Why the pinching grabbing and scratching?

amother

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:30 pm

11mo DD pinches with digging in nails, grabs at DH's and my face, and scratches, and it can really hurt! I figure this is all normal behavior for babies but is there anything to do about it?? Other than always being on your guard and blocking and dodging (and keeping nails short)? I try to be on guard but she is so fast and gets me all the time anyway. We say no and get upset when we are hurt but she doesn't seem to care. Especially while I'm nursing she'll grab me with her nails and doesn't seem to care even if I yell in pain. Is there a specific reason for this that can maybe be addressed? Does it maybe mean she wants more attention or wants something else?

HappyMamma

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:20 pm

I had that with my son as well. Just kept repeating (softly) "gentle, gentle, we have to be gentle with mommy" and took his hand and showed him what gentle was. My husband also jumped in when he was home and he saw, he put on a stricter face and had my son look him in the eye, etc... make sure to always reiterate your love for your baby, each time you correct their hand. We also made a huge deal when he was gentle (even if it was only because we made him be gentle). Now he doesn't grab glasses anymore and the hitting is not as often BH.

amother

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 3:11 am

Another question: Should we not let her touch faces at all? Is it normal for kids to touch their parents faces? I think it would be easier not to let her hands on our faces at all but is that too strict?

amother

Seafoam

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 7:03 am

amother OP wrote:

Thank you for the reply! I will try that.

Does that mean this isn't typical in babies? Is she more agressive than most babies?

It's normal for babies. When they stop, depends on when they realize what they're doing is wrong. My seven month old is doing this now, and all my kids did it at some point. Dh's beard always got caught by them.

WhatFor

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 9:31 am

It's normal for babies to explore the world through touch. She's doing it because she's learning. Cut/file her nails shorter if she's scratching. And get her a lot of tactile stuff. When she wants to pinch or squeeze, say "it looks like you need to pinch something right now. Let's pinch this toy."

I would think that squeezing your breast is probably to get more milk out. Maybe see if she's able to hold something in her hand while feeding, so her hands are busy.

HappyMamma

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 4:31 pm

amother OP wrote:

I think it's very normal!

Seems like it might be too strict, it could be it's their way of connecting to you (even if it is aggressive now). I would just keep removing the hand and showing how gentle works. Distractions are also good, maybe have something handy like a squishy toy or a toy that interests her.

amother

Lilac

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 4:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

I learned after a while that if I give a big reaction when my babies hurt me, they find it funny or like the attention and keep doing it. I try to keep my reaction as low key as possible now, even though obviously sometimes I reflexively yell ow/no if it hurts. Something like "ouch, no scratching, gentle hands." And move her hand in a gentle way.

amother

Ruby

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 4:46 pm

I have this issue with my 16mo, I'm going crazy from it.
I noticed that it gets more intense when she is teething so maybe it's a way of releasing frustration