I dont know how to dress, help!

amother

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 2:16 pm

I've just come to the realization that I really don't know how to dress normally! I've been a SAHM for many years and always think of myself as looking decent but recently I had a meeting with some people and tried to dress in a way where I could look somewhat normal and realized I just couldn't do it! In the winter I'm normally wearing a black knee-length skirt, tights, boots a sweatshirt or a sweater. For this meeting I wanted to wear something with a cardigan or a Blazer type look and absolutely could not make it work. Also have no idea how to dress in the summer. Any help is appreciated. Please give me tips on how to dress in a way that's not shlumpy, not like I've been all these years, and easy.
Also looking for good tops for the summer that don't need a shell and to make it more complicated I don't like the feeling of a blouse, don't like animal or geometric prints or crazily embellished stuff with studs or pearls, oh and no frum brands either- live oot and can't afford shipping and returning
🙈

amother

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 3:22 pm

Thank you for responding and for these suggestions.
These links are only as helpful as someone is able to put things together. Is there any place that actually shows you how you can put together an outfit for an average body, not somebody who's tall and thin and can tuck in?
Also, not wanting to look like I'm walking down the runway just regular average everyday put together and I guess also nicer for Shabbos too

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 3:27 pm

This blouse may be of use:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CM.....tails

Can be worn in or out. Washes well. Lots of colors. Looks dressed. True to size. Well tailored.

As for putting things together, if everything below your waist is black, and the top is nice, you are fine.

If that's complicated, wear black from top to toe, and a colorful large scarf around your shoulders and jewelry.

Nobody ever looked terrible in a white blouse and a black skirt.

Get some blush on your face and maybe lipstick, although asking a mother to wear lipstick is silly. But shadow and blush ought to stay on.

Throw these beads on, maybe:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081.....;th=1

They are faceted glass, sparkle, and there is no clasp to fiddle with. The black ones look good on a white blouse. The clear ones go with everything. The red ones look nice on a black blouse.

I would avoid navy anything; it is hard to match. Every navy is different. Most black things go with most black things.

Last edited by Dolly Welsh on Tue, Mar 05 2024, 3:34 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Chartreuse

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 3:34 pm

It's really hard to give specific advice without knowing what you look like. Knowing your height, build and bodyshape and colouring are really important when figuring out what looks good on you.

It sounds like you could benefit from some one on one styling advice that would help you put together good looks from things you already have as well as guidance for what new items to add to your wardrobe. If you can't use a professional, maybe approach a friend whose style you admire.....she'll be so flattered.

You can get a general idea of what's in style by perusing different websites and style accounts, but if you are as clueless as you say you are it may be difficult for you to personalise current trends and make them work for you.

amother

Lotus

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 3:43 pm

What I do? Every time I (rarely) go out, I notice one or more women whose look I would copy. Try to remember what pieces they wore, and put together an outfit like that.

Alternatively, if you have teen girls you can get their input. They have teachers who they stare at all day Very Happy

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 4:13 pm

"I notice one or more women whose look I would copy. Try to remember what pieces they wore, and put together an outfit like that."

This. When you see a woman looking great, general physical type matches yours, memorize, memorize what she has on. Tiny details, all of it. Then pattern your own look on that.

You might not copy every single thing she is doing, or not exactly, but that is how you learn. From the masters.

She might not be at all flashy. You might wonder what exactly is giving this great impression.

Try to analyze WHY this simply dressed person is looking so great. There is a winning formula somewhere in there.

But don't bother learning from women, no matter how gorgeous, who are built completely differently from you.

amother

Chartreuse

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 4:25 pm

[quote="Dolly Welsh

"Nobody ever looked terrible in a white blouse and a black skirt. "

It can look great, but can also look waitressy. Be careful.

"Get some blush on your face and maybe lipstick, although asking a mother to wear lipstick is silly. But shadow and blush ought to stay on. "

Fully agree and if you are fair, find a good bronzer.
Make up is especially important if you go for a black total look. Black can be amazing but can wash you out and you need to learn how to wear black to that it is stylish and doesn't make you look like an Italian widow.

"I would avoid navy anything; it is hard to match. Every navy is different. Most black things go with most black things."

Disagree. Navy has the same slimming effect as all black, but is not quite as harsh or draining as black. I like it especially in the summer. That being said, you need to know which navy pieces work and bring out the best in you.

[/quote]

amother

Pistachio

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 4:30 pm

amother Bronze wrote:

https://thefrumshopper.com/collections/ladies?pf_t_by=by%3AMain

https://www.metziahs.com/women/

check these websites for instyle clothing on sale

These are great links. Thanks so much I just ordered five skirts from Nordstrom rack.
Do you have any links for a maxi dress that I can use for Friday night instead of a robe? You’re so helpful. Thank you.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 4:58 pm

amother Pistachio wrote:

https://www.amazon.com/Daniell.....766d3

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 5:35 pm

amother Chartreuse wrote:

Agree to all that.

Navy is a lovely color. It's just so hard to match. The pieces from one source bought at the same time will match. But if you have navy this and navy that at home, from various sources, they won't be the same shade of navy, that was my problem.

Yes you are right, black is harsher and you are right navy is softer and less draining.

amother

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 5:40 pm

Thank you for all of your replies. I do like the idea of looking at somebody and trying to copy what they wore but I'm wondering if there any sites anyone knows that I could look at online and try to copy what people are wearing there. Anyone well-dressed on Instagram or any other sites that would have modest cool looking people?

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 6:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

The problem with that is they are models. They aren't built like the rest of us. You need to look at real people who are your size, height, and general look.

Start with your face, that's easy. Just go to the store and ask the lady for some blush and shadow. Chances are any "peach" blush will do fine, and any "gray" shadow will do, too. If you even need shadow. Get everything the same brand, at first, that way they will all go together.

See about some earrings, necklaces, or scarves.

Then you are half way there.

amother

Pistachio

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 6:16 pm

amother Bronze wrote:

https://www.amazon.com/Daniella-Faye-Womens-Sleeve-Shimmer/dp/B0BR2KP9N2/ref=asc_df_B0BR2KP9N2/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=650579753651&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14830113549904912061&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9003971&hvtargid=pla-1989802233554&psc=1&mcid=5c0e47f488133d99bc4158458f2766d3

You’re amazing thanks so much I just ordered it!!

DrMom

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 6:16 pm

I'm not into US frum fashion, and I don't know your body type, but I would go for simple solid-colored dresses.

Dresses look neater than skirts and blouses because you don't have to worry about keeping things tucked in.

Add interest with a nice patterned scarf around your neck or simple jewelry. Done.

amother

Pistachio

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 6:05 pm

amother Bronze wrote:

I wanted to come on here and say thank you. I just received this robe and it is amazing. Can you help me out with any more links for things that are similar? Thanks again have a good Shabbos.

amother

Cantaloupe

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 6:36 pm

Some stores have personal shoppers and
They r free if u spend enuf - huge help for me as I am super short on time and not so confident that I can pick the right thing out for my figure - BEST THING EVER! If I spend over $400 there is no addl cost and I am going w my dd- so it’s a winner