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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
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amother
OP
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 Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:41 pm
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My mesivta boy doesn't have midwinter off and my elementary kids do. The mesivta won't let him take off and come with us. Is it fair to go without him? My post seminary girls will be home as they are working. I am torn what to do
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amother
Brickred
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:44 pm
Life ain’t fair
Different schedules
If you want to “make it up to him” take him somewhere special Bain hazmanim
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amother
Cornsilk
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:47 pm
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One year we called the Rosh yeshiva of our mesivta boy and after speaking with him personally we got permission to take him with us.
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ysydmom
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:49 pm
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Take him out of school most ppl do. Why should he miss out on important family time? If you don't take him he may end up resenting learning. As long as you are doing kosher activities take him along.
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amother
Wheat
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:51 pm
When I was in highschool my family went away without me as the school didn't let me take off. I was very upset.
My kids are much younger but all my kids besides for one have off till Tuesday. He only has Friday and Sunday. I am going away and taking him out of school. He's only 7 though.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:54 pm
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I can't take him out against school if they said no
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Goldengoose
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:54 pm
depends where you're going and what you're doing there. also, have an honest and open convo with him and see where he stands.
Last edited by Goldengoose on Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:54 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Hunter
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:54 pm
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Don't the boys do over the top main hazmanim trip these day ? You can explain to them everyone has different vacation times and their turn will come
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mha3484
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:56 pm
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I would stick with activities he finds babyish so hes not upset to miss them.
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amother
Hunter
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:56 pm
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In general My son complains the girls are off Sundays and have less stress school hours. When It comes to summer the girls complain how much more exciting boys camps are...
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amother
Cornsilk
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:57 pm
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So then call it a little kid trip since his big sisters will be home with him anyway and tell the older ones you’ll try to do something with them a different time.
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amother
Lily
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:58 pm
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Sit down as a family and brainstorm together , giving them an opportunity to share what they want.
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amother
Lily
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:59 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I can't take him out against school if they said no |
What does it mean they say no? What gives them this authority?
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amother
Tan
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 3:59 pm
| amother Wheat wrote: | When I was in highschool my family went away without me as the school didn't let me take off. I was very upset.
My kids are much younger but all my kids besides for one have off till Tuesday. He only has Friday and Sunday. I am going away and taking him out of school. He's only 7 though. |
We got into a lot of trouble the year we did that…
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amother
Lily
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 4:01 pm
| amother Tan wrote: | | We got into a lot of trouble the year we did that… |
Explain your trouble please… did they fine you?
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mha3484
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 4:02 pm
| amother Lily wrote: | | What does it mean they say no? What gives them this authority? |
When you pick a mesivta your agreeing to their schedule. You cant just take days off because you disagree.
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Sewsew_mom
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 4:02 pm
| amother Lily wrote: | | What does it mean they say no? What gives them this authority? |
It sort of means.. When you sign up for a school you adhere to the rules given to you. Everything is laid out. If you don't, they don't need to keep your child in yeshiva.
Is it right? Wrong? I'm not going to say my opinion.
I do wish they would change something so people wouldn't be in this situation.
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amother
Seashell
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Mon, Jan 22 2024, 4:04 pm
I’ve dealt with this many times
- I do not believe it’s ok to take the child out of school for this, even though I’m normally fine with kids taking off. Because here there is a major impact on the class when some kids leave to go away, it causes resentment, and causes other kids to give their parents a hard time…. I try not to do things which make other peoples lives harder even if technically it’s ok.
(Missing learning is a separate important point as well)
We do smaller trips over winter break, and a much larger trip when the mesivta boys are off- even if it means the younger kids have to miss school.
I feel that is a better alternative to the reverse. We’ve done the week before Pesach (cleaned ahead of time), the week after Pesach, over the summer etc.
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