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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Guests
amother
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Mon, Nov 14 2005, 5:36 pm
Hello everyone, I am just venting. we recently hosted for dinner a friend who lately discovered she had a disorder requiring certain dietary restrictions. before she came I asked her what kinds of things she could eat, expecting that she would say something like "I can have all fruits, reasnable amts of chicken and fish but not beef, no added salt, and whole grains..." whatever. something specific that I could work with. all she did was give me 1 very general category of stuff she could have without giving me any examples or details.
with that, I put together a menu that I thought would fulfill these requirements. (I have no reference books at home about this disrder, so I couldn't look anything up. I did look on the internet and draw some conclusions based on the occasionally conflicting info. I found there.) In only one instance did I make a separate dish for her and serve the family something else.
after shabbos, she said 'you know, you didn't have to serve me Dish A, I eat Dish B all the time.'
I know, I know, this is petty. (and yes, I do have other issues with this person--I'd probably have reacted very differently had everything been peachy between us.) But I found it very annoying that she didn't give me any useful guidance when I asked for it. I wasn't expecting her to hand me a menu, but had I known she could have food in the category of Dish B it would have saved me a bit of bother (not to mention that we don't like Dish B at all and will be eating it for the rest of the week.) To be dan lechaf zechus, she may not have wanted me to bother making something special for her--but in fact, had she given me the info I asked for, there would have been no need to do so, as I could have made all my menu selections from the foods she can eat freely.
not looking for advice but just venting. thanks, guys!
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tzivi
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Tue, Nov 15 2005, 6:38 am
Don't feel bad, you did a really nice thing for your guest, even if she didn't ask you to do it. Kol Hakovod
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Pearl
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Tue, Nov 15 2005, 7:42 am
you were a perfect host! good for you for asking, and too bad she didn't specify what she could/couldn't eat.
but now you know, for the next time!
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