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-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
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amother
Burlywood
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 Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:18 pm
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As someone who's had a preemie and also had full term babies, the advice is not necessarily the same for both. Even though your baby is well enough to come home, you will still need to be a bit more on top of some things than you would be for a full term baby. The general advice is not to wake a baby to eat, but with a preemie it might be recommended you do, especially if weight is still a concern. All newborns need to be protected from germs, but preemies, even after discharge, need some extra precautions. Keep an eye out for developmental delays, but also remember to use adjusted age (so if a certain skill is generally expected at 2 months but your baby was 2 months early, expect it to take until 4 months for him).
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amother
Petunia
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:54 pm
As the mother of a preemie, you need to do a shift when you come home. From now on, you are your baby's mother. You know best. Not the nurses, not the doctors, not the daycare Morah.
You will know your baby is sick when he's not acting like himself. He may have symptoms like fever, or it may just feel off. If you tune into your intuition, you'll recognize it.
You can get boatloads of advice from people and books and internet. Some of it is helpful. Some of it is not. At the end of the day, your baby needs you. He needs your time and attention and love. He needs you to try and make some mistakes and learn and grow together.
Some things will be an adjustment. He might cry when you change his diaper, and that might take some getting used to. If his diaper leaks, you might have to ask if you should size up or change things around. There's a lot of trial and error in raising kids. But kids are resilient and they just need us to do our best.
Watching your baby plugged in to all those machines is traumatizing. And you can get the feeling that he's incredibly fragile and if you make a wrong move, you'll break him. But if the hospital is ready to discharge him, that means he's much stronger. He's going to be okay. Take the time to get to know him, and learn together.
You got this Mama!
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amother
Strawberry
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:56 pm
| amother Foxglove wrote: | Relax. You've got this.
I assume the nurses will give you some info at discharge.
I never had a preemie, but don't wake a baby during the night. During the day wake to feed if it's over 3 hours.
When the straps don't overlap as much and baby starts leaking through, it's time to go up a diaper size. |
Wake up your preemie baby to eat at night. This is important. We are talking about a 25 weeker here.
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amother
Foxglove
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 9:38 pm
| amother Strawberry wrote: | | Wake up your preemie baby to eat at night. This is important. We are talking about a 25 weeker here. |
Thanks. That is why I added my disclaimer that I never had a preemie.
Again, I am sure they will give some discharge advice that is personalized to this baby and his circumstances. (Ie, how many times a day he needs to eat)
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mom923
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:18 pm
Mazel Tov! So so exciting!
Cut yourself some slack for the first little bit while you learn eachother. Biggest piece of advice I read was that it’s my daughter’s first time being a baby and my first time being a mommy. We’re figuring this thing out together.
She’s learning how to sleep, eat, play, move. And I’m learning how to take care of her and tend to all her needs. We’re both gonna mess up sometimes. She’ll cry at 2am…I’ll be a little late for a feed. She’ll leak through a diaper…I’ll forget to do tummy time one day.
Baby’s are a lot more resilient than we give them credit. Take it one day at a time and enjoy getting to know your little cutie. ❤️
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amother
Violet
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Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:21 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I had a preemie at 25 weeks who is b”h finally! coming home soon. It’s my first baby and I never made it to the end of my pregnancy book due to baby being born early and I’m feeling underprepared.
Could you all please share general safety tips and stuff I might need to know?
Like I know not to leave baby on the bed or anything higher than the floor pretty much, never leave baby in the bath alone. But share stuff similar to that.
what signs do I look for if baby is sick?
How do I know when to move up to the next diaper size?
How do I wake up my baby to eat?
Can my baby sleep with a blanket or do I need a sleep sack?
How much tummy time do I give?
How do I warm up milk? What do I do on Shabbos?
These are just a few questions I have but please volunteer any useful information you may have |
Since he is a preemie most likely he will need therapy services - ot/pt/speech so OT and PT can assist you with recommending how much tummy time which positions etc.
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baltomom
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 9:26 am
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I highly recommend the book What to Expect the First Year. It answers many questions and I found it very helpful when I had my first.
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flowerpower
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 9:31 am
Since your baby is a preemie he/she may eat very slow and fall asleep in the middle. Find out how to keep her/him awake during a feeding and find out what bottle/pacifier it will go for.
Also- it’s fine to leave a none crawling baby alone on a bed. As long as they are in a safe position in middle of the bed. Just sayin’
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theoneandonly
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 9:36 am
| flowerpower wrote: | Since your baby is a preemie he/she may eat very slow and fall asleep in the middle. Find out how to keep her/him awake during a feeding and find out what bottle/pacifier it will go for.
Also- it’s fine to leave a none crawling baby alone on a bed. As long as they are in a safe position in middle of the bed. Just sayin’ |
The problem with that is baby may suddenly start rolling over and roll off the edge of the bed. I'm not saying I've never left a baby in middle of the bed but you do need to be careful and be around to keep an eye on.
