This girl is a test of my patience!!

amother

Mint

Tue, Nov 07 2023, 10:09 am

amother Maroon wrote:

People leave their carefully curated classrooms, where everyone who's different has been taken out and sent to special ed, and they're shocked to find that in the real world, different people exist, including disabled people. This has a profound negative impact on society as a whole because it contributes to abled people not seeing disabled people as their peers and not prioritizing accessibility in the choices they make in life.

Yes, this is a big problem and it also costs lots of neshamos.

There are schools that don't accommodate anyone different then them. They have a top name at the expense of kids needing to go to special ed schools or the lost neshamos that they can't accommodate who are wandering their hallways , getting punished all the time...

Bnei Berak 10

Tue, Nov 07 2023, 10:11 am

amother Maroon wrote:

Please tell me what prioritizing accessibility means in plain English. To me it sounds like a new PC word.

amother

Grape

Tue, Nov 07 2023, 10:22 am

Sounds like me with ADHD. I'm not saying she has ADHD, just that some of the behaviors I had too, here is how they were dealth with well. The teacher and I had arrangement that I could leave class whenever I wanted on the condition that I don't ask for it, I just get up and go quietly. This was a privilege because the teacher aaid ahe trusted me.to use it wisely - and if I disrupted her or the class or other girls while going in and out, or if I spent too much time out kf the classroom (pre-define this) then the privilege would be revoked. Also, if she can't help talking to her friends, in parallel to the above you should seat her next to the door, so there is no one to talk to on her way in our out. Anyway, these changes made a huge difference for me and I didn't abuse them and I was much less disruptive.

Also, is there a chance that where she is sitting is creating her acting out? My daughter wouldn't stop talking in class or gettting up and walking around, in turned out that a girl sittiny near her was constantly bothering her (physically and verbally) both in and out of class and she couldn't concentrate next to her because she was so worried about what the girl would do next. And it was all little things so the teacher didn't see. And my daughter already felt like the teacher didn't listen to her (wouldnt move her seat, wouldnt let her go out when needed) so she never told the teacher about the other girl, because she figured it wouldn't make a difference anyway. So maybe talk to the girl directly about why she wants a seat change, why she always wants to leave class, etc.

amother

Ballota

Tue, Nov 07 2023, 10:59 am

amother Grape wrote:

This sounds like a good plan to me. If, for safety reasons, she needs to go to a specific place, like the school library, you can specify that and that would be part of the conditions for the privilege.

amother

Sand

Tue, Nov 07 2023, 1:14 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

No. Just no. I respectfully disagree.
Why should the other students who (hopefully) are quiet and (hopefully) want to learn need to tolerate disruptive behaviour? Why? What makes you think it's OK to disrupt a while class?

Bene Braq. Reb Akiva conducting a seder till the morning. Reb Akivas 24,000 talmidim.
often a teacher can change her reaction to a precious child and the situation corrects itself.

Bnei Berak 10

Tue, Nov 07 2023, 1:22 pm

amother Sand wrote:

Bene Braq. Reb Akiva conducting a seder till the morning. Reb Akivas 24,000 talmidim.
often a teacher can change her reaction to a precious child and the situation corrects itself.

Please explain what Rabbi Akiva's Lel Haseder has anything to do with OPs situation?

amother

Outerspace

Tue, Nov 07 2023, 1:58 pm

amother Maroon wrote:

It's not okay to disrupt the class, but that doesn't mean it's okay to just throw away a whole person because some of their behaviors bother you. Sometimes the class can adapt.

Sometimes the class is so easily disrupted because the way it's "supposed" to function is too rigid and only works for the slight majority to begin with.

Nobody said to throw away the girl, stop jumping to conclusions. I wrote that the mother and teachers have to come up with a plan so that this girl doesn't distrupt others. The girls this bratty student is bothering are just as important as her.
You have to understand that there are schools out there with 40 girls in a class room. If my daughter is stuck with a bothersome girl in the back who keeps talking and shuffling around, she sometimes will miss a sentence or even a few words from the lesson and then loses the teachers whole train of thought. Or is sometimes blamed for this girls antics because the teacher can't keep calling out the same girl.

amother

Canary

Tue, Nov 07 2023, 4:28 pm

amother Mint wrote:

My son is a little like this.

He has ADHD and also many years of being yelled at by teachers or being completely ignored, never complimented and failing through school. This is his way of being seen.

My DS is the same. These struggling kids feel like they go unnoticed because they can’t do well in academically so they act out in small ways to get attention and for you to notice them other ways. It may be subconscious on their part but they are a rachmanus and always end getting on the teachers bad side because of this.

amother

Clover

Tue, Nov 07 2023, 5:41 pm

amother Grape wrote:

As a teacher, I can't like this enough. It's GOLD!

amother

Tue, Nov 07 2023, 8:33 pm

Thanks, y'all, for your suggestions and points of view.
So today was much better bH!! Before class, I asked her what we can do to make things work...change her seat? She jumped for it. I switched her seat and let her go out when she asked... And it really kept our interactions much more positive !
I don't know if tomorrow will be as good... But she really kept quiet for most of the class! Let's pray it continues !! 💜

amother

Oxfordblue

Tue, Nov 07 2023, 10:15 pm

My daughter is quite a bit younger but the idea is the same.
As a six year old her teachers commented that she would go to the bathroom a lot. She’s an anxious kid and that was her way of taking a breather to regulate herself.
Often when they were about to transition or try something new, she would ask to go to the bathroom - because of her anxiety.
Once the teachers realised what was going on and they would gently ask her is she could wait a few minutes and then go. Often once she saw what the new activity or work was, and that it was ok, she settled down and didn’t need to leave anymore.
But her teachers understood and let her go for a few minutes if she needed.

This year her teachers are also very understanding, they came up with a plan together. So she doesn’t make a fuss and disturb other girls, but she can go out for a few minutes when she needs or sit and do some colouring or something else quiet that helps her regulate.

amother

Peru

Tue, Nov 07 2023, 10:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

Imamother at it's best. Yasher koach, to both of you!