Are you a SAHM whose youngest is already in school?

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 10:09 am

Are you me???

Exactly the same, and I'd love to work for a few hours a week so I things wouldn't be so tight and also so I could get some intellectual or social stimulation. But I have no idea what I could do (my field from 10+ years ago won't work for these limited hours) that would also not create a lot of extra pressure in my life. Meaning, how would I handle my kids being sick, summer vacation, school vacation, doctor appointments and other things that come up?

amother

Azure

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:12 pm

I’ve been a SAHM/WAHM since my oldest was a baby. I have large gaps between kids due to IF so I’ve been in your situation several times. BH I have a baby now but lots of experience with “empty nest time” over the years!

I started freelancing in a field I’m good at (think graphic design) years ago and eventually built up quite a healthy client base bH. It’s perfect because I can take on more work during quiet times and turn down projects when it’s hectic, plus I work on my own time so vacations and sick days are easy to handle. I’m so grateful to be able to do it and to be there for my family, especially as they need more time and attention as they get older!

amother

DarkPurple

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

I was a SAHM since I had my third child. BH I had a couple more since then. This year my youngest went to school already and although there’s always something to do in the house I feel a little empty. Like I SHOULD be working because I have no excuse (to myself, I don’t feel the need to excuse myself to others) that I’m taking care of a baby all day.
Financially, we are managing with DHs income but no extras or luxuries. We live a very simple/lower class life and we are fine with it.
I imagine that if I’d take a PT job I’d earn pennies since I have no degree or experience in anything current. Makes it feel not worth it. Because even though I have a couple hours every day that the kids are out there are still always unexpected appointments, kids sick, kids school vacation, other commitments that if I’d be tied up in a job would make it quite stressful to find childcare for when I do belong home. So it would really have to be worth it for me to commit to a job and for $25 an hour (starting rate?) I can’t see it be worth it.
I’m just wondering what other mothers in my shoes do. Are there WAHM options for 2-3 hours a day that actually pays well? Any other ideas? (Not looking for volunteer work.)

WOW it could seriously have been me writing this post. Exactly exactly the same situation. Following thsi thread!

Queen6

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:22 pm

This is a transition stage. Not all women go through it as it's only women who don't have more than 6 kids and are close together I would think. There becomes a real quiet. You can enjoy the quiet now but after a while it can get too quiet. At that point (which is sooner than you think) what will you do? Feel depressed? Make your family members crazy to entertain you? Make your kids needy? Having a job will take that away. So no don't take on a job that's exhausting. Take something small that you can enjoy and be flexible. The thing you should not take into account is the paycheck. You lived without for so long it doesn't matter. The reason it's worth it is because it's filling your time in a productive way. No matter how little you make it's more than spending on shopping or brunch .... I encourage all women who are in this category to go to work. Try it at least.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is a dream job. Exactly what I’d love. Very hard to find though.

I sang the same song.

Start looking around. I was on the lookout for months. Do your hishtadlus and hashem will do the rest.

Just saying it’s hard to find won’t get you anywhere.

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:27 pm

amother Coffee wrote:

I sang the same song.

Start looking around. I was on the lookout for months. Do your hishtadlus and hashem will do the rest.

Just saying it’s hard to find won’t get you anywhere.

Right. I’m kind of asking for suggestions here. Maybe there are online jobs people are aware of.

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:28 pm

Queen6 wrote:

I hear you that I shouldn’t focus on the pay. Never looked at it that way.

amother

Firethorn

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 12:57 pm

Not sure where you're located. I started doing ABA in schools. It's kind of a glorified shadow. The hours are flexible and pay is usually about $30/hr. Depends on the case, but sometimes it's just so gratifying to help a child learn small skills and help them keep up with their peers. You pick your own hours and you have a BCBA (like a mentor) guiding you. No degree required.

amother

Ballota

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 1:58 pm

It’s the first time that I’m in this situation in many years. For me, it’s a recovery period. I was so burnt out from taking care of children 24/7 that I barely had time to breathe. Now I am so happy to have these few hours to myself. I do plenty of chores during the day, but I enjoy being able to do them alone (without babies and toddlers following me around all day!). I’m catching up on all the things I’ve been neglecting for so long. I have a little extra time to walk outdoors and do some projects and activities, appointments that I’ve been putting off because there was no time. I finally feel like a human being again.

amother

Cantaloupe

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 2:58 pm

Your future self might appreciate that you went out to get a job. Many women when they get older are very bored because their children moved on, additionally having a job helps people live longer, happier and stay active past retirement age

amother

Blush

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 6:19 pm

You’re going to need more money as your kids get older. Right now you’re just managing, but wait until you start marrying off kids iyH. The financial stress is intense. I would take a part time job and put every penny you earn into a savings account or cd, as a simcha fund.

You could work very part time for a sheitel macher washing wigs and gradually learn skills that you could use to go into business on your own later.

amother

Watermelon

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 11:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

from. what I understand preschools are desperate for subs and they pay nicely.. and you can work on your own terms (hours, days of week) bc they'll take anything they can get!

mushkamothers

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 11:42 pm

Someone posted this on a business chat I'm on. Pm me for the business name and then I guess reach out to them directly.

We provide back office services & social media for small business owners. We're always looking to hire more secretaries, so if you know of an experienced admin who would love to work with fantastic clients, from the comfort of his/her home, please let me know.

amother

Bergamot

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 11:58 pm

My kids are teens and I do multiple things SO THAT I have the flexibility for their doc and therapy appointments. I work between zero and six hours a day and it TOTALLY depends on the day and what my plan is for that day. My calendar looks like a bomb exploded. Smile

1) I've been in direct sales for a long time--- I used to make a full time income from it but I stepped back and now it's very part time/ hobby for me so that I can also make time to do the next couple of things....

2) I sub in playgroups. About 10 of them--- so each week I sub for one or two for one to three days or so. I also babysit 4-6 hours a week for a particular family.

3) I sell on ebay.

All of that together is a good income, flexible, and makes me my own boss. I could easily do any one of them full time, but don't want to because I enjoy it all and it keeps me flexible. When I was doing sales full time I managed a large team and really had to work my phone calls with them into hours THEY were available, etc. If I were to sub full time I wouldn't be able to do all the appointments I have for my kids and I wouldn't have time for my direct sales biz which I don't want to give up because the money per hour is better than subbing--- but I like subbing so I don't want to give THAT up... lol

My husband has a much more traditional job so when kids are sick or kids have appts it's all on me.

amother

Natural

Fri, Dec 29 2023, 12:49 am

amother OP wrote:

Same!