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-> Parenting our children
thegiver
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 Mon, Feb 26 2024, 12:26 am
How do you train a child to have self discipline and control their impulses? (Particularly boys with touch and girls with control over tone of voice)
I think a lot of our children’s behaviors are guided by habit. Would love them to learn to listen to their brains before they react!!
Maybe something simple like pause and think before you speak. Do you have any children who just talk empty banter— I don’t mean 12 year olds I mean younger than that
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#BestBubby
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 12:30 am
I would start by training in respectful speech.
Teach kids how to argue, complain, but still talk nicely.
Important lifestyle also with friends, teachers,bosses, and especially for marriage.
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amother
Slateblue
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 1:24 am
| thegiver wrote: | How do you train a child to have self discipline and control their impulses? (Particularly boys with touch and girls with control over tone of voice)
I think a lot of our children’s behaviors are guided by habit. Would love them to learn to listen to their brains before they react!!
Maybe something simple like pause and think before you speak. Do you have any children who just talk empty banter— I don’t mean 12 year olds I mean younger than that |
It's normal for kids to talk empty banter.
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amother
Melon
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:19 am
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Children don't have self discipline. It comes with age.
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thegiver
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 11:31 pm
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Surely you can help train them
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mushkamothers
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 11:55 pm
| thegiver wrote: | How do you train a child to have self discipline and control their impulses? (Particularly boys with touch and girls with control over tone of voice)
I think a lot of our children’s behaviors are guided by habit. Would love them to learn to listen to their brains before they react!!
Maybe something simple like pause and think before you speak. Do you have any children who just talk empty banter— I don’t mean 12 year olds I mean younger than that |
This is a developmental skill
I mean how old are you? Way older than 12 right?
Do YOU pause and think before you speak?
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amother
Darkblue
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Tue, Feb 27 2024, 1:39 am
Something worries me about your post. Maybe high expectations, or desire to control, or a need for "good behavior". Kids needs to have emotional freedom or they feel stifled, they shouldn't be trained like dogs.
Ideas - gentle guidance when they say something rude, reminders of what's not ok to say, letting them learn skills that naturally develop self discipline (music, sport etc. - but not obsessively because that's also not healthy), setting a good example, thinking through problem solving processes together in a gentle way.
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amother
Tangerine
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Tue, Feb 27 2024, 7:52 am
One of my dds talks non-stop. From when she was a toddler until now.
I bought her a whole bunch of books on being quieter when she was younger.
- My Mouth is a Volcano (this o e teaches actual skills, highly recommended. There is a whole series which might help for other behaviors for girls and boys)
- Lacey Walker Non-Stop Talker
- The Social Butterfly
I think we had others, but these are the ones I remember. They helped her understand, but it takes time to build the skills.
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thegiver
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Wed, Feb 28 2024, 11:48 pm
, thinking through problem solving processes together in a gentle way.[/quote]
Can you give an example or a few examples?
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amother
Brickred
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Thu, Feb 29 2024, 1:15 am
| amother Darkblue wrote: | Something worries me about your post. Maybe high expectations, or desire to control, or a need for "good behavior". Kids needs to have emotional freedom or they feel stifled, they shouldn't be trained like dogs.
Ideas - gentle guidance when they say something rude, reminders of what's not ok to say, letting them learn skills that naturally develop self discipline (music, sport etc. - but not obsessively because that's also not healthy), setting a good example, thinking through problem solving processes together in a gentle way. |
It's the wanting to have them "trained", their behaviors should always be proper and correct that's bothering you. Because parents should want to teach children how to improve their skills, become more mature, caring, sensitive, thoughtful etc not aim to put them into some mold wanting their every action to align with an imaginary unrealistic image.
Side note the idea that you'll
*train them to have
*self discipline
Are an oxymoron
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