am
| mha3484 wrote: | I really recommend reading the explosive child. https://livesinthebalance.org/.....lies/
Based on own 12 year old, my experience is that the screen is just the cover for a deeper issue. For my son its loneliness. He doesn't have a great class situation and struggles to find his place socially so a screen fills the need he has to do something. When he got invited to a class bbq he was jumping to go and be with people. I really would play detective and ask myself if there are issues under the surface that the screens are compensating for. Then you can try and help him rely on it less. |
This is a great book and if you've got that sort of child it can be a game changer. But meltdowns over video games and electronic devices is so common and if the child isn't tantrumming over other things there is no reason to assume there are larger issues.
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imaima
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Wed, Jul 05 2023, 11:10 am
| amother OP wrote: | | This happens every now and again. My 10 year d s is having a huge meltdown.. I've actually left the room now as its not helping me being there. He wants to play a certain video game he played once which we don't want him to play, once we saw the game, as it's very violent. For some reason he thinks screaming and tantrums will make me change my mind. What am I supposed to do now ? He's always having these meltdowns. Am I doing something wrong? Please can I have some advice? |
Grey rock
A consequence for having a tantrum (but I will get crucified here for saying that).
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