Is frum life becoming more polarized?

amother

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 9:07 pm

I got into an argument/conversation with my little brother over this, and I would love to hear your perspectives.

His thought process was the schools are trying to out-frum each other, people want the best names in shidduchim, and frum Life is becoming more polarized.

Something about this just didn’t add up to what I’m seeing. I feel like there are so many people doing their best living their regular frum life, and I’m not seeing any polarization among my friends. If schools are doing this, is it even what the parents want? Is there any truth to what he’s saying?

Maybe it’s location-dependent? I live in LA and he lives in the tri-state area.

amother

Green

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 9:13 pm

I don’t think it’s any more or less polarized than it has been in previous years.
Frum does extend from quite modern to ultra orthodox, but it always has been like that in my opinion.

amother

Mintcream

Thu, Feb 22 2024, 9:56 pm

I think your brother is accurate in terms of the New York City area.

You are in Los Angeles and since the density of frum people is smaller, it really is not possible to separate into such extreme classifications as can be done in the NY area.

I am stunned by the levels of differentiation for schools for example.

Also people seem to be more fixated on what other people are wearing and buying. I think LA is much more relaxed in terms of people being in such fear of not fitting into a specific mold.

I don't think everyone in the NY area is like this but at least based on the kind of posts I read on imamother, enough people are very nervous about crossing lines.

As I said, I think the density allows people to draw lines like this. Like the cliche about the Eskimos having a huge number of words to describe snow because it is such a vital part of their existence. Or designers knowing obscure words for different colors.