4th grader asking to fast tomorrow

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:07 pm

My almost ten year old wants to fast a little bit tomorrow. What should I say?

He has school. If he would have been at home I would allow. But he will be at school

amother

Charcoal

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:09 pm

Ten?? That’s way too young. MAYBE til chatzos. At most.

amother

Gold

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:15 pm

You wrote a little bit. Unless there are health issues involved why not?

amother

Tuberose

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:16 pm

you know your kid best, but I would say a neutral, "kids your age don't ususually fast, how about you see how you feel?" and send the usual snack/lunch. making it "assur" to fast makes it more desirable, and you're not going to be force-feeding him, so this lets it be his choice in the end

amother

Stone

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:28 pm

That's around the age I allow my kids to skip breakfast. They'll eat morning snack in school and then lunch, and it's fine.

amother

Steel

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:35 pm

Skip breakfast. Can decide on snack or not, needs to eat lunch- does he have a half day?

Taanis Esther is one of the only fast days that everyone agrees there IS an inyan of chinuch for younger kids to fast, and this year is perfect for it because it does lead into Purim. Make sue he knows that along with that goes the fact that it is also the most lenient, so if he's not feeling well, he eats

mommyhood

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:41 pm

amother Steel wrote:

I thought that the inyan of chinuch was only for Yom Kippur?

amother

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:50 pm

Thanks! Maybe I’ll send him with cereal in a bag

amother

Bergamot

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 6:37 pm

amother Tuberose wrote:

I agree with this.

mommyhood wrote:

I thought that the inyan of chinuch was only for Yom Kippur?

I was told there's no inyan of chinuch for fasting, not Y"K, T"E

mommyhood

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 6:53 pm

amother Bergamot wrote:

I was told there's no inyan of chinuch for fasting, not Y"K, T"E

YK theres definitely an inyan, look at mishna Yoma 8:4. It’s not Halacha so if you were told not to that’s what’s right for you but the mishna specifically uses the term mechanchin for fasting YK pre bar mitzvah. Either way for the purposes of OPs question it says 1 or 2 years before so personally I would discourage a 10 year old from practicing any fast.

amother

Milk

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 6:55 pm

Let him he can break it when he’s ready.

amother

cornflower

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 7:09 pm

I was told that for children it's not about skipping meals but about actually skipping snacks and increasingly time between meals (That's the meaning of the phrase תענית שעות( then he has to eat breakfast but he can push off snack or lunch as long as he feels up to it

amother

Hydrangea

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 7:10 pm

Why not say yes? Send his food along to school and let him break it when he is hungry.

amother

Trillium

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 8:18 pm

Maybe I'm in the minority here - so many Imas seem ok with this but I teach 4th grade (girls) and I am really opposed to the idea.

There will be many years to fast. At 10 it isn't their mitzvah. Kids ask to fast because they think it's the cool grownup thing to do.

To all the posters who are saying skip breakfast - and what is he supposed to do when he's hungry and snack is at 10? His teachers are supposed to let the kids eat whenever they're hungry for however long they decided was long enough? And what if he decides to push himself until lunch and can't focus and is snapping at the other boys in his class all morning because he decided not to eat?

I tell my students they should skip treats on a fast day - go for regular snacks and remember it's a serious day. Take some extra time to daven and say tehillim - that's their avodah at this age and they should focus on what Hashem wants from them.

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 9:51 pm

I let my kids fast until their age. So a ten year old until ten am.
Though the real fasting for them is that they should skip candy/cake.

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