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bnm
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 9:44 am
| flowerpower wrote: | Since your baby is a preemie he/she may eat very slow and fall asleep in the middle. Find out how to keep her/him awake during a feeding and find out what bottle/pacifier it will go for.
Also- it’s fine to leave a none crawling baby alone on a bed. As long as they are in a safe position in middle of the bed. Just sayin’ |
Dont. You never know when its the first time they will roll over. One of mine rolled over at 5 weeks.
Pampers- when the tabs dont meet in the middle and closing them is becoming more of a struggle or the baby is leaking often. Sometimes they need the next size, sometimes a different brand.
Baby not eating as much as usual or crying more/waking more often is a sign that something is wrong and take them to get checked. At a certain point you learn what your kid's symptoms are.
If the baby is on formula and is ok with room temperature use room temperature water. If the bottles need to be warmer stick it into a larger cup of hot water on shabbos. Trial and error. Test temps on your wrist. During the week use an ounce of hot water and 3 ounces cold or room temp to make it warm.
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Eselle13
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 9:45 am
I find that sometimes my babies are very fussy. If I changed the diaper, tried to feed them and tried to burp them and nothing helps then I give them Little Remedies Gas Relief Drops.
It usually works and they calm down.
It saved my sanity because sometimes they can be fussy for hours!
You can ask your pediatrician any questions about things like this - you don't have to trust a random lady on the Internet 
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amother
Lotus
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 11:15 am
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Am I missing something that the diaper tabs are supposed to meet in the middle? I never had my kids in a size like that doesn't that mean it's too big?
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BatyaEsther
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 11:19 am
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Just wanted to say Mazel Tov! I am so happy for you. May your baby be a great source of nachas to you, your family, and klal yisrael.
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amother
Natural
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 11:26 am
| flowerpower wrote: | Since your baby is a preemie he/she may eat very slow and fall asleep in the middle. Find out how to keep her/him awake during a feeding and find out what bottle/pacifier it will go for.
Also- it’s fine to leave a none crawling baby alone on a bed. As long as they are in a safe position in middle of the bed. Just sayin’ |
My baby fell off a full size bed. She was in the middle with a pillow between her and the end. Why would you ever give this advice to a new mom?
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amother
Cadetblue
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 12:00 pm
Safe sleep guidelines:
- always put baby on their back to sleep, never side or stomach, and mattress not propped at an angle
- no blankets, no loose bedding, no stuffed animals, nothing at all in the crib except a tight fitting sheet on the mattress and your baby
- sleep sacks are excellent! Check the TOG ratings (how warm they are) and match that to the temperature of the room your baby is sleeping in. Super important that baby doesn't overheat during sleep. You can also get swaddles or sleep sacks with velcro wings to hold baby's arms in place, check TOG ratings for those too.
Feeding:
- Mine was a preemie, not as early as yours! We had to wake her every 3 hours all day and all night (ask your doctor what is best). Best way to wake them - change their diaper! Undressing also helps. Tickling their feet, ticklign up and down their spine, tickling their ears, tickling under the chin all help too. A cool (not cold) damp washcloth on their forehead or soles of feet can also wake them up. Lastly, nursing skin to skin is very stimulating for babies and is healthy for them and can help them stay awake. Especially important for preemies, strip baby down to a diaper and you should be topless or nursing bra only and cuddle baby against your skin, put a light blanket over you both if it is cold.
Other:
- Go for a weigh in and general check up at pediatrician within 1-3 days of release (ask at the hospital when it is needed).
- If you'll need to do frequent weight checks, invest or borrow a digital baby scale (a digital one that can handle movement and still give a reading).
- If you need to pump on shabbos, make sure you have a pump that can be used with a shabbos clock and ask your rabbi for further guidance
Diapers:
- They have weight ranges on the packages, I often go by those. I usually move up to the next size when they hit the bottom range of the next size up (not the top range of their current size).
Clothing:
- depedning on your baby's size now, regular newborn clothes might be too big. See if you can buy or borrow preemie clothes (people told me not to bother and I really regretted it).
Other safety:
- Never put baby down on a surface if you aren't right next to them or have a hand on them (even a small baby can roll off anything)
- don't shake the baby
- don't eat or drink hot things over or next to baby
- don't hold baby if you are near stove or oven
- Never ever leave a baby alone in the bath, you should be touching them at all times (mine fell back under the water as a baby, even though I was right there next to her, and thank G-d I was, I pulled her right out and she was fine. But even less than a minute and even an inch of water is enough to drown).
- no dangling cords or ropes anywhere near baby's sleep or play area
Sanity:
- If baby is screaming and you feel like you can't handle it, it is ok to put them down for a minute in a safe place (e.g., crib or play pen) and take a minute for a deep breath in the next room.
You'll be fine! If your baby made it from 25 weeks, they'll be totally fine at home!
Mazal tov, so exciting to hear of such a little one coming home.
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Sunny Days
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 1:59 pm
| flowerpower wrote: | Since your baby is a preemie he/she may eat very slow and fall asleep in the middle. Find out how to keep her/him awake during a feeding and find out what bottle/pacifier it will go for.
