Pre 1A daughter came home crying

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers

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straightalk

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 3:52 pm

My pre 1A daughter is in a class of 24 kids. She came home crying today because she asked two girls if she can join them playing house and they said no it's only for two kids. What do I tell my daughter? She was very hurt. She expresses her feelings to me very easily and communicates well with me. Thank you!

Chayalle

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 3:57 pm

Tell her that was not nice and use it as a teachable moment, that Hashem let her feel this way so that she will NEVER EVER treat anyone else like this. You are so proud that she would only act with nice middos toward her classmates.

And if this is a continuous issue, please make sure to speak to the Morah about it.

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 4:01 pm

I'd say they don't sound like such nice girls to play with anyway, it's much nicer to play with girls who are nice and let others join their games

I was a morah for that age and we focused a lot on girls allowing others to join their games. You can always have another baby or sister in the "family". We did not allow girls to exclude other girls.
If this keeps happening then speak to the morah

amother

Vermilion

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 4:01 pm

I wouldn't catastrophize it like that. Saying she would NEVER EVER treat someone like that is telling her that something awful happened to her. It didn't. Its normal stuff and your message should be to acknowledge the hurt and then problem solve what to do.

So I would say Oy, I'm sorry that happened to you. Its hurtful. Sometimes girls can get caught up in playing and not include others. Whats a good thing to do when that happens. And ask her for suggestions. Like find some other kids, some other activity, or offer them a suggestion for her role. Like she can say, maybe I can be the tanta who's visiting from Eretz Yisrael, and they may like that.

A call is warranted if she says that its constantly happening, but I wouldn't for a once in a while occurence.

oneofakind

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 4:21 pm

Her feelings were hurt that she wasn't included and you should validate that but it's not a catastrophe. Help her think of alternative things she can do if it happens again.

behappy2

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 6:40 pm

Completely normal. Usually kids will come over to Morah to complain. Tell her to tell Morah. The Morah will go over to the kids and help them. If it happens again call the Morah. I would normalize it for her "sometimes kids are playing and it's hard to change and include someone new. Can you go to Morah and get help or can you find other kids to play with?"

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