Leaving behind kids to go on vacation

amother

Nemesia

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 5:25 pm

amother Peach wrote:

Of course they don't remember it, but it doesn't mean that it can't/won't leave an effect on the child.

Believe me, it had absolutely know effect on them.

amother

Taupe

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 5:36 pm

amother Peach wrote:

Of course they don't remember it, but it doesn't mean that it can't/won't leave an effect on the child.

I want it to have an effect! I want them to learn that going away alone as a couple is a priority and it benefits the family as a whole.

amother

Peach

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 5:48 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

I want it to have an effect! I want them to learn that going away alone as a couple is a priority and it benefits the family as a whole.

Oh, but you cannot choose or control what type of effect this may leave on babies.
And babies absolutely cannot "learn" or understand the benefits of going away as a couple. It's definitely a risk we take.

amother

Peach

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 5:50 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

Believe me, it had absolutely know effect on them.

I believe you. I was just pointing out the just because babies may not remember something, it doesn't mean that it can't leave an effect on them.

amother

Taupe

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 6:00 pm

amother Peach wrote:

Of course but as parents we make the decisions that we believe are in the best interest of our children and daven for the best outcome. I don’t consider it a risk any more than I consider any other thought out parenting decision a risk.
I can’t imagine there’s any actual evidence that a parent leaving a 1 year old for 2-3 days in a loving environment causes long term harm. And if there is I’m assuming you encourage home births since it’s such a risk.

amother

Peach

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 6:05 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

Right, it's a risk like some other parenting decision. The difference is though, that we're talking about babies, not about older kids that understand better & can express themselves better. So we shouldn't take the decision to leave babies behind lightly. Everyone knows their kids well. OP says that her baby will be miserable, if so, then it's not fair to the child.

amother

Carnation

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 8:44 pm

If your marriage needs it, do it!
I don’t understand all the people that say too young. Your baby will be completely fine and you’ll come back rejuvenated and a better parent for it.
We make it a priority to get away once a year and it’s someone we look forward to! Even if it’s only for a night in the city…time to connect with your spouse and wake up late…can do wonders

amother

Peach

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 9:04 pm

amother Carnation wrote:

This is not a blanket statement. Some babies will be fine, some will be miserable. Not all babies react the same to their parents being away.
OP said that she knows that her baby will be miserable. That's something to think about when making the decision to leave kids behind.
Really, when we have little babies, it's not the right time to go on vacation. But I know people that an annual vacation is set in stone for them come what may, and they even leave newborns & nursing babies behind, sometimes at sitters the kid never met. Because "the marriage needs it."

amother

Lightcoral

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 10:16 pm

I only have 2, so I don’t know what I would have done if I had a dozen spanning 25 years.
The first time we left our kids was when my older one was 10 and younger one was 7.5. The older one was actually in sleep away camp and the younger one was in daycamp with her cousin (who was also the youngest and only one home). She went to and from camp with my niece, and slept at my sister’s house. They had a 2 night sleepover.

We took my children on many vacations.
We also had staycations where we went out to eat or ordered in and used paper, ignored laundry, and just enjoyed each other.

amother

Mocha

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 11:21 pm

My dc go away and leave the kids with us or with the inlaws for up to a week every so often. Never had any problems, maybe because they started when their first was an infant so she was used to our houses from the outset.

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