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Good enough mother



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amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Jan 13 2024, 8:27 pm
A mother does not have to be perfect; moreover, she can't be perfect. Even if she could focus 100% of the time on her child's needs, she'd create a very self-centered dysfunctional child. The goal is a "good enough mother"- a highly researched and documented phenomenon. I think it means - a mother who MOST of the time is focusing on her child's best interests. A mother who neglects her child's physical and/or emotional needs or who abuses her child does not meet the criteria. These mothers - regardless of the reason - do not focus on their child's best interests most of the time.
I like to remind myself of this because it helps me. Please don't ask what is the point of this post. I just enjoy a good discussion! Feel free to move on if you aren't interested.
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behappy2




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 13 2024, 9:33 pm
Agreed

I think this is a title of a book. Definitely have read a book on this topic
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Sat, Jan 13 2024, 9:36 pm
Check out the too good mother. It's not healthy for the child. Child will usually reject its mother.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Sat, Jan 13 2024, 9:36 pm
Good enough mother concept comes from Winnicott.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Jan 13 2024, 9:39 pm
Absolutely, I did not make this up. This is a well researched and documented thing. Thank you for bringing the name of the person who is behind the research. S/he should get the credit.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Sat, Jan 13 2024, 11:04 pm
amother OP wrote:
Absolutely, I did not make this up. This is a well researched and documented thing. Thank you for bringing the name of the person who is behind the research. S/he should get the credit.


As a new mother I appreciate this tremendously. Before I got pregnant I got the feeling that once I have a child I’m just going to disappear, like all my enjoyments and meaning in life will die.

Now I’m a mom and I see how it’s a choice, and I’m trying to make the healthy choices. So thanks for the shout out:)
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