S/o if you could live anywhere. Can we have it all?

amother

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 11:42 am

A lot comes on this site about too much traffic, social pressure for all sorts like camp and brand name clothes, ostentatious simchas and the like.
At the same time in the 'if u could live anywhere' thread a lot of posters said they want peace, air, to be alone I.e. away from societies pressures.

Ok so this is my question. What do people really want? Because you can't have it all.
Let me explain:

I live in a city with only a few hundred families. It's growing and so are it's amenities, but slowly.
We have:
Two small kosher grocery shops where we can get most things.
A kosher butcher.
A small shop with disposal goods.
Schools, kindergartens and yeshivas within walking distance.
Clothes shops with frum styles open two hours most days depending on demand.
No restaurants but a couple of take- aways.
Etc.

But when people visit they often say they could never live in a place like this!

They think we're quite backwards and can't understand how we can live without kosher supermarkets, or a grocery that closes at 6pm, or without a restaurant or good supply of frum clothes.

But at the same time we don't have all the things people complain about.
Everything is nearby and within walking distance so we don't have a traffic problem.
Schools are nearby, mostly within 15 mins walk away. Not only that, everyone gets into school.
No restaurants which keeps costs down as well as social pressure.
Because there isn't a huge choice of clothes shops and the like there is hardly any pressure for brand names etc.
Local seminaries are a popular choice, it's normal to stay local. Noone thinks twice about staying local and not going to ey.

I love living here, it's a wholesome life, and a great place to bring up kids. Yet so many people say when they visit that yes it's lovely but they couldn't live here they need their creature comforts, the shops open late, many clothing options, eating out options etc.

So what do we really want? Everything??

Thoughts anyone?

amother

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 2:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

In the same vein many people come on here saying they have no support post birth or at other times.

So my community is amazing like this, if you don't have family close by friends and neighbours step in.

But again there are two sides to this. For example I was walking with my sil from a different town when a lady stopped me and wondered whether my baby should have gloves on due to the cold. I laughed saying that she had just pulled them off...and moved on. My sil said she could never live in a place where people tell you what to do. I see where she's coming from but said that this lady called me up a while back and offered to bring dd home from school when my dd told hers that I was ill with flu. A bit out of her way, but she cares.

Same sil was impressed that a co worker offered to host a bris seuda for me, saying that she dreams of such help. People care, yes there are 2 sides but can we have everything?

amother

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 2:54 pm

Success10 wrote:

I think when people were describing their ideal home, they were really just describing their ideal vacation. My guess is most of them would not enjoy the simple life long term. I know I wouldn't.

Yes I get that. But there are so many threads with people bemoaning the traffic, lack of caring friends/neighbours, over the top simchos, camp and seminary pressures, not getting kids into school and having to keep up with the Jonses.

My city doesn't have most of those pressures, but a lot of is due to having less ameneties altogether. We don't have the shops, kosher supermarkets open all night, the ability to send to camp etc but wouldn't you think it's worth the tradeoff?

People have time to stop and smell the roses and care for each other.