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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
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amother
OP
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 Wed, Sep 20 2023, 2:41 pm
Ds is 10. Good friends I’m school- he is well liked. He is short and doesn’t have athletic genes. Dh never plays with him. I am not athletic either. Great sense of humor, loves to read sing draw build Lego play chess run and play soccer.
In the neighborhood he has no friends his own age but tags along with younger brother.
I wanted him to try leagues- either for chess or soccer. However he’s worried because he’ll be grouped with the older grades also, and because he doesn’t know anyone there.
I don’t want to pay hundreds of dollars for him to be resentful each week or to back out after one week.
Joining a league was my idea not his.
How can I figure out if this will be beneficial for him and I should encourage him?
If he doesn’t join a league he’s not playing with friends at home after school, only with his brother (more fighting than playing) and playing games on an app.
None of his school friends are going that he’s knows of. They are mostly lower income and I don’t feel comfortable asking their mothers if they’re sending…
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seeker
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Wed, Sep 20 2023, 2:46 pm
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Ask the coordinator if he can join for a sample/trial session before committing to the season.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Sep 20 2023, 2:59 pm
| seeker wrote: | | Ask the coordinator if he can join for a sample/trial session before committing to the season. |
They said no 
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amother
OP
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Wed, Sep 20 2023, 3:00 pm
| seeker wrote: | | Ask the coordinator if he can join for a sample/trial session before committing to the season. |
I asked. They said no.
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mha3484
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Wed, Sep 20 2023, 3:02 pm
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I am happy to sign my kids up for extras if its something they want to do. If they have no interest I see no point in paying and shelpping them around.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Sep 20 2023, 3:05 pm
| mha3484 wrote: | | I am happy to sign my kids up for extras if its something they want to do. If they have no interest I see no point in paying and shelpping them around. |
You wait for them to ask?
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mha3484
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Wed, Sep 20 2023, 3:10 pm
Usually there's a flyer in the different newsletters like the school one they bring home or the community ones. One of my boys saw a flyer for the school choir that way and asked if he could join so I said sure.
Also I know what my kids like and what they would say no to. One of my boys is extremely artistic so when a boys art class started and it was very convenient for me I signed him up. But if he was ambivalent about art I would not have bothered.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Sep 20 2023, 3:23 pm
| mha3484 wrote: | Usually there's a flyer in the different newsletters like the school one they bring home or the community ones. One of my boys saw a flyer for the school choir that way and asked if he could join so I said sure.
Also I know what my kids like and what they would say no to. One of my boys is extremely artistic so when a boys art class started and it was very convenient for me I signed him up. But if he was ambivalent about art I would not have bothered. |
What if he would love art, but is shy to be with people he doesn’t know?
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mha3484
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Wed, Sep 20 2023, 3:28 pm
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I would try to find one friend who wanted to go with. If you cant find anyone, I would talk to him about how it feels to not know anyone but you can meet people who like the same stuff as you and its good try new experiences. You know your own kid but at 10 mine usually was open to at least hearing me out. But I do think if a kid really likes an activity but the only reason not to go is fear I would work on making them less afraid. Because it will come up with more life situations like camp. So many camps are so full that boys may end up where they no know one. Its good to ease into it now.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Sep 20 2023, 10:26 pm
| mha3484 wrote: | | I would try to find one friend who wanted to go with. If you cant find anyone, I would talk to him about how it feels to not know anyone but you can meet people who like the same stuff as you and its good try new experiences. You know your own kid but at 10 mine usually was open to at least hearing me out. But I do think if a kid really likes an activity but the only reason not to go is fear I would work on making them less afraid. Because it will come up with more life situations like camp. So many camps are so full that boys may end up where they no know one. Its good to ease into it now. |
He already goes to a camp where he knows almost no one. He had only one good friend there. (And in that camp boys told him he can’t play basketball because he sucks 😢)
He is open to hearing me out. I just don’t know if I should encourage him at all or if it will backfire.
I wish he had a good friend going
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