Also- it’s fine to leave a none crawling baby alone on a bed. As long as they are in a safe position in middle of the bed. Just sayin’ |
First Mazel tov! Hope all goes well with the homecoming! As a former NICU mom I totally get the fear! Hope things settle quickly without much overwhelm.
As per someone very smart said “never trust an angry baby” even a newborn who doesn’t officially roll, can ch’v roll off a bed in a screaming fit.
Regarding diapers- the parents choice- Walmart brand actually has a mark on the diapers to replace when tabs reach there! That said, I replaced way sooner bec my baby has big thighs and was getting red marks even though the diaper still technically fit well over the diaper area.
But I’m sure you’ll do great in figuring out most things- and imamother is the best when it comes to these things - literally 24 hour help avail
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amother
DarkMagenta
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 2:32 pm
| amother Cadetblue wrote: | Safe sleep guidelines:
- always put baby on their back to sleep, never side or stomach, and mattress not propped at an angle
- no blankets, no loose bedding, no stuffed animals, nothing at all in the crib except a tight fitting sheet on the mattress and your baby
- sleep sacks are excellent! Check the TOG ratings (how warm they are) and match that to the temperature of the room your baby is sleeping in. Super important that baby doesn't overheat during sleep. You can also get swaddles or sleep sacks with velcro wings to hold baby's arms in place, check TOG ratings for those too.
Feeding:
- Mine was a preemie, not as early as yours! We had to wake her every 3 hours all day and all night (ask your doctor what is best). Best way to wake them - change their diaper! Undressing also helps. Tickling their feet, ticklign up and down their spine, tickling their ears, tickling under the chin all help too. A cool (not cold) damp washcloth on their forehead or soles of feet can also wake them up. Lastly, nursing skin to skin is very stimulating for babies and is healthy for them and can help them stay awake. Especially important for preemies, strip baby down to a diaper and you should be topless or nursing bra only and cuddle baby against your skin, put a light blanket over you both if it is cold.
Other:
- Go for a weigh in and general check up at pediatrician within 1-3 days of release (ask at the hospital when it is needed).
- If you'll need to do frequent weight checks, invest or borrow a digital baby scale (a digital one that can handle movement and still give a reading).
- If you need to pump on shabbos, make sure you have a pump that can be used with a shabbos clock and ask your rabbi for further guidance
Diapers:
- They have weight ranges on the packages, I often go by those. I usually move up to the next size when they hit the bottom range of the next size up (not the top range of their current size).
Clothing:
- depedning on your baby's size now, regular newborn clothes might be too big. See if you can buy or borrow preemie clothes (people told me not to bother and I really regretted it).
Other safety:
- Never put baby down on a surface if you aren't right next to them or have a hand on them (even a small baby can roll off anything)
- don't shake the baby
- don't eat or drink hot things over or next to baby
- don't hold baby if you are near stove or oven
- Never ever leave a baby alone in the bath, you should be touching them at all times (mine fell back under the water as a baby, even though I was right there next to her, and thank G-d I was, I pulled her right out and she was fine. But even less than a minute and even an inch of water is enough to drown).
- no dangling cords or ropes anywhere near baby's sleep or play area
Sanity:
- If baby is screaming and you feel like you can't handle it, it is ok to put them down for a minute in a safe place (e.g., crib or play pen) and take a minute for a deep breath in the next room.
You'll be fine! If your baby made it from 25 weeks, they'll be totally fine at home!
Mazal tov, so exciting to hear of such a little one coming home. |
The bolded is so important. It's scary how many mothers put their babies to sleep on their stomach because "they sleep better that way". That's the problem. They sleep deeper that way and sometimes don't wake up.
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thanks
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 2:43 pm
Is your preemie baby nursing or drinking from a bottle?
There's a whatsapp chat for moms of preemies. You can ask all your questions there.
PM me if you're interested. I may be able to get you the link to the chat.
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mushkamothers
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 3:54 pm
(Don't thaw breadtmilk in hot water. It kills the good stuff apparently. Use warm or cool)
Artscroll has a book called babys first year that I was pretty impressed with. Spells everything out.
I have free Jewish black and white cards to download and show baby
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amother
Maroon
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Wed, Mar 06 2024, 3:54 pm
If you can, spend a full day at the nicu actually doing all your baby’s care,‘while the nurses watch or guide you. You will slowly start to feel more comfortable. When the baby cries, you be the one to try to figure out what’s wrong. Time for a feed? You prep the bottle and feed him, change his clothes etc. as if you were home, only the nurses are there to verbally guide you and troubleshoot. If you do that for 2-3 days, by the time he comes home you will be much more confident.
None of us start off as experts. We all learn on the job. When in doubt, call a friend, a sister, or your pediatrician. Even when I took home baby number 5 I still felt like I have no clue what I’m doing. It takes time to learn each baby and their needs. But it will come.
A huge Mazal tov. Make sure to make time to enjoy your baby!!
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