Advice and Tips moving to Israel with older children

lk18

Tue, Dec 26 2023, 2:25 pm

Hello! BzH we will be moving to Israel this summer. BH our children's ages range from 7-13. Our oldest was just bat mitzvah this past Sukkos.

I am looking for any advice and tips, and of course any success stories (please! I know people mean well but all I hear are how bad it is for us to be moving with our kids at this age and plenty of negative stories). And just anything that may have helped you or you learned along the way etc.

TSM!

Jewishmom8

Tue, Dec 26 2023, 2:33 pm

With older kids, one the main things to focus on is making sure you are in a place where they can make lots of good friends easily.
when they are out of it socially, things go downhill.

lk18

Tue, Dec 26 2023, 2:56 pm

Jewishmom8 wrote:

With older kids, one the main things to focus on is making sure you are in a place where they can make lots of good friends easily.
when they are out of it socially, things go downhill.

Thank you! This makes sense. We are American and were advised to start off in RBS. My husband and I are going to try and visit different places to try and get a feel for the communities and what fits best for us. Do you l ow anything abt the RBS communities? My husband was in RBS Gimmel last year for a week and he loved it there.

I just feel like we are not one or the other of anything! Lol does that make sense? My kids go to a yeshivish school, my husband davens and learns at the kollel, I only cover my hair with tichels but we still have a filtered computers and my kids play video games and are very much into football and sports. And we watch the occasional movie but not often. I do worry my kids won’t have any place to fit in…..

LovesHashem

Tue, Dec 26 2023, 2:59 pm

Hi there, I made aliyah around your oldest age. I survive.

There's definitely a place, it might not look exactly like their school now, nuances are different but you will find a place. You may have to sacrafic a bit in being more open or to the right for the best fit though.

essie14

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 1:35 am

Lots of threads about this in the Aliyah forum. Do a little browsing and then feel free to open a post in that forum with specific questions.
B'hatzlacha!

Reality

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 3:07 am

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....83246

This is the link to my thread about my aliyah with teens, one year later. It is from last year so pretty current. I hope it helps you and I am happy to help you with any other questions you may have.

tehilap

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 4:26 am

I moved when I was 10.5 and it was very tramatic,I had a neighbor who came from france with an 11 year old and she doing great so the age doesn’t matter. One thing I know helped her was that she knew the language, one thing I think would have helped me is if I had a hobby or and interests like if I could have gone to camp. Also it’s important to get to know the system the unspoken rules especially.

amother

Stonewash

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 4:58 am

Reach out for a as much help as you can. Write to FB RBS and ask people your questions. They can answer privately if you want. Ask them about schooling, Homes, different areas. Shuls. Of course everyone has opinions but you can get a feel of the girls schools, boys schools, who gives the extra help in their schools. There are tons of after school activities for all kids so your kids can also meet others in those places. The main thing is to ask. I am sure Nefesh B'nefesh has lots of info. Maybe you can be in touch with Rabbi's from the American Community in RBS and see what their Kehillot have to offer.

Reality

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 5:05 am

tehilap wrote:

I agree 100%

Everyone says it's the older kids that struggle more. It may be more common but plenty of times it's the younger kids who struggle and the older kids do great from the get-go.

In my family, I only had one child that was the "right age" for aliyah and this child had the hardest adjustment of all my kids. BH, my older children adapted amazingly. A lot is personality not age.

Bnei Berak 10

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 5:31 am

tehilap wrote:

OP, please encourage your kids to learn Hebrew as much as possible a soon as possible and in a fun way.
I strongly recommend you and your DH also to strongly concentrate to learn as much Hebrew as possible. It's the *main key* to integration together with a positive attitude Smile

amother

Linen

Wed, Dec 27 2023, 6:46 pm

I would personally recommend you call speak to the charedi rep in NBN. I have personally spoken with him and he was very helpful and honest with us. He didn't sugar coat anything and he had a lot of information about schools and communities. Not sure if I can post links but google its shayech and open a case.