If you have visitors and your kid is having a major issue..

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 5:57 pm

What do you do?

If you have close relatives staying and their leaving is not an option, and one of your kids is having a major problem that neither they or you want their relatives to know about, but it'snot easily dealt with quietly in their or your room. How do you handle it?

Looking for guidance that doesn't involve letting go of the relatives not knowing and embracing their involvement.

amother

Buttercup

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 6:10 pm

Hard to advise without more specific details.

Frenchfry

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 6:17 pm

Can you go out just with this child for a bit?

amother

Petunia

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 6:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

Your child comes first.
Send the relative home.

amother

Crocus

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 6:27 pm

Deal with it as quietly as possible. That’s really the only solution

smss

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 7:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you can't have the relatives leave

And you don't want them to know about it

I don't really know what choices you have besides taking the kid out for a drive or to somewhere private to talk?

smss

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 7:30 pm

Can you find a pretext to get the visitors out of the house for a few hours so you can have some privacy at home?

amother

Lotus

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 8:29 pm

Really depends on what the issue is. It sounds like this is something that will be difficult for you to keep quiet within your own home. If that's the case your only two options are figuring out a way for said relative to leave or having them figure out that something is amiss. I'm not sure what a third option could and would be.

amother

Celeste

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 9:08 pm

My daughter has a very well-managed mental health issue. When it first came to the fore, it happened over a YT, and we were hosting alot of family. I really don't know how we managed to keep it quiet and hold her together without family realizing something major was going on. It took so much strength (from both her and from us).
I just want to offer you hugs for going thru this.

imasinger

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 9:20 pm

I guess the third option would be for you and DC to leave for as long as necessary?

I'm picturing this as having a young married family in the house, and having another kid with an issue, and the older sibling might act like older siblings sometimes do, and try to tell everyone how to handle their lives.

I wonder how possible it would be to say to the guests, "I know I invited you to stay until ____, but it turns out to be a problem. I'd like to work out a rain check with you, can we plan a rain check visit soon? I feel terrible, but right now isn't going to work. No, at this point, I can't discuss why, but it's not you. I love you very much,and I hope you know that, and can trust me enough."